Emo

[wook77]

I'm just going to be overly emotional here so, err, I flocked this but...

omg. Seriously. I love you guys so very very much there is just no way I can express it sufficiently.

You know how they say that when you're life sucks the most there is always a bright light somewhere? I didn't really believe it, I have to admit. However, I totally have gotten that today from you all.



I, um, am having a complete meltdown in my life. I've recently "broken up" with my best friend. It was an awful way for the friendship to end and it is going to leave quite a few scars.

I've also been working approximately 60 hours a week and my boss is an asshat and my coworker is lazy so I'm basically doing shitloads of work that isn't mine to be doing and they're taking advantage.

I found out that I can't go to Grad School in San Francisco like I wanted because the tuition is too much money and I wouldn't be able to afford it.

Then, the new person that they're hiring to take over for the vacation twat is two levels below me, part time and doesn't require a skill set and is making a buck an hour less than me which is just a slap in the face as far as I'm concerned.

Then, today, I fell down the stairs outside of my office. Any other day I could have laughed it off but, today, it was the final straw. I just sat on those steps and sobbed so hard that I gagged. I finally hit that point where I couldn't say, it will get better. It has too.

Then, I come back to my desk and check in and someone wrote me a gift fic. My first gift fic ever. And it was so nice and well done and beautifully fluffy. So, I started crying again. Because I'm an overly emotional twat. It's based on my now favorite het pairing of EmoGoth!Colin/Bubbly!Parvati at vu_network and it's seriously amazing. It's If You Like Reading Colati" and it's fluffy and w00bie and just gorgeous. Who wouldn't fall in love with this guy?

Then, my afternoon crapped out on me again. Once more, I'm thinking, I've hit rock bottom. Then, I finally head over to that Fandom Love thing and cruise to see who I can leave a comment on since I fangirl so many people and OMG I'm IN THERE AND THERE'S A BUNCH OF COMMENTS AND THEY'RE ALL SO LOVELY and I started crying again. But it was a good crying.


So you all, thank you so much for brightening a craptacular month for me. I'm sorry that I've been cranky and ranty and complaining and whinging. I've been a horrible friend and I haven't been commenting like I wanted and I've been avoiding everyone on the messengers and everything.

Comments

[fiona-fawkes.livejournal.com]

*crushes wook in a great big giant loving hug*

So, the bright light is you computer monitor, then. Score.

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Thanks and TEEEHEEE AKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA.

[fiona-fawkes.livejournal.com]

*sniggles*

[lurkitty.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[wook77.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

Thanks!

[corvidae9.livejournal.com]

*glomps like crazy* I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having such a rough time, sweetie. :( And there's a good reason people are saying such wonderful things about you. Tons, even.

And! Aberforth still loves you though, no matter what the goat thinks. In fact, he dedicated this song to you and asked me to pass it along so the goat doesn't get suspicious.

Give us a shout if there's anything else at all I can do. :D Even if it's just chattage or whatnot. <3

[wook77.livejournal.com]

*glomps back*

IT's loads of little things that just added up.

You're just making me giggle in happiness right now.

AND Aberforth still loves me? OMG That song! It's awesome! It's currently on repeat on my comp and I have so much love for that!

THanks! I'll do that!

[yodels.livejournal.com]

All that, and you still managed to play song titles with us all day? You are amazing.

*smooshes you like crazy*

[wook77.livejournal.com]

*enjoys the smooshing*

Song Titles was the only thing keeping me from screaming at my boss in rage.

[jehnt.livejournal.com]

*tackles Wook* No more sadness! I demand it!

I'm really sorry you and your best friend are no longer BFFs. That is always the absolute worst. I've never had a breakup with a boyfriend that was even remotely as painful as a schism in best-friendship.

And, gah, I can't imagine working the amount of time you do. That's crazy. But at least they're hiring someone, so that should mean less work for you, right?

And I haven't been over at the Fandom Love thing because, uh, timesucker even more than the flist, I would guess, but who WOULDN'T have nice things to say about you? You're so awesome and nice and talented and stuff. I'm very bad at compliment-things so you should take that and run with it, lol.

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Just for you, I'll do my best. It's just been overwhelming, yanno?

Yeah, "breaking up" with a friend is so much harder than a boyfriend. It's been bubbling for awhile but it just reached a point where I had to end it to keep me from going insane.

