All the RomCom of Qi Xi

My life is a soap opera. On December 5th, I had a minor accident, making my record 10 car accidents not my fault. Basically, some dude attempted a left turn from the straight ahead lane right in front of me. Only, instead of continuing his turn, he stopped dead. On a green light. Fucker. So I dented my hood. Got a call today from the shop that it's been at since that the adjuster FINALLY came out and wants to total my car. I cannot afford to do that. UGH.

But it gets better. I was in a rental since 12/5. However, on Monday night, I had ANOTHER car accident. This one totaled my rental car. I was heading west in the straight-ahead lane when a fucker made a left turn in front of me. I had the rightaway but he decided to tag along on a dude that was cutting it really close. I was going about 45 mph and ended up with a broken right ankle, a broken middle toe on my left foot, major chest pains, bone bruises on all my ribs and my sternum, a torqued right hip, a torqued right knee, a torqued right wrist. My hips are also shredded from the seatbelt.

I need surgery on my ankle, which I find out tomorrow how bad my surgery will be. I will either need a pin, a plate, or a plate AND a pin. I basically broke my tibia where the little stickyout bit on your inner ankle is. I spent 7 hours in the ER on Monday and liveblogged it for the poor people that follow me on Twitter. They now allow smartphones in the ER. Guess I don't need to pretend to be the nanny anymore? :P

I'm on percoset which keeps making me dizzy but isn't doing much for my ankle. The break wasn't too awful comparatively until I got home from hospital on Monday when I wacked it against concrete. That was followed up by my dad tripping over my foot the next day.

I'm somehow supposed to be using crutches except for the fact that I have a broken toe on my "good foot" and no chest muscles. I can't even wash my own hair. It's the little things you miss, you know? So humbling not to be able to shower without assistance. My mum had to wash my hair. My sister has to lift me in and out of bed. I can barely hobble into the loo.

All this aside, I'm better off than I could've been. There was a dude that OD'd next to me in hospital. Then there was a dude that was airlifted into hospital that was bleeding out across the hall from me. So, in the scheme of things, I'm better than I could've been. Honestly, the worst part (besides the throbbing ankle) is that I was stuck in a neck brace for over 5 hours and I wasn't allowed to pee for 6 hours. I was pretty shocky that first night so the pain didn't really register.

The lolarious part is that they actually had to pry my phone out of my hand to treat me. I freaked when they put it out of reach. Poor nurses having to deal with freaking out wook :( I feel awful for them. My mum stayed with me and did a great job holding it together. She only cried once. I guess I looked pretty bad at first.

The best part is that I've been inundated with lots of love, some from very unexpected sources. Coworkers at both jobs have sent flowers and stuff. If only they would send frozen Snickers bars :P

Anyway, I could use some good thoughts out into the universe because, srsly, I am having the worst karma ever right now.

Dear Mother Nature,

Whatever I did to piss you off, I'm completely and totally sorry. I didn't mean it.

Love,
wook

Dear God,

I'm sorry for taking Your name in vain. I'll probably do it again but it doesn't lessen how sorry I am.

In addition, I promise to start going to church more regularly. Or is it that I actually stepped foot into a church on Saturday that you cast this blight down upon Arizona?

A sign for which one caused snow in Arizona and I'll do the opposite. Promise.

Love ya,
wook

Hell Arizona has frozen over. We're one big blanket of snow and ice. Below the cut is a picspam from last night and this morning. It took me two hours to get in to work because asshat morons down here see a snowflake coming down and freak the fuck out. Then, they closed every bridge. Then, the radio announces the bridges are open and yet, I sat staring at one that was CLOSED for half an hour. Thank God for ficlette keeping me sane in the car. I only said 'fuck' about ninety times during our phone call.

Actual conversation from this morning with my neighbor (we'll call him 'bob'):

wook: *scrapes ice off windshield using newly found ice scraper (I used a cd case the last ice we had)
bob: Whatcha doing?
wook: scraping ice off my windshield *thinks err, duh?*
bob: whatcha using?
wook: an ice scraper
bob: I've never seen one of those before
wook: *goggles*
bob: well, I've seen 'em hanging up in Pep Boys but never actually seen one being used. Does it work?
wook: um, yep, like a charm.
bob: wow, I'll have to go get me one.
wook: don't bother, you can borrow mine.
bob: how do I use it?
wook: nevermind, I'll do it for you. *scrapes bob's windshield*
bob: wow, that's handy.

My packrat tendencies have now been redeemed. Everyone LAUGHED when I saved this stupid thing. I boxed it up over 3 years ago and just found it last night. My timing is excellent.

( proof of the apocolypse...so not dial-up friendly )