Sporking

Oct. 10th, 2010 10:08 pm
wook77: (FAIL BOAT)
You ever read a book and think, "this shit is so bad that I have to share it with the world"?

Below, is a c/p of a sex scene in a book called Bareback Mountain by Frank Sol. It is, hands down, the worst sex scene I have ever read. I laughed so hard I started choking. I scared my dogs as my laughter echoed off the walls of my room.

armpit licking, man-juice, gobbling, uncut prime piece of meat and when no means yes, all for the opportunity to slurp everything out of a fleshy tube )

I'm suddenly feeling a lot better about my own writing...

ETA:
"Poke, poke, poke," Clint said. "Oh, I just love poking things. Poke, poke, poke, WHAM!" and Clint shoved his hard dick up Jesse's ass.


DYING
wook77: (splodey)
A new spork has been posted at [livejournal.com profile] hp_splodey

The sporking are the comments made by [livejournal.com profile] wildegirl_05 and myself as we read a story and discuss it over Y!M.

The maroon text is an actual excerpt of the story. Please remember that we will not tell you the author, the title or the location of the story. This is to protect you from the rain of crap that shall fall down upon you while reading these stories.


A sampling -


A week after the war, Draco cornered him, gave him a dazzling smile and said “Bye Harry.” The next day Draco Malfoy disappeared.

A year after that, Harry is in China when he came across a long-haired Draco. They had coffee, talk about what’s new with the other and soon Harry found himself falling in love with the Ex-Slytherin. A couple of drinks later, a bunch of picnics and dances Harry took a leap of faith and told the blond his feelings. His nervousness disappeared when Draco actually wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck and said “I love you too.”


wook77: wow, we just skipped over a year of shite... wonder if we ask, she'll write it out for us?
wildegirl_05: well you know, that's what the review button is for
wook77: i thought it was to tell her to please stop foisting this shite on us and that no amount of betas could help her
wildegirl_05: that's gross misuse of the review button, that is. Anyways - harry's in china and drinking coffee? don't the chinese have excellent tea?
wook77: well, coffee is a very popular drink in the land of tea and draco is long-haired blond now. They are avant garde. but if draco's hair is all long... how did harry recognize him... damn tourists... refusing to assimilate to the native culture
wook77: and why was harry in china? and how did he get into the communist country, anyway? i mean... it's hard to get a visa to get in there
wildegirl_05: wizarding visa
wook77: oh shit, the logic train just ran me over. OUCH... sorry, I'll go back to this piece of illogical literature.



If you want to see more, head over to [livejournal.com profile] hp_splodey. Remember, you must apply for membership as the community is going to be flocked starting May 1. Sporkings will be posted on a weekly basis.

As always, we are always looking for sporkable stories... please feel free to comment with your recommendations in the search post. All comments are screened so if you even want to put yourself up for a sporking good time, we won't tell anyone else.

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