an addendum

[wook77]

An Addendum to my WTF list -

I just read a story that used the euphemism "Meat Stick" in all seriousness.

I was immediately kicked out of the sexy sultry BDSM mood and went straight to giggles (Did not pass Go, did not collect 200 dollars).

Anyone else have a word/phrase/saying that makes them go WTF?! and ruins the story?

Comments

[emella.livejournal.com]

Meat stick? Hee!

Usually it's just OOCness for me. Someone sobbing in the middle of sex or just bad bad characterization.

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was all... bondagebondageforcedblowjobmeatstickWTF?!

Oh yeah, sobbing!draco or emo!harry just make me go WTF?! all over the place. I normally put them on my sporking list.

[wearethestars.livejournal.com]

And it wasn't for a challenge? In all honesty a lot of things make me click back faster than a bludger off a beater's bat.

That would do it.

I had to use "Trouser Snake" in a fic. *g*

[chaeldub.livejournal.com]

hehehe 'Trouser Snake'

Has flashback to Nagini and... oh my, I just can't go on, it was just to traumatic.

Psyche.

Twas totally Cracktastic in a non Cracky way.

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Nope... it was totally serious in the middle.

It went like this...

Bondage, forced blow job, I love sucking on his meatstick. I was like wtf? what's a meat stick? and then I went *facepalm* when I realized it.

Your trouser snake was awesome.

[mordyn4]

Anyone else have a word/phrase/saying that makes them go WTF?! and ruins the story?

Dude! See my post and the responses on the very same issue. Meat stick? That's just dumb. Was the author really young? Really old? Having translation issues?

M.

[wook77.livejournal.com]

omg, some of that stuff is so hard to believe that people ACTUALLY say that.

The author was supposedly a gay man in his mid thirties from England. So, err, no no and no? I think he was just clueless.

[chaeldub.livejournal.com]

Euphemism's generally just don't fit in any fic, unless its Crack or a period piece. Although, I am partial to Love Truncheon, Beef Bayonet, One-Eyed Custard Chucker and the ever faithful Penis(it's an anatomical term, no man calls it that... ever)

That reminds me, I got to go bash the Bishop... not :D

[wook77.livejournal.com]

oh jesus.

See, I'd rather see "penis" than "meat stick". Especially since the scene was thus -

Bondage bondage forced blowjob omg yayes I love to suck on his meat stick.

It was just so unbelieveable. The worst part was that i was like, wait, what's a meat stick? and then realized. *facepalm*

it was so bad that it wasn't sporkable.

[inmyth.livejournal.com]

O.o

Umm OOCness makes me cringe like nothing else, I tear at my hair, my t-shirt, my eyes...you get the picture.

Also: jizz. And all other weird names for sperm or whatnot.

[wook77.livejournal.com]

oh god yes. for both.

emo!harry or emo!draco make me want to gouge my eyes out until I realize that I need to read GOOD fic to clear the image. I don't want my last sight to be "meat stick".

Oh yes, jizz and cum. Both make me gag. then again, so does "juice". Just say come and/or don't mention fluids at all.

Personally.. I like the phrasing "It" for that kind of stuff. We all know what you're referring to.

In one exchange, I received a threesome with femmeslash in it. The author kept going on about the petals and drenched cunts and milkywetness and stuff. I was gagging by the end.

[inmyth.livejournal.com]

Ok I'm gagging now.

...in fact and I'm a bitch for saying this but I'm supposed to be doing this weird anonymous cross-sharing fic thingy and the one I've been assigned is a bit :/

I've had it for ages and only managed to read 4 paragraphs of it. *sigh*

[wook77.livejournal.com]

bitch away.... ;)

I had other people read mine and see if I was overreacting to the poor quality. I was all, wtf do I say as i didn't really like it.

and I'm sorry *pets* what's wrong with it?

[inmyth.livejournal.com]

It's so friggin out of character. God I'm not exaggerating...it just hurts. Ok so maybe a bit *shifty glance*.

No seriously, we have like hooker-and-loving-it!Harry with (I think cos I haven't read far enough) trying-to-be-suave-and-oh-so-off-canon!Draco.

Hand me a spoon will you?

Can you get other people to read it? Considering it's anonymous?

[wook77.livejournal.com]

well, it was eventually posted publically so others could read it.

if you want to email it to me, I'll slug my way through it for ya...

it sounds crackalicious. Just keep thinking it's a joke and make sarcastic comments about each thing and you'll get through it... that's where the hp_splodey came from. wilde and I were slugging through a fic and were OMG THIS IS AWFUL and once we started mocking, it became easier.

[inmyth.livejournal.com]

*grins*...yeah someone did tell me to do a MST out it.

Sending it.

[lurkitty.livejournal.com]

EWWWWW! meatstick make vegetarian want to hurl!
I personally don't mind penis. But that's me.
I've read a lot of posts like this lately.
For me, if it sounds like somebody swallowed a Penthouse Mag., I quit reading. Ah well.

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Penis is a word that's always made me giggle. I think it's the five year old inside me. I hear penis or vagina or clitoris and I giggle.

God, there's just so many bad fics out there that people are reaching their annoyance point. This one was just *gag* worthy.

I'm with you on the "penthouse" thing as well. If they start raving about the size and color and texture of the penis, I just snorfle. I don't really need to know that he was a perfect 8 3/4 inches, pink all over but at the tip a raging purple and tasted like silk and bland penis. (also in the same fic)

Then again... I'm kind of curious to know what silk and bland penis tastes like.

[acidpop25.livejournal.com]

....

BWA HA HA HA HA. Ohhhh, that is hilarious.


As to your question... yeah, "manhood" and "member" really annoy the hell out of me. Turns it from hot smut into bad trashy romance.

[sugareey.livejournal.com]

I think I want to throw away my fried rice now. Except I really am hungry and it's really good but that word alone just ruined my appetite. I'm sorry but meat stick just doesn't work. I mean...I just use man juice for crack fics but that's it besides come. But anything else is not cool.

Cum really does bother me. I have no idea why but it makes my jaw twitch with aggravation. Basically refering to male anatomy as some type of food with seriousness sounds gross. Or disturbing...I'm not sure which unless you are making pure crack for the fun of it.