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wook77Title: Untitled
Fandom: KOTOR (Knights of the Old Republic)
Pairing: Implied FLS Revan/Carth
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 503
Warnings: Angst
Summary: She doesn't want to be like this, doesn't want to want what she can't have.
A/N: I've been *meh* about writing so I tested myself by seeing what I could write in 15 minutes. This is the result. Self-beta'd.
She doesn't want to be like this. She doesn't want to long for something that should be beyond her grasp. She doesn't want to want what she can't have.
But she does. Every morning she wakes up and she's still on this horrible planet out beyond the Rim, looking for memories that haven't surfaced yet. She's sure that there's something here that she needs to remember, something that will help solve just what it was that Revan (it's still hard to call herself by her original name. She much prefers the other one) and Malak were up to and why they turned so completely to the Darkside.
All she wants is to be back on the Ebon Hawk, secure in her bunk and listening to Bastila's snoring as she drifts off to sleep remembering that awkwardly flirtatious conversation with Carth. It's selfish and she knows it's of the darkside. She just doesn't much care as the memory of his stuttering admission that he thinks he might be falling in love with her if he isn't already and he isn't sure but it's painful and yet it isn't so if she would just say something, do something, already please, is what keeps her rolling out of her hard bunk and tracking down ribbons of memory.
She hasn't sent him any sort of communication since she left with a note placed on her pillow in the bed they'd shared. She'd slipped out like a thief in the night because she knew she was weak and had Carth even opened his mouth to say anything, she would've retracted her words and stayed.
That would've been the worst thing she could've done what with the rumors of the Sith attacking the Council and wiping them out. She worries about her friends, about Juhani and Jolee and, to her surprise, Bastila. She hasn't heard any names and she doesn't think she will but she still worries. The worry that she is responsible for training these Sith drives her to work herself into the ground as she hops from planet to planet.
It's what she's doing now though she misses T4 and the Ebon Hawk. She'd sent the Hawk back under T4's piloting because it had become too much of liability, more than she'd ever thought. Stupid holonet broadcasting the ship that destroyed the Star Forge and ruining her mission and her comfort. She's left with this decrepit bucket of bolts that pretended to be a ship instead of a ship where the memories of her friends walking around (Jolee in the medbay and Canderous always playing around with his weapons in the one bay while Juhani trained and Bastila meditated).
She misses the scent of Carth on her sheets and in her pillow.
She just wants to be back there with them instead of running around out in the unknown tracking down her past. She doesn't want to be here but the sooner she gets on with her task, the sooner she'll have the real thing with her.
As always, I'd love to hear what you think.
Fandom: KOTOR (Knights of the Old Republic)
Pairing: Implied FLS Revan/Carth
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 503
Warnings: Angst
Summary: She doesn't want to be like this, doesn't want to want what she can't have.
A/N: I've been *meh* about writing so I tested myself by seeing what I could write in 15 minutes. This is the result. Self-beta'd.
She doesn't want to be like this. She doesn't want to long for something that should be beyond her grasp. She doesn't want to want what she can't have.
But she does. Every morning she wakes up and she's still on this horrible planet out beyond the Rim, looking for memories that haven't surfaced yet. She's sure that there's something here that she needs to remember, something that will help solve just what it was that Revan (it's still hard to call herself by her original name. She much prefers the other one) and Malak were up to and why they turned so completely to the Darkside.
All she wants is to be back on the Ebon Hawk, secure in her bunk and listening to Bastila's snoring as she drifts off to sleep remembering that awkwardly flirtatious conversation with Carth. It's selfish and she knows it's of the darkside. She just doesn't much care as the memory of his stuttering admission that he thinks he might be falling in love with her if he isn't already and he isn't sure but it's painful and yet it isn't so if she would just say something, do something, already please, is what keeps her rolling out of her hard bunk and tracking down ribbons of memory.
She hasn't sent him any sort of communication since she left with a note placed on her pillow in the bed they'd shared. She'd slipped out like a thief in the night because she knew she was weak and had Carth even opened his mouth to say anything, she would've retracted her words and stayed.
That would've been the worst thing she could've done what with the rumors of the Sith attacking the Council and wiping them out. She worries about her friends, about Juhani and Jolee and, to her surprise, Bastila. She hasn't heard any names and she doesn't think she will but she still worries. The worry that she is responsible for training these Sith drives her to work herself into the ground as she hops from planet to planet.
It's what she's doing now though she misses T4 and the Ebon Hawk. She'd sent the Hawk back under T4's piloting because it had become too much of liability, more than she'd ever thought. Stupid holonet broadcasting the ship that destroyed the Star Forge and ruining her mission and her comfort. She's left with this decrepit bucket of bolts that pretended to be a ship instead of a ship where the memories of her friends walking around (Jolee in the medbay and Canderous always playing around with his weapons in the one bay while Juhani trained and Bastila meditated).
She misses the scent of Carth on her sheets and in her pillow.
She just wants to be back there with them instead of running around out in the unknown tracking down her past. She doesn't want to be here but the sooner she gets on with her task, the sooner she'll have the real thing with her.
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 01:15 am (UTC)So in conclusion, YOU RULE, and I am screwed up with the angst of it right now. I need to go read fic where they get together and live happily ever after to make up for it :P That is how good this is.
So no more being *meh* about writing ;) Cause if you do that, we don't get your writing! And that makes me do this face - :(
no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 05:40 pm (UTC)YAYES for that! I'm glad you liked it, especially as I've been fairly blocked lately. I need to go check in to KFM now and try to find some new stuff to read, as well!
I'm doing my best to not be *meh* but we'll see. Also - no sad faces!!!!!
*uses HK icon to match yours*
no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 06:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 05:44 pm (UTC)I'm really glad that admission worked for you because it seemed so carth for me.
I LOVE your icon!