wook77: (christian - thinking)
On Thursday and Friday nights this past week, I volunteered at an emergency shelter. Tucson declared a state of emergency due to the cold and the fact that 14k people were without heat. Unfortunately, the shelter didn't get a lot of usage but, still, awesome idea.

During my time volunteering, I met some amazing people. There was the guy that gave up his condo in NYC to drive around in a beat-up Jeep and camp out in various places around the US. He was appalled that, whenever he asked anyone where the library was, they had no idea. It wasn't just Tucson, it was Seattle and Des Moines and Chicago and Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. We talked about books and writing for hours.

There was the guy that came in that had a bit of gas going into his house but he simply couldn't afford to heat his house. He chatted with me as he walked his cat around on a leash. We had brilliant conversations about his time in the military and how he felt a bit loss because he'd never found a job that fit quite like the military. He had problems relating to people and never once made eye contact with me. He told me that I was the first person he'd talked to for more than a few minutes, at least in three years. Three years of not having anything more than a cursory conversation with someone.

There was the homeless man who had a service chihuahua. The dog was there for seizures and for mental health issues. It was freezing so the man came in from the cold only for his dog. If it hadn't been for the dog, he would've stayed right outside, he proudly told me. He was very withdrawn and only responded when asked about his dog.

But the one set of people I met that has me wrenched up in a navel-gazing sort of way was the 13 year old girl I met. (I'll call her "A") She came in with her father and they had two cats that walked on a leash. One was fixed and the other wasn't. It wasn't until they'd been at the shelter for three hours that she gave an interview to one of the reporters that showed up. When the reporter asked her how long they'd been without gas, she looked at him, blinked and said that there was plenty of gas in their car. It's just it was nice to sleep in a real bed.

A and her father (always father, never dad or daddy. always father) had been living in their car for two months. This time. They'd had a place for a few months before that but before that, they'd been living in the car. In the past year, she'd been living in the car over 6 months. A car.

Both her and her father had very limited social skills. The first night, they barely talked to anyone. They were polite but withdrawn. A was proud to admit that she'd started her first college class (13 and going to college and homeless). Other than that, they didn't speak. The second night, I greeted them by name, ushered them into the shelter with a smile and found myself talking to both her and her dad. It was hard to navigate the conversation, to keep it away from things they found intrusive (questions like, "are you warm enough here" and asked because the first night, the boiler malfunctioned and the place's temperature sank to 55, was far too personal). I talked to them about their animals and the importance of spaying and neutering. The father mentioned that one of my co-workers had mentioned a free neuter but he wasn't interested. We talked about health risks and ensuring that the animals kept all their shots up to date.

I took a moment to introduce everyone to my replacement, ensuring that my replacement volunteer knew the minefield and could make better decisions than I had the night before, and went on my way.

This morning, I got a call from the co-worker (who is a high mucketymuck at work and not just a grunt like me) that the father had agreed to neuter his cat and that it was all "your fault". I've never been so grateful to hear the words "your fault".

But, really, I wonder about the impact I had. Anyone who has been on my flist for awhile can tell you that, every year, for my birthday and for Christmas, I ask people to give to the needy, to look through their closets and downsize their stuff. I ask people to donate to local charities and take the time to volunteer if they can. I'm really good at the lip service to these causes.

However, I've learned that I still suffer from the "not in my backyard" syndrome. Sure, there's a problem with homeless families but, really, not in Tucson. We're a very generous small city. And, really, if it's a homeless family, it's female-led. That's why it's important to have safe places for families to go. Except that most homeless shelters don't really plan for male-led homeless families so where did this father/daughter combo have to go that wouldn't separate them?

The other part that really got me was that each person that I spoke to told me about how awesome the libraries are, how important they are for a safe haven and the opportunities they presented. To A, they meant a place where she could work on her college and high school classes. To the traveler, they meant a place where he can get a book, brush up on his skills and take a moment to rest somewhere warm/cool. To another gentleman, they meant a place where he could just be. It was rare that I heard about the importance of the books but, instead, they talked about the librarians that helped them without judgment and the rare one that did judge. They talked about how it was a shame that libraries weren't treated with respect anymore. They talked about how people abuse the library, stealing books that others want to enjoy.

And I sat there, knowing full well that I owe twenty-five dollars in fines to the library that I can easily repay but I've been too fucking lazy to do and I was so ashamed at that moment (and now). So, Monday, I'll be calling the main branch and having my credit card charged for my fines. I'll be making a donation, too. I'm going to work harder at my classes.

I'm reassessing what I've been doing and how I look at the world. It's all navel gazing but, really, sometimes you need something to rock you out of complacency and I have to thank A for that.

