All the RomCom of Qi Xi

Other people are responding in a much more sane and logical manner to SEE and its crazy ass attempt to mask their quest to get their ship in canon by using the Greater Good of Gay Rights BBs than I ever could. I can't really think of anything other than GTFO. No, really, GTFO.

So instead of ragesplooging, I've decided to respond via crack. I present:

Wook's Totally and Completely Vulcan Logic Proof That Spock/Kirk Will Never Become Canon

It starts with a comparison between the two largest Sci-Fi/Fantasy tv/movie franchises - Buckaroo Bonzai Star Wars and Star Trek. Arguably, both of these have similar themes and morals in them. They both feature a quest of good versus evil, of addressing species dynamic and the subjugation of people and how bad it is. Plus, they both have some badass space ships that defy physics as we currently know them.

Thus, the logical basis of the proof is now established. Therefore, let us move on to the proof and the entire point of this discussion - the characters.

First, we have the farm boy who drives fast things, stares dramatically into sunset(s), has major daddy issues, lives with possibly-abusive father-figures, dreams of going into space and meets ship captains that make it happen. Thus, Jim Kirk=Luke Skywalker. come on, it's totally abusive not to let Luke go into Toshi Station and pick up some "power converters". A young man has needs, after all!

Then, we have the crotchety older man that becomes a sort-of quasi guide to the farm boy. This man is snarky, hot, slick, and, rescues the farm boy multiple times, and bitches about doing the right thing a lot but, eventually, does it all while looking really fucking hot and badass. Thus, Leonard McCoy=Han Solo.

Thirdly, we have the poor soul who loses a planet and has to witness the genocide of their people all because of an evil megalomaniac that has a giant chip on their shoulder and a big fucking machine to ensure that said genocide happens (and did I mention the part where they're held captive by said genocidal and evil megalomaniac?). Thus, Spock=Leia Organa.

Once we look at these three comparisons, you can see that Kirk/Spock cannot happen on the big screen and will be left in fanfiction because Kirk/Spock is extrapolated incest. They might kiss but the kiss will be purely platonic and will only exist to further the only truly acceptable homosexual pairing. That leaves us with Kirk/McCoy for the only viable homosexual pairing.

Also, because I'm full of it tonight and had nothing else to do, I've extrapolated more characters. Brace yourself.

( Sulu, Chekov, Keenser, Scotty, Uhura, and Pike )

Anyone else want to offer up a few?

Had nightmares last night about merry_smutmas.

The nightmare was that the person who lucked out or luck ran out and got my request wrote me Snupin. I know that I have Snupin lovers on my flist but for me? It's the Snape!squick thing, sorry but there it is.

Unless Snape is getting schtupped in angry!sex by Regulus, I don't want to think about him with a working willy. I like him as a greasy-haired asexual jerk.

Anyway, I kept waking up with shakes and freaking out about it. Silly and stupid but in the middle of the night, dom!Snape with a working willy is freaky, especially as, at one point, there were about 50 fanon cliches and one of the lines was, "you'd better like this, [wook]". Snape leered at me!

I've quite a bit of painting experience, as most of my flist can attest as I've spent the past few weeks bemoaning how much I've had to paint in my house.

In honour of this, I bring you A Slasher's Guide to Painting. There are 27 Tips and Hints total. These tips and hints have been test-run by ficlette and wendy for usability.

Disclaimer: wook77 will not be held responsible for any snorfling, spitting, computer damage, etc. Please remove all beverages from the immediate vicinity. (in other words - this is crack)

( Onwards, my remodeling soldiers, Onwards! )

Got a very interesting phone call today. Actually... I'm still on the phone with this interesting person. Who might it, you might wonder... it's wildegirl_05. We've been on the phone for 2 hours straight. She walked through the dollar store and the grocery store with me while I went on a dog walk with her.

Just so you guys know... she's exactly like she is online. She says so am I and I have a great laugh. Oh wait... she says awesome laugh.

Also, we've sporked a magazine, movies and something at the dollar store. She saw a wookiee on tv and thought it was symbolic. I thought she was smoking crack.

I already told her this story but I'm going to tell you...

( My day at the garage and with wilde along for the ride by wook77 )