wook77 | Entries tagged with hiring and firing

Yanno, I did this entry of what makes me hit the backbutton really, really fast when it comes to fanfic. I feel like I should do one on professionally published works, as well. For example, referring to one of your main protagonists as "a slice of chocolate cake" because he's a black man. Really? Was that necessary and/or appropriate? The book sounded awful anyway (plus, no excerpt) but that "slice of chocolate cake" was just the icing on the fail cake (yes, bad pun, sorry :().

Interviewing continues for the open position. Recent applicants/interviewees included:

a.) the man telling me that he doesn't waste his time on "that Star Wars crap" (um, dude? You're staring at a picture of Wedge Antilles and you're sitting in an office currently filled with "that Star Wars crap"). He's much smarter than that because he likes chess but only plays against people that have a lower skill level than he does because he hates to lose. He also told us his previous boss was out to get him and constantly setting him up for failure and that he likes to snoop through other people's desks so that he can see what they are and aren't doing.

b.) the lady with the see-through shirt where I could see her bra. No thanks, I really do not need to see that. Plus, she then admitted that her animals are not fixed, that they run around the neighborhood adding to a pet overpopulation problem and then giggling about it. You do know what we do here, right?

c.) The lady who called me up and demanded an interview and then cried on the phone when I told her that she wasn't qualified. Please don't cry. That really makes me uncomfortable. I'm sorry that your years of working on building calculators doesn't qualify you for an accounting position but building them and using them are not the same thing.

d.) The guy who wants to be a wilderness guide, knows how to ride horses in two different styles and just got certified for remote wilderness survival. None of that relates to accounting. Just because you know which bugs to eat (yes, that was on his resume) doesn't mean that you'll be able to accurately determine which accounts to charge expenses to.

Ugh. Hiring. I keep hearing that there are tons of people looking for jobs. Why can't I get qualified AND non-crazy ones. They're either not-crazy and not-qualified or qualified and crazy.

So, interviewing continues, obviously.

So, problem employee turned in her notice after the previously discussed issue. Which I totally expected so I was well-prepared with knowing the resume/interviewing process was about to happen. Day before leaving for Star Trek: Las Vegas (more on that later), we put the ads out and the resumes poured in.

Thus, you get to continue along with the sequel: Adventures in Hiring v2.0. For v1.0, see here. There's plenty of crazy.

I'm rather cheap for this so I only listed with the unemployment office and craigslist as they're both free to list jobs.

We've got baristas with no accounting history but they know how to make mini-donuts. We've got 7th Grade Math Teachers. We've got former Controllers. We've got Circle K Managers. We've got so many random people. No one super bitchy yet which is a plus. Instead, there's just a whole lot of unqualified applicants.

We did the first interview this morning. The lady wore so much perfume that I barely kept from gagging. Three hours later (and lunch), I'm still tasting her perfume on my tongue. I have a major headache from the perfume.

Here's a hint - if you're looking for a job, do not wear perfume. You don't know if the hiring person is scent-sensitive or not. If they are and you wear perfume, you're out of the hiring pool. If they aren't and you don't wear perfume, you simply smell normal and human. See, win/win to not wear perfume. The sad part is that this lady interviewed very well for the most part but the perfume was just too strong for me to consider having that in my office all the time.

Another hint - a resume should be formated in a certain way. If you have random columns that I can't figure out the logic behind, you are not going to get an interview. If you still have the brackets where Word wants you to fill in the blanks, I will think that you do not know how to use Word properly and will not hire you. I simply have too many resumes coming in to try to spend more than a few minutes on a resume that makes no sense and/or looks appalling.

Third hint - if you use all caps in your cover letter to emphasize how GREAT and AMAZING of a JOB CANDIDATE you are, I am going to think that you are neither GREAT nor AMAZING. I'm going to think that you like random caps and compose unprofessional correspondence for my professional job.

Final hint - stop with the family status in your resume. Seriously. I do not want to know about how many children you have. I only want to know about what qualifications you have to perform the job I am advertising for.

Interviewing process: Still interviewing people. Have three more interviews tomorrow. Out of 8 people, I sort of liked 2 of them. They didn't wow me but they didn't horrify me, either. One woman reminded my favorite coworker and myself of Marisa Tomei's character in My Cousin Vinny - big hair, ridiculous shoes, way too much perfume, awful sweater dress. She even had a bit of an accent. And she was pushy as all fuck, making salary demands and adjustments to our benefits package and shit. One guy, he was so nice but I'd eat him alive in about 5 minutes. He was very meek and skittish.