Sorry this is so long and not under a cut but it feels wrong to hide their stories under a cut. These people are hidden away so much by society already that I feel ashamed for trying to hide them again. So, no cut and you can flay me for it, if you'd like.
wook77: (blow up fandom)
My racism/minority groups class is depressing me and not due to subject matter, either. I really thought that in a class that has an entire segment of the textbook that addresses the fallacy of "some of my best friends are..." that I wouldn't receive a comment that stated that "over-the-top portrayals of gays is all right because one of my best friends is gay and he laughs at himself all the time". Um, dude, just cause you find campy stereotypes of gay people to be lolarious doesn't mean that everyone does. I shouldn't have to explain the segment of the motherfucking textbook to you. I also shouldn't have to explain that his vote doesn't cancel out my vote and that makes it all right that the only portrayals of gays on mainstream television are the campy ones that never have a relationship.

Ugh, I did it anyway but, still. So much depressing bits because I shouldn't have to do it in a class based on racism and minority groups.

Then again, this entire weekend has been filled with this. I had to defriend someone yesterday (and block them from my LJ) when they decided to post a vitriolic, Islamaphobic diatribe as an "honor to 9/11". It is not honoring the people that died on 9/11 to post nasty, hate-filled, accusatory and negative stereotypes in an attack on Muslims. Cause, guess what? There were some *gasp* Muslims that died on 9/11 that weren't the hijackers, so STFU, bigoted doucherocket. Stop using a tragedy to justify your hatred. Otherwise, don't be surprised when someone whips out the Oklahoma City Bombing as a reason to hate all Christians. Face it, there are extremists of every religion out there. I shouldn't have to explain this but, dude, guess I do.

I also spent the weekend working and shopping for books. I got a bunch of awesome old skool romance novels to laugh at read and enjoy in addition to some awesome cookbooks, fantastic movies and Wiilliam Shatner's Star Trek Memories. OMG DID I SCORE OR WHAT!? The Shatman's memories of being on the Star Trek set! EEEEEEE PLUS OMG! I got a cd of his music and three books that he authored! It was Shatmanapalooza!

How was your weekend?
wook77: (star wars: shut it)
On a more "let's catch up cause I haven't posted in ages" post... I'm currently killing myself on my classes. My Psych 101 class is fucking RIDICULOUS. There are 4 exams every 3 days. There are two homework assignments, 1 paper, and ten discussion questions. That's for just one class.

My Human Sexuality class is extremely interesting but it's also sort of ridonkulus amounts of work. There's about 4 a week in that one plus about 3-5 papers. Then there's also 4 discussion questions where I have to respond to 4 other responses per question.

Plus - in my Psych class - I've had to explain slut shaming and rape culture already. Dude. WTF.

I'm just overwhelmed.

BUT! I have 2 full weeks off of Fry's remaining and I'm taking advantage of it, lemme tell you. SLEEP! Homework! Writing! I signed up for the Reel Star Trek challenge. I also have moar Bakery AU fic done up. AND! I'm writing a mirrorverse fic.

It's so nice to have a bit of free time.

I had a date. It, um, was interesting? He doesn't have email and he doesn't have any minutes for his cell phone. Dude. If you can't afford your cellphone, how the hell do you think you can afford me? I mean, srsly? A cell isn't all that expensive. Then he was sort of really pushy at the end of the night and he emo'd about me leaving to visit [livejournal.com profile] elanorofcastile. THEN, as it was a double date, I was trying to have a conversation with the other people at the table and he totally kept talking over me and going on and on about how smart I am instead of FUCKING LISTENING. So not fucking cool. AND, somehow, I have to extricate myself gracefully from a second date because he works with me. This is why I don't date people I work with. I so totally knew better but I wasn't certain if it was a date so I went, just in case it wasn't.

As far as the recent kerfluffles and shit going on - I just want to say - If people are telling you that they're hurt by your words, you probably shouldn't use snide, condescending language as you explain, over and over, how you didn't hurt them. You do not get to dictate their response to your words. Instead, why not try saying "I'm sorry I hurt you. That was not my intention" and leave it at that? Or would that be too nice and polite for you?


May. 18th, 2010 11:53 pm
wook77: (christian - thinking)
And.... done with Spring semester. Jesus, it was crazy. I also ended on a low-note as I'm praying for c's right now. Considering how busy I've been with work, I'm lucky to have gotten that high cause I missed some exams and discussion questions.

I have a few weeks off and then I'm right into Summer semester where I'm taking Psych 101 and Human Sexuality. Textbooks for my human sexuality class are over 400 bucks to buy and... 30 bucks to rent. Guess which one I'm doing.

