(no subject)

[wook77]

I gleefully admit I'm addicted to romance novels. At one point, before I culled my book collection, I had over a thousand of them. I loved the cheesiness of most of them, the blatant conventional ways of people hooking up and the cheesy euphemisms.

What I want to know from you all is..... if you've read romance novels (enjoying them or not), what's the cheesiest thing that the hero/heroine has done to court the other?

If you have or haven't... what's the cheesiest thing you've heard about in real life to court someone else? I'm not asking for horrible pick up lines, but things like buying flowers and chocolates, "riding a horse cross the country because ZOMG she left and you realised that you loved her after she stepped on the train and you just missed the train" and that sort of thing.

I'm counting on you, flist. Give it to me.

Cheesy, silly, actually romantic... what all are some courtship rituals you've read/experienced/heard about?

why yes, this might be for a fic, why do you ask?

Comments

[albur.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I'm a Shirlee Busbee fan, and she's the best historical romance author I've read imo. A lot of her stuff is genius, but I have to admit I had to put my head in my hands when I saw the name of the leading man in Tiger Lily. Brett Dangermond has to be the worst name ever.

Concerning worst scenarios though? Hmm, nothing too specific but Cassie Edwards (one of the worst historical romance authors I've read) said the following in one of her books:

Zach saw her, her blonde tresses blowing artfully in the breeze, her bosoms flowering above her corset and he knew then that he wanted her, with a passion he had never felt before for any woman.

...LATER (actually, about 30 lines later)

Eden saw him, his jaw thrust up in a way that spoke of the strength in him, watching his sapphire eyes light up in the sun and she knew then that she wanted him, loved him, more than she had loved any man in her life, even her own father...


*throws up in a bucket*

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Cassie Edwards is horrible but you know who I think is the worst? Norah Hess, they're painful, just absolutely painful. She does the traditional bosum bearing lovescenes where the hero rips open the bodice of the heroine and there's always some trumped up crap that's the same in all of them. When I purged books, I finally got rid of my Cassie Edwards and Norah Hess and felt a bit better about everything *winks*.

I have this fondness for crappy western ones especially where the white girl falls for the indian dude and there's always one ZOMGRACIST guy who's her brother/father/uncle/cousin/former flame and the rest of the town supports them, etc.

I'll keep that in mind though... those images make me giggle.

[ficlette.livejournal.com]

A close friend of mine was trying to win over this stupid bint girl we both knew, and so he came up with the FOOLPROOF PLAN of naming a star after her.

He spends $50, gets this cheap certificate with a cartoon star on it and a map to find the one he 'bought'.



I think they lasted about two months, tops. Poor guy.

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Too frikken classic! The funniest thing is that whole thing is a rip-off. They don't name the star anything at all, it's never actually going to happen.

I love it! LOVE IT!

[orange-bastard.livejournal.com]

I still read romance novels from time to time. I used to read loads. I can't think of a particular cheesy moment, but a few books I've read (written in the 70's) had these uber-asshole-machismo men in them, doing rather cruel things to the women, and they all profess their love for each other at the end.

For example, in this one book, the couple made love alot...it was a marriage of necessity or something, and she was reluctant at first, but grew to enjoy it, although she'd always complain to the guy he was taking advantage of her. So then, he gets real rough and basically rapes her. "now you know the difference" he said. I mean, WTF?!!! Yeah, rape is real romantic...

[wook77.livejournal.com]

I have one Silhoutte book that I kept during the great purge of romance novels and it's from the 70's and has that. It's this greek tycoon and he practically rapes the girl who's also his secretary and she's all "Now I realise how much I love you! Thank you for totally forcing me to have sex with you!". It's total cheeseball and I kept it to remind me of how NOT to write a lovestory.