(no subject)
Dec. 25th, 2006 10:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wook77I love the idea of Christmas. As an Almost-a-Nun sort of person, I adore the Christmas story. I love the magi and that Joseph believed Mary when she really could have been stoned for that whole possible pre-marital sex thing. I love the beauty and the wonder of the season. I listen to Christmas carols all year long. I LOVE the idea of Christmas.
I hate the actual implementation. I hate having to be polite over shitty gifts. I hate that I ask for specific things and I don't get them. Every year, I get my hopes up that this year will be different, that my family will read "I'd really like you all to go together for my birthday and Christmas and combine all these gifts into one gift!!! I just want x this year!" as meaning, I just want x and not a bunch of other crap I have no need or use for.
I'm not saying i don't appreciate the thought. It's just that there isn't any thought to the gifts.
For example - Christmas 2003 - I received the Cowlender (a Calendar with cows that have horrible puns in little bubbles coming out of their mouths) for 2003. That's right, one of my gifts, I was able to use for 6 days. At least it wasn't broken. Three of my other gifts that year were broken and were actually purchased that way.
Christmas 2004 - I received a fluffy cow toilet seat cover. I wore it as a hat as part of my Halloween costume the next year. The thing was misshapen and scary, to be perfectly honest. I also received a timer that didn't work (another cow thing where you twisted the udders to time your baking) and a book in Russian though I've never studied Russian.
Christmas 2005 - I received a vinyl laminate milk carton "coozie", the thing that you can put around the milk carton to keep it cool for the two seconds it'll be out of the fridge. Possibly thoughtful gift if - a.) I drank/used milk (I'm lactose intolerant liekwhoa and haven't actually bought milk in two years) and b.) It didn't have the opening for the pouring spout in the wrong spot.
Every year, I get fancy chocolates from coworkers and friends when they all CLEARLY know that I'm allergic to chocolate. The reason that I know that they know? I make a point of saying it so that they won't spend the money on chocolates I won't eat and that are slightly dangerous to my health.
This year? All I wanted was an xbox 360. I wanted ALL my family to go in on birthday and christmas and put it ALL together into one gift, one box under the tree and I would've been happy. What did I get? A vacuum. Yeah, you read right. I got a vacuum. Oh, and I got a super heavy winter coat that is a country scene with cows grazing in a field cause what you need in Arizona is a winter coat that's so heavy, eskimos wouldn't need it. Did I forget to mention the matching hat? Cause there's a matching hat that looks like a tricorn hat and a beanie got together and had sex and this is their love child.
I hate the forced smiles and the "gee golly gosh, wow, you shouldn't have"s. I won't say thank you for a gift I'm not thankful for... it goes against my sense of honesty. Ugh, I hate the implementation of Christmas.
So now that I've shared about my crappy gift luck, what are some of the worst gifts you've ever received? Worst gift wins a prize though I have no idea what that prize will be. Can you top the milk coozie? The tricorn cowprint hat?
I hate the actual implementation. I hate having to be polite over shitty gifts. I hate that I ask for specific things and I don't get them. Every year, I get my hopes up that this year will be different, that my family will read "I'd really like you all to go together for my birthday and Christmas and combine all these gifts into one gift!!! I just want x this year!" as meaning, I just want x and not a bunch of other crap I have no need or use for.
I'm not saying i don't appreciate the thought. It's just that there isn't any thought to the gifts.
For example - Christmas 2003 - I received the Cowlender (a Calendar with cows that have horrible puns in little bubbles coming out of their mouths) for 2003. That's right, one of my gifts, I was able to use for 6 days. At least it wasn't broken. Three of my other gifts that year were broken and were actually purchased that way.
Christmas 2004 - I received a fluffy cow toilet seat cover. I wore it as a hat as part of my Halloween costume the next year. The thing was misshapen and scary, to be perfectly honest. I also received a timer that didn't work (another cow thing where you twisted the udders to time your baking) and a book in Russian though I've never studied Russian.
Christmas 2005 - I received a vinyl laminate milk carton "coozie", the thing that you can put around the milk carton to keep it cool for the two seconds it'll be out of the fridge. Possibly thoughtful gift if - a.) I drank/used milk (I'm lactose intolerant liekwhoa and haven't actually bought milk in two years) and b.) It didn't have the opening for the pouring spout in the wrong spot.
Every year, I get fancy chocolates from coworkers and friends when they all CLEARLY know that I'm allergic to chocolate. The reason that I know that they know? I make a point of saying it so that they won't spend the money on chocolates I won't eat and that are slightly dangerous to my health.
This year? All I wanted was an xbox 360. I wanted ALL my family to go in on birthday and christmas and put it ALL together into one gift, one box under the tree and I would've been happy. What did I get? A vacuum. Yeah, you read right. I got a vacuum. Oh, and I got a super heavy winter coat that is a country scene with cows grazing in a field cause what you need in Arizona is a winter coat that's so heavy, eskimos wouldn't need it. Did I forget to mention the matching hat? Cause there's a matching hat that looks like a tricorn hat and a beanie got together and had sex and this is their love child.
I hate the forced smiles and the "gee golly gosh, wow, you shouldn't have"s. I won't say thank you for a gift I'm not thankful for... it goes against my sense of honesty. Ugh, I hate the implementation of Christmas.
So now that I've shared about my crappy gift luck, what are some of the worst gifts you've ever received? Worst gift wins a prize though I have no idea what that prize will be. Can you top the milk coozie? The tricorn cowprint hat?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-12-27 04:15 am (UTC)If you were in the middle of exam season and were pulling an all-nighter... everytime you went to fall asleep, poke a finger into the bowl and BAM! You're awake again! (that's a plus side, right?)
I'm laughing my ass off at the story! Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!