I did have to learn a couple of people in my Sociology class about Twitter and how it's more than just what Demi and Ashton had to eat for dinner. I linked to articles on how the Library of Congress is archiving the Twitter-verse and how Twitter helped in Iran. I get that it's mostly "i hate work" and "oh god, don't make me go to work" and "why do I have to get out of bed" (maybe that's just mine) but it's also "look at this douchebaggery" and "oh how cool" and "lulz". Anyway, so yeah, I sort of really went after this one girl about Twitter. Oops. I hope the professor isn't all "zomg bitch" and give me a low grade.

I'm refreshing election results and watching movies and really enjoying my night off other than taking a final that took me SIX MOTHERFUCKING HOURS! Now to get to bed so I can be at work at 7am. (Oh god, don't make me go to work)


Mar. 9th, 2010 09:51 pm
wook77: (malak)
I post, I disappear for two weeks. I post, I disappear for two weeks. I'm starting to detect a pattern.

Work is currently nomming on my brain. Unfortunately, that isn't likely to end as I'm currently working on some major projects that could have a very good payoff for me.

In addition, there's school and the idiots in my class. IE: We were asked about a solution to poverty and one of my classmates responded with "give people more money. People with money aren't poor." Cause, yeah that'll work. UGH. And all the responses were similar.

Anyway, I have fic. I have LOTS of fic. I have fic that I got back from beta a week ago and I have fic that needs to head to beta. I have fic in journals and on receipts and in books. I have fic everywhere but just no time to transcribe and tweak. Tonight is a rare night off and I'm totally transcribing it.

Did I mention that the keyboard on my computer died on Sunday? Only like 12 keys work on it. I've tried everything and nothing worked except plugging in a USB keyboard. I just hope that the Ebon Hawk holds together until I can afford a new computer. I figure if its namesake could have rocks crush it on Malachor V and fly off into the sunset, then so can my computer, dammit.

I also stitched up two of my four cross-stitched Star Trek character pieces for [livejournal.com profile] help_haiti. The first is a Kirk/Mirror!Spock and the second is Picard/Riker. I just have to find my freaking frames and mail them out and then I shall post photos. They're seriously adorable, just ask [livejournal.com profile] elanorofcastile.

I have missed bunches and bunches of your lives and I apologize profusely. I do not blame you for thinking I'm a douche.
wook77: (I am a fascist pig)
Turns out that one of my Fry's coworkers is in one of my classes. The one that I'm currently having Major Textbook Drama with. So, I'm super stoked about having a built-in work studybuddy! Whee!

School updates, as I haven't done one lately -

My Gender and Sexuality class got cancelled. So I immediately raced around for another class because I had just told my student loan people "fuck you, I'm going back to school" and, yes, that is a direct quotation. (Professionalism, my middle name is not at times) To take any of the interesting Sociology classes, I have to take Soc 101 so, alas, that's where I'm at.

The Textbook Dramaz: I ordered my books a week and a half before the dumbass sent me an email telling me that she had shipped them to the wrong person and if I wanted to wait about a month to get it, she'd ship them to me. She also refused to cancel the order. BLERGH. Finally, she cancelled the order. Amazon didn't release the hold on my credit card for almost two weeks after ordering. This would be payment 1 for books.

I ordered the books from someone else. I attempted to cancel this order about 2 hours after I ordered it. Nothing from the seller. I sent an email a day later. Nothing. I sent an email the day after that, just to get an email from the seller telling me they had shipped it same day I ordered. But if I wanted to pay for all the shipping, he'd gladly refund as soon as I got the book. Snide email sent about just sending it back to him "return to sender" and not paying for shipping for a book that I cancelled long before he sent it. Payment 2 for books.

I ordered books from someone else. See above issues with communications from the sellers and shipping even though the order was cancelled. Payment 3 for books.

Net result - at one point, $450 in charges for books that I do not have and do not need. Amazon finally released the first hold yesterday evening after I filed a complaint. Now I wait for the books to arrive here, refuse delivery and send 'em back to get my money back. Got the books for free through googlebooks and a friend of mine.

Class is, so far, a joke. First assignment was to write an introduction of at least a paragraph. Second assignment was to email the professor. Third assignment was to write what ethics and respecful conversation on the internet means to you, at least a paragraph. Fourth assignment was to write the first paper - 2 paragraphs on what social conditions impign on you. That's a paper? Back in my day, papers were pages and pages long and we liked it :P. Fifth assignment is to discuss illegal immigration as macro vs micro. Oh goody. That one will be hard, too. But, seriously, cake so far. Famous last words that will come back to bite me in the ass, I'm certain.