Work: closed the month in a shorter period than my boss has ever done it with 4 people. And I only had 2 of us. Take that. Also processed payroll, did interviews, did payables and a shitload of other special projects in there, as well. Who needs my boss anyway?

Life: I keep having the strangest dreams. Last night, I had the same dream 4 times. I was 2.5 months pregnant and I knew it was a girl. I decided I was going to name it "Mardigan Elizabeth". When my mother asked me why, I replied "because everyone should have a child named after a Val Kilmer character". WTF?! Cause, yanno, if you're going to name a baby girl anything, you should name her after Mad Mardigan from Willow. Oh dream logic, you so crazy.

Tonight was my only night off all this week. So rather than write or watch a movie, I've done 6 loads of laundry, stripped my bed, rotated my mattress, made my bed, cleaned the bathrooms (all 3 full baths), cleaned my room, alphabetized my books, and baked. Well, at least my productivity level has yet to flag. I plan on sleeping on Sunday. I can wait that long, right?

ETA: Awesome! I'm now caught up on commenting on all my tabs that I've had open for over a week. *happy dance at fandom productivity*

Current Mood: busy

Work is eating my brain alive. I've barely been able to pause for a breath. I take about 5 minutes to eat and, even then, I'm normally reading a spreadsheet or Peachtree report. Fry's has also increased my hours for the next two weeks so now I'm at 26 hours a week. Which, yanno, crazy but the money is nice.

In happy-making news,

emiime and her husband visited Tucson and I was able to hang out with them for a few hours on Tuesday night at one of my favorite restaurants ever. They're both AWESOME. I'm totally pimping Tucson to them to get them to move here.

New trailer for Boondock Saints II is out -

What do you guys think? ( my thoughts )

In body!fail news: I just finished my period 5 days ago. I have it again. Gyno told me "that's normal" for those coming off the medication I've been on. I call bullshit. Time for a new gyno.

In interviewing news: The sheer, overwhelming number of resumes coming in has reached the depressing stage. There are so many people that are looking for jobs and, dude, you can tell that they're just trying to better themselves (to my entry level position, which boggles my brain). I had my first interview and this lady was just as condescending and arrogant in person as she was in her resume. Which was at mindboggling proportions, already. Only reason she was called in is because my coworker and I picked 5 each and she was one of my coworker's 5. We have 15 interviews next week. I had one lady call and cuss me out for not calling her earlier and then start going on about how she deserves that job. FYI - the second you call me "bitch" or "kiddo", the process is over for you. I might be younger than you but I will be your boss so, yanno, you might not want to act like you're so much better than me.

Current Mood: crazy

My fucking puss-sack little nephews got me sick. I can't even swallow, my throat is too sore. I'm completely congested, coughing, sneezing and have watery eyes. *shakes impotent fist of rage*

At work, we've started to receive resumes for the open position in my office. One resume, so far, takes the cake. It states: when you hire me, I expect higher pay because I have to work with you dog killers. I'm sorry but wtf? Multiple problems with this. 1.) WHEN?! Way to assume, buddy. 2.) Salary demands already? and 25 bucks an hour? For a part time entry level position? 3.) Dog Killers? Way to insult the reviewing/hiring people.

The sad bit, this looks to be a real resume and a real application. I called their previous employer (been unemployed since 2007, gee, I wonder why) and they said this guy is for real, he's this psycho (not in those words but as close as they could be without risking a lawsuit).

*puts on trash pile*

The first day the resumes were being accepted was yesterday. We received 40 resumes. For a part time position that pays 10/hour. 40. Now I know the economy is in the crapper as the previous two times we opened this job up (at least once a year for the past 5 years), we've gotten maybe 5 resumes each time. And that's when the position was full-time with benefits.

Current Mood: I want my own Bones

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All the RomCom of Qi Xi

I'll be the goatherd to your princess

Entries tagged with hiring and firing

These things do not go together

Adventures in Hiring v2.0

I stole this icon and I'm not at all ashamed

Catch all

Sick and Work

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January 2012

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