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wook77I'm just going to be overly emotional here so, err, I flocked this but...
omg. Seriously. I love you guys so very very much there is just no way I can express it sufficiently.
You know how they say that when you're life sucks the most there is always a bright light somewhere? I didn't really believe it, I have to admit. However, I totally have gotten that today from you all.
I, um, am having a complete meltdown in my life. I've recently "broken up" with my best friend. It was an awful way for the friendship to end and it is going to leave quite a few scars.
I've also been working approximately 60 hours a week and my boss is an asshat and my coworker is lazy so I'm basically doing shitloads of work that isn't mine to be doing and they're taking advantage.
I found out that I can't go to Grad School in San Francisco like I wanted because the tuition is too much money and I wouldn't be able to afford it.
Then, the new person that they're hiring to take over for the vacation twat is two levels below me, part time and doesn't require a skill set and is making a buck an hour less than me which is just a slap in the face as far as I'm concerned.
Then, today, I fell down the stairs outside of my office. Any other day I could have laughed it off but, today, it was the final straw. I just sat on those steps and sobbed so hard that I gagged. I finally hit that point where I couldn't say, it will get better. It has too.
Then, I come back to my desk and check in and someone wrote me a gift fic. My first gift fic ever. And it was so nice and well done and beautifully fluffy. So, I started crying again. Because I'm an overly emotional twat. It's based on my now favorite het pairing of EmoGoth!Colin/Bubbly!Parvati at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
vu_network and it's seriously amazing. It's If You Like Reading Colati" and it's fluffy and w00bie and just gorgeous. Who wouldn't fall in love with this guy?
Then, my afternoon crapped out on me again. Once more, I'm thinking, I've hit rock bottom. Then, I finally head over to that Fandom Love thing and cruise to see who I can leave a comment on since I fangirl so many people and OMG I'm IN THERE AND THERE'S A BUNCH OF COMMENTS AND THEY'RE ALL SO LOVELY and I started crying again. But it was a good crying.
So you all, thank you so much for brightening a craptacular month for me. I'm sorry that I've been cranky and ranty and complaining and whinging. I've been a horrible friend and I haven't been commenting like I wanted and I've been avoiding everyone on the messengers and everything.
omg. Seriously. I love you guys so very very much there is just no way I can express it sufficiently.
You know how they say that when you're life sucks the most there is always a bright light somewhere? I didn't really believe it, I have to admit. However, I totally have gotten that today from you all.
I, um, am having a complete meltdown in my life. I've recently "broken up" with my best friend. It was an awful way for the friendship to end and it is going to leave quite a few scars.
I've also been working approximately 60 hours a week and my boss is an asshat and my coworker is lazy so I'm basically doing shitloads of work that isn't mine to be doing and they're taking advantage.
I found out that I can't go to Grad School in San Francisco like I wanted because the tuition is too much money and I wouldn't be able to afford it.
Then, the new person that they're hiring to take over for the vacation twat is two levels below me, part time and doesn't require a skill set and is making a buck an hour less than me which is just a slap in the face as far as I'm concerned.
Then, today, I fell down the stairs outside of my office. Any other day I could have laughed it off but, today, it was the final straw. I just sat on those steps and sobbed so hard that I gagged. I finally hit that point where I couldn't say, it will get better. It has too.
Then, I come back to my desk and check in and someone wrote me a gift fic. My first gift fic ever. And it was so nice and well done and beautifully fluffy. So, I started crying again. Because I'm an overly emotional twat. It's based on my now favorite het pairing of EmoGoth!Colin/Bubbly!Parvati at
vu_network and it's seriously amazing. It's If You Like Reading Colati" and it's fluffy and w00bie and just gorgeous. Who wouldn't fall in love with this guy?Then, my afternoon crapped out on me again. Once more, I'm thinking, I've hit rock bottom. Then, I finally head over to that Fandom Love thing and cruise to see who I can leave a comment on since I fangirl so many people and OMG I'm IN THERE AND THERE'S A BUNCH OF COMMENTS AND THEY'RE ALL SO LOVELY and I started crying again. But it was a good crying.
So you all, thank you so much for brightening a craptacular month for me. I'm sorry that I've been cranky and ranty and complaining and whinging. I've been a horrible friend and I haven't been commenting like I wanted and I've been avoiding everyone on the messengers and everything.
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no subject
Date: 2006-06-23 02:54 am (UTC)You don't need to apologize... you so have not been a horrible friend. We've both been not commenting and avoiding everyone on IM I think but I have to believe that doesn't make one a bad friend, it just makes one feel less connected to online friends, which can feel icky. But, dealing with your own RL stuff just has to happen and I'm sorry it's all been bad stuff and not good stuff. The thing with your friend has been a long time coming, but I'm sorry it's ended messily. I've never really had that happen, mostly due to not having friends (I don't mean for that to sound pathetic), or maybe due to my friendships all ending with a whimper and not a bang.
Seriously, despite your crappy month you still managed to brighten my day yesterday... which is amazing and you are wonderful and I wish I could do something to help you out, but I am just barely hanging on myself, to be honest. Repression only works for so long, apparently, and then it all bubbles over and you end up crying in the car (or at the bottom of some steps that really should fuck off for making you trip down them). If I lived near you we could go on a walk (at night when it is cooler) and look at the stars and we would end up somewhere in the middle of nowhere and we could both stand there and shout obscenities at cacti. And then we would go to my house and watch movies and drink tea with lots of honey. And then you would spend the night in our guest room and in the morning I would make waffles. *nods* That's what would happen.
♥
no subject
Date: 2006-06-23 03:42 am (UTC)I'm really glad I brightened your day. I really meant to do it months ago ;) but I fail at mailing things, writing things or doing most things in a timely manner. I have crappy time management skills which makes me so glad for you all.
I agree that the crying in a car thing (I did that too on the way home)because of course, everything that was going wrong at work was due to me. I'm not normally so overly emotional but just right now, it hit the breaking point.
I like your plan but could I have a Smirnoff Ice or a Diet Coke with a slice of lemon? I like the waffles and the guest room and all that. That would be very very nice.
If you ever want to shout obscenities at the cacti, I live on the border of the reservation so, err, plenty of cactus to shout at. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow morning before I go to work.
I need to start doing yoga again.