Resolution Review - m/m works
Mar. 19th, 2009 08:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wook77Desire Beyond Death - It's an all right collection of short stories but, honestly, I'd have to give it a 4 out of 10 overall but that's mainly cause there's one good story (a 9 out of 10), one 7 out of 10, two 6 out of 10s and one -abillion out of 10. The cost was 12 bucks which, imho, was way too much money for this level of dreck. The largest story in it was the most painful story I've read in awhile and, trust me, I've read some real losers lately. There's no basis for the "main" relationship. It's just random "a ghost made me fuck you so now I love you". I should've known as it turns out that the author of this horrible piece of random hook-up was this author. I should've known and never bought the work.
You only think I'm kidding you about the gay ghost made them fuck so now they're in love. But, really, a gay ghost makes them fuck. Multiple times. So they figure out that they're in love in a poorly written dream sequence.
Instead, I soldiered on as everyone was gay (except for the token straight guy that bites it in a reversal of the annoying "kill or cure" thing). Srsly. Everyone was gay. There's the owner of the company who's gay. There's the gay psychic. There's the gay vicar. There's the gay linguist. There's the gay explosives guy. There's the gay lord of the manor. There's the gay secretary of the lord of the manor who is also the gay owner's ex-boyfriend who cheated on him with another random gay character. There're the gay murder victims. There's the gay revenant who fucks the gay murder victims until they die so he can absorb their "life force [yes, this is a euphemism for come]". There's the gay magus. There're the gay evil dead knight assistant dudes. There's the gay police officer that rescued the gay psychic back when the gay psychic was 12 but then he experienced the hatred that all straight people have for gays and he was forced to a random island in Wales. There's the probably gay medium guy. There's the straight business partner.
There's random character death. Let's kill the straight guy for maximum emotional impact, except let's fail at that, too! Let's kill the gay explosives guy cause we just told you he's the lover of the gay linguist and he just told the gay linguist he loved him! WOOHOO! More emotional trauma for everyone!
It's ok, though, cause the five people that live at the end, who never had any sort of emotional connection (except that an evil ghost made two of them fuck. over and over and over. And everyone knows that fucking due to gay, evil ghosts is proof of twu wuv) all pair or threesome off. The gay lord hooks up with the linguist and the gay police officer. Even though they'd barely spoken in the story at all. No, seriously, they have like maybe one or two exchanges with one another and absolutely no intimacy at all. They're alone once together, for fuck's sake, and that's to discuss the nightmares the evil gay, dead knight henchmen made them experience.
But wait! There's more! Some random woman dies and gives them her baby who is totes the savior of the world and is going to, in the next two generations, eliminate the fear of death so that we can all live happily ever after and die happily ever after.
Did I mention the randomly lubricating ass? I think I forgot until right now. But since they're in the afterlife, Tristan (the gay psychic) has a magically lubricating ass.
So, um, yeah, I read it so you didn't have to.
The other four stories in the collection were all right. Nothing to write home about. The best one was by Madeleine Urban (a new favorite author) and featured a lovely couple. Two of the others had no obvious pairing in them, no romance really except for a random kiss or two. Another had a randomly lubricating ass, too. "Sink into the wetness" is not a phrase that should ever be used with a man's ass.
The Huntsmen: Bareback - The book features a paranormal twist - every huntsmen is born with a twin and they have to hook up with the same woman to have more twin barebacks. I've not read the others in this series and, honestly, I'm not planning on reading them. However, I did try this one as it features a guy whose twin died and he's alone, thus a bareback. They also feed off the sexual energy of others (one scene has the bareback kid walking past a group of teens and feeds off their energies even though they're only dancing in the streets and, well, ok, there's a girl taking off her shirt).
I liked that the one character, who'd previously only thought of himself as straight, had some qualms but, unfortunately, they were squashed under the great big happy of the magical schlong of the bareback. In the end, the lack of exploration of what it means for a late-twenties/early thirties man to suddenly discover that he's gay was completely lost and unaddressed due to the schlong. The writing was good, for the most part but I came away disappointed in this one as I'd read that it was a good one. 6 out of 10
Lovers, Dreamers and Me This one was another "meh" read for me. The main character thinks he's asexual, his sister plays matchmaker with another dude, there's the gay baker next door in love with the main character and random emotional issues. Did I mention that the matchmakee is a gay psychic who can see the future? But he keeps blanking out everytime the main character decides that he's too scared to continue his relationship.
In the end, I came away with the "meh" feeling on this one. It could've been good but, unfortunately, it's nothing to write home about and definitely not something worth buying unless you're in a "anything will do" mood. 6 out of 10
A Note in the Margin Like the above title, this one features a gay bookstore owner. Unlike the above one, however, this story takes the time for an emotional connection. The main character is a complete asshole at the beginning but, eventually, he comes around.
The love interest is the homeless guy who hangs out in the bookstore. It's lovely to see the homeless guy start to heal his emotional issues and cope with not being homeless any longer in a believable fashion. The bookstore owner also deals with his issues, too. They're not perfect and that makes the story so much better.
At first, little things annoyed me. The assistant in the bookstore felt like a "let's make everyone gay" but, after reading the above dreck, I take that back. The supporting cast are all nicely fleshed out but there's some dropped plot threads that I wasn't impressed with having them drop as they seemed very important (bookstore dude was a Really Important Accountant and didn't plan on keeping the bookstore. Suddenly, with very little explanation (and that boils down to "i like the homeless guy's cock"), he decides to leave his job and nothing more is said about it or the bookstore guy's girlfriend). But, the story stuck with me as I thought about how they ended up falling in love. So, it's a definite rec from me.9.5 out of 10
I Heart That City: Razzle Dazzