Sporking

Oct. 10th, 2010 10:08 pm
wook77: (FAIL BOAT)
You ever read a book and think, "this shit is so bad that I have to share it with the world"?

Below, is a c/p of a sex scene in a book called Bareback Mountain by Frank Sol. It is, hands down, the worst sex scene I have ever read. I laughed so hard I started choking. I scared my dogs as my laughter echoed off the walls of my room.

armpit licking, man-juice, gobbling, uncut prime piece of meat and when no means yes, all for the opportunity to slurp everything out of a fleshy tube )

I'm suddenly feeling a lot better about my own writing...

ETA:
"Poke, poke, poke," Clint said. "Oh, I just love poking things. Poke, poke, poke, WHAM!" and Clint shoved his hard dick up Jesse's ass.


DYING
wook77: (departed - fuck yourself)
I'm not going to see Avatar: The Last Airbender just due to its casting racefail. I'd made the decision a long time ago, we're talking before Azkatraz and I'm sticking to it. I won't be buying a ticket for another movie and sneaking in and I won't be seeing it illegally. I'm going to ignore that it exists because the fail is so fucking strong. That's not to mean I will ignore the fail. I won't. But I refuse to waste hours of my life on such a fail-filled movie.

That being said, I'm sort of enjoying the reviews. Not only is it filled with fail in the casting but it turns out that those colorblind-cast actors (yanno, the absolute best for the job without regards to the heritage) are absolutely dismal.

Shyamalan lets his unimpressive special effects do the work for him while coaxing performances from his young cast that make Jake Lloyd’s performance in The Phantom Menace look studied.
source

LOL

Best for the job wutwat? Oh, I'm certain you couldn't have found a better actor or actress anywhere.

Then there's the supposed horrific 3D, the supposed awful special effects and the lambasted exposition filled voiceovers. All in all, nope. Not wasting my time. I'd rather watch any other movie, even the A-Team. My free-time is in short supply and I really do not need to waste my time on this. Now I don't even need to feel like I'm missing a thing. As of now, the reviews are at 4% positive on Rotten Tomatoes (which is mostly down right now, as well).

And now? To sleep for a bit before leaving to head back to Tucson. My visit to the Midwest is over and I'm tres sad about it. Plane rides and then shuttles and then home to my dogs. And heat. Lots of lovely, lovely heat.
wook77: (VTF?)

My team won gold! SWEET!

Title: Tombstone, the Town Too Tough To Die
Author: [livejournal.com profile] wook77
Team: Snitch!
Genre(s): EWE
Prompt(s): Hunger or Alchemy, Go West
Rating PG-13
Warnings/Kinks:
Word Count: ~2790
Summary: Some of the things you find in Tombstone – copper, cowboys, rattlesnakes, sunshine, wooden sidewalks, gunfights, and one Severus Snape (the man too tough to die).
Author Notes/Disclaimers/Betas May thanks to [livejournal.com profile] djin7 for encouraging this and hosting the [livejournal.com profile] snarry_games. Also, many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] raewhit for beta'ing my work. Obviously, all mistakes are my own. I appreciate the opportunity to participate! I must admit that this was partially inspired by [livejournal.com profile] anathema91's recent visit with me to Tombstone. She now has Snarry Cooties on her.

Tombstone, the Town Too Tough to Die )

oh ew

Oct. 1st, 2008 08:32 pm
wook77: (AZ)
Almost back home. Am stuck in the Phoenix airport for a two hour layover. How long would it take me to DRIVE to Tucson? 2 hours. US Airways wanted fifty bucks on the offchance that I might, just might, be able to take an earlier flight. Um, yeah, no.

My tour of soft surfaces is basically over. I had plenty of them and plenty of fun, too. The last flight was a bit awkward. I wrote about 16 pages in my journal but also had to have a weird convo with the very religious people next to me. They kept asking me what I was writing and when I was getting published and I didn't want to tell them that I was writing gay buttsex between wizards in the Harry Potter world. Thus, I said "I'm sort of writing a romance novel" cause it's true, right? There's romance or, at least, my version of romance which involves plenty of break-ups and angst and character death. But still! It has romance somewhere!

My iPod battery died mid-flight. The guy in front of me was an asshole who kept thrusting his chair back into my legs. Those that have met me will attest, I'm not the tallest person in the world. So just imagine what manuevering he had to do to nail me in the knees about 30 times. Then he stands up and steps on my foot. I was in so much pain that I couldn't breathe and so I tapped him on the hip and he glared at me. So I huffed, "foot. foot. FOOT!" and he finally looked down and then went "why are you touching me?" I'M TOUCHING YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE CRUSHING MY TOES UNDER YOUR BOOTS, ASSWIPE! MOVE YOUR FUCKING FOOT! (I might have said that out loud... though it might have been "move your motherfucking foot" but I can't remember due to the blur of pain.)

Also - there's this semi-creepy kid across from me. He keeps shifting positions and he's moaning. I'm sort of suspicious that he's wanking. I'm really skeezed right now. His shoes are off and his socks are pushed into his toes and omg. He just moaned again and his hand is definitely near his waist. EW EW EW DO NOT WANT!!! DO NOT WANT!!!! If I could do scrolly text, I would. DO NOT WANT STOP THAT YOU PERVERT! EWEWEWEW

Oh god. Not travelling again for a very long time.

Dear Tucson flight - plz to be hurrying and plz to not be having me sit next to the kid. Plz. Love, me
wook77: (wank)
I need a happy place. Please... my coworker seriously just pissed herself and now the office smells like piss and I really really need a happy place to escape to.

Link me fic...link me art... link me smut... link me DOM... link me MONABOYD... link me pretteh boys... link me anything that will take me away from this wretched place. I don't give a shit about what fandom they're from... if it takes you to your happy place, then share it with me.

And because I know my flist... if you link me to watersports I will be very very unhappy...

Please, for the love of wook, spam my journal with anything that will take me to a happy place.




Current Fic: Billy's Girlfriend

January 2012

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