The work thing sucks and has been going on for a month. Plus, my boss has been interviewing but hasn't liked anyone yet so we're still looking. So, at least another two weeks of all this work. It couldn't happen at a worse time since I have so many writing commitments and stuffs.

The fandom love thing is amazing! There are just so many people to fangirl. I'll take the compliment-things and run away with them. They make me feel very good right about now :).

It's so nice having you back! You're such an awesome friend! and omg, your icon! YOU USED A WEDGE ICON!!!!!! BWEEEEEEEE!

[jehnt.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's my temporary Wedge icon, until I finish the "good" Wedge icon with the nice picture that actually looks like him.

By the way (watch how I casually drop this in), just the other day I figured out how to best do the header image things for you (yes, I was sitting on it because first I was busy, then injured, then dissatisfied with how it looked). I have found out that with the flexible squares layout, there exists code to let you have HEADERS THAT CHANGE ON REFRESHING. So each fandom can have its own header, and when you refresh, BOOM NEW HEADER. So, uh, it means I have to start all over, but I think it'll be way cool. And since this took (is taking) so long and I have suddenly decided you need more code so it's supersweet, if the original person lined up to do the layout isn't available I'll do it. Unless, of course, you'd rather have all the fandoms on one header.

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Seriously? That sounds AWESOME!

The friend that was doing my layout is super busy right now so she can't get to it for awhile so if you want to do the codes too, I will love you forever.

[wearethestars.livejournal.com]

It's all about the LOVE baby!

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Oh, it definitely is!

[kaalee.livejournal.com]

We seem to be living somewhat parallel lives. Not completely the same, but enough similarities that I feel a very deep empathy for what you're going through and the things that you described feeling really resonated with me. Because of that... I'm so sorry. I really dislike the *over-wroughtness* that I've been feeling recently, and don't wish it on anyone.

And, because sometimes the boys say things better than I can... for you.

[wook77.livejournal.com]

I hate sounding like a whinging baby, I really do.

I finally have calmed down enough to respond semi-rationally, btw.

Thank you ever so much for being so absolutely wonderful. The story really just made the day a win as far as I'm concerned.

It was just the best thing to boot up my computer and have a friend tell me to run, do not walk, to your lj even before I had any explorer open to check my email. It seriously overwhelmed me and just put the hugest smile on my face.

The fact that you empathize just seals the deal, as far as I'm concerned. I fangirled you before but now, I worship you. You are an amazing person and I'm so blessed to know you.

[kaalee.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling about feeling like one is whining. Though, to me, it doesn't sound like an inordinate amount of whining.

And, I'm so glad that could make things feel even a modicum of better.

Oh, and YAY for someone telling you to go to my lj before you'd even checked your email!! Out of curiousity, who was it? I must go glomp them for doing so.

anyway: ♥ I feel quite blessed to know you as well. And, again, I'm so pleased the drabble made you happy.

[incapricious.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

You don't need to apologize... you so have not been a horrible friend. We've both been not commenting and avoiding everyone on IM I think but I have to believe that doesn't make one a bad friend, it just makes one feel less connected to online friends, which can feel icky. But, dealing with your own RL stuff just has to happen and I'm sorry it's all been bad stuff and not good stuff. The thing with your friend has been a long time coming, but I'm sorry it's ended messily. I've never really had that happen, mostly due to not having friends (I don't mean for that to sound pathetic), or maybe due to my friendships all ending with a whimper and not a bang.

Seriously, despite your crappy month you still managed to brighten my day yesterday... which is amazing and you are wonderful and I wish I could do something to help you out, but I am just barely hanging on myself, to be honest. Repression only works for so long, apparently, and then it all bubbles over and you end up crying in the car (or at the bottom of some steps that really should fuck off for making you trip down them). If I lived near you we could go on a walk (at night when it is cooler) and look at the stars and we would end up somewhere in the middle of nowhere and we could both stand there and shout obscenities at cacti. And then we would go to my house and watch movies and drink tea with lots of honey. And then you would spend the night in our guest room and in the morning I would make waffles. *nods* That's what would happen.

♥

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the K situation was a really long time coming, it just sucks with the way it ended. It bashed up my self-esteem and that pisses me off that I allowed that.

I'm really glad I brightened your day. I really meant to do it months ago ;) but I fail at mailing things, writing things or doing most things in a timely manner. I have crappy time management skills which makes me so glad for you all.

I agree that the crying in a car thing (I did that too on the way home)because of course, everything that was going wrong at work was due to me. I'm not normally so overly emotional but just right now, it hit the breaking point.

I like your plan but could I have a Smirnoff Ice or a Diet Coke with a slice of lemon? I like the waffles and the guest room and all that. That would be very very nice.

If you ever want to shout obscenities at the cacti, I live on the border of the reservation so, err, plenty of cactus to shout at. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow morning before I go to work.

I need to start doing yoga again.

[dove95.livejournal.com]

We fangirls have to stick together. I'm sorry today seemed like a bust, but we're all here in someway for ya *hug*

[wook77.livejournal.com]

It's more like the past month has been a bust. I'd like to motion that June ends now and we can start July. Cause, it'll have to get better.

Thanks for the hug, I really do need it right now.

I appreciate your comments and everything.

[yaycoffee.livejournal.com]

Oh, man! My best friend (since we were twelve) broke up for about six months two years ago... so we would have been 27 at the time. It was messy and awful, and ... That is, seriously, one of the WORST things anyone can go through... way worse than breaking up with a boyfriend, IMHO. So, yeah--so much love on that. Guh.

And... funny you should mention goth!Collin. A RL friend sent this picture of the actor who plays Collin in the movies to me today, and it made me laugh. You've probably already seen it, though.

[wook77.livejournal.com]

It's really been brewing for about six months and I finally had to say that enough was enough for my own personal sanity. But, it still hurts and really beat the crap out of my self-esteem because some horrible things were said on her part.

Yeah, that pic? Is the EXACT reason we did emo!goth!colin. We really couldn't resist the power of Goth!Colin. He was supposed to be total crack throughout the game.

Instead, it turned into this w00bie kind of thing that no one predicted at all. Parvati and Colin were supposed to be crack not w00bie. But, I love the w00bie so much more than the crack for them.

[bouncy.livejournal.com]

I have yet to comment on that meme but I saw yours on mine and thank you. <3 <3 <3 I'll be going through it tonight, expect one from me on yours.

As to the rest of this post, I really hope everything in your life gets sorted out and runs smoothly. Its such a horror when things just wont go right.

You don't need to apologise for anything. Life gets like this and we all react in our own ways. You have many, many friends that love you no matter how you are feeling and want to help you. ♥ ♥; ♥

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Isn't that meme total love? I went over there just to comment on other people because I thought... you know, if I'm feeling crappy so maybe are other people and if my day is shit, well, at least their's doesn't have to be. And then I saw me and I was OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG and I started just crying.

I keep thinking, it will all work out. The universe can't hate me for long because I'm genuinely a nice person most of the time but don't tell anyone else, yeah?

I'm so glad that you felt that way because I was really thinking that people are just going to go OMGWTS?! get over yourself! We all have issues!

[bouncy.livejournal.com]

It is!! And it reached the comment limit and is continuing on a different journal. Its amazing; everyone has joined in together to spread the love and warm feelings. I felt like crying when I saw my own. It feels good, ne? To just se your own name and then the actual comment thermselves. <3

I feel exactly the same way. Its strange how some of the bad things seem to happen to the good/nice people. Seems unfair, really.

Okay, that last comment really speaks out to me!! I know that feeling, thinking that everyone will tell you to get over yourself. What I've learnt is that some people will respond like that but overall most of your friends just want to know how you are. They care, love and treaure you. ♥ ♥ ♥

[snottygrrl.livejournal.com]

[*pets*]

[*passes tea and chocolates*]

it must be something in the stars. life is less than happy for many i know.

[*pets again*]

[wook77.livejournal.com]

YAYES! Thanks!

Yeah, I really think there's been a convergence of *blech* somewhere.

But, I bought my tix for lumos and I'll be there with bells on or something.

[best-of-five.livejournal.com]

*sqmuishy hugs*

i hope it starts getting better soon ♥

[wook77.livejournal.com]

*gropes*

*giggles*

It will... obviously things are already looking up since the flist rocks so hardcore.

*loves*

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

Aw, sweetie! I didn't know you were having such a rough time of it! *hugs you madly* Now I am sorry to have missed the Fandom Love for you, but I would have left a comment about how awesome and adorable and talented and wonderful you are! Even if your taste in hockey teams sucks. And why did you never tell me you hadn't received a gift fic before?! I would most certainly write you one! Give me an H/D prompt, hon, and I'll whip you up something this weekend, okay?