Holocaust class starts in two weeks. Here's to that one being just as easy.
wook77: (FAIL BOAT)
Day has been spent working and in tears. I worked what is, probably, my last shift at Fry's last night. I thought I was all right but it's so weird to think about being forced off my job tomorrow.

I've never been fired. It's sort of a weird position right now because it feels an awful lot like I'm being fired because Fry's is the one calling for the lockout of all union AND non-union employees.

IDK. I'm in a weird spot emotionally.

I called my student loan company to ask for a deferment as I'm losing my job and they won't give me one even though I'm going to be locked out and am not choosing to lose my job. Instead, I got lectures on how lazy I was to go on strike and how they can't be losing money just because I choose to walk away from my job and blahblahblah*insert judgmental cunty commentary* blahblahblah. So, I finally snapped at the woman that I'm going back to school and I'll be getting a student deferment instead and so they couldn't collect interest on my loans anymore and to "stick that in [her] judgmental crackpipe and smoke it" which, probably, was not the most reasonable/mature thing to say. But it did inspire to go to the local community college's website and register for two classes to maintain the 6 credit hours needed to put my student loans in deferment. Thus, I'm taking "The Holocaust" and "Gender Identities, Interactions and Relations". The second one sounds really cool:

Examination of the social structures and processes related to gender in society. Includes sex versus gender, theoretical perspectives, politics past and present, gender and the family, love and marriage, and masculinity. Also includes gender in the workplace, in the media, religion, and medicine, and global perspectives.

Both are either online or self-paced classes.

So fuck you, judgmental bitchy cuntragdoucheball at the student loans that I have overpaid 6 times in the past 9 months. FUCK YOU! I'm going back to school and there isn't a fucking thing you can do about it.

Thus, I should be able to almost pay my bills starting in April when I pay off my car loan to Bank of Dad. So now, my only concern is health insurance so I can get a couple of necessary surgeries done.
wook77: (idiot you are)
Ugh, today=day from hades.

I got up extra special early to go take a bunch of exams. I get there, find out that when I spoke to the person last week, they were wrong. I'm only allowed 4 exams, not the 8 they told me. So, I have to take 4 exams a day through to Wednesday. Um, that sucks. Guess I don't get to retake any exams as I have 15 I have to take.

I bombed the first exam which, yanno, is full of the information I need for the entire rest of the exams. But, I aced the third and fourth. Then again, I didn't study for the third and fourth exams too much as they were on crap I've already done (WWI, WWII and the Cold War) so, um, yeah.

Professor asked me about why I kept using "s" instead of "z". Somehow, I thought it might be slightly more awkward to admit to the Harry Potter pr0n than to just appear as a pretentious anglophile. So, now my professor thinks I'm a pretentious anglophile that's put off her exams to the last possible minute.

I have another 11 hours of homework. Really, I just want to write all the fic I have due. Someone want to do my homework for me? Maybe take the exams too?

I also changed from Netflix to Blockbuster Online. I requested the first season of a show called Dante's Cove. It's this horribly acted gay supernatural soap opera with the hottest kissing and sex scenes ever. I found it through [livejournal.com profile] smallfandomfest and omg, soooo hot. I also requested this Israeli film called "Yossi and Jagger" that's about two gay soldiers stationed at an outpost. It looked really good and had a fairly beautiful kissing scene on youtube.

I'm reading about Marxist-Leninism and I keep thinking about the threesome I'm trying to write. I think it might be tarnished by the scary portraits of Lenin and Marx in my book, though. Now, instead of Connor and Murphy MacManus getting it on with Tommy Donnelly, it's Marx, Lenin and Trotsky. Damn you, international relations class! I don't want old communist theorist porn, I want hot young irish boy pr0n! (though, yanno, if someone wants to write Marx/Lenin/Trotsky, I'd read it)

How are all of you?
wook77: (Heh - Trance)

Pervvy Valentine Series by Laurel_tx


I haven't posted fic in forever but it's mainly because everything I'm working on right now is for anonymous exchanges or with other people and they're busy cleaning up my horribly written smut working with me on it. I have a gen piece almost done and a wonderfully smutty piece for [livejournal.com profile] daily_deviant that's interesting and not my normal sort to be writing.

Prophecy is up in the air at this point, I'm sorry to say. I received a bill for 2k that I'm trying to find the money to pay (and not out of my Prophecy fund). But, it's not looking good for that. So, up in the air but don't give away my spot in the room yet.

rambles about my dog and school and other things I'm worrying over... )

How are all of you?

January 2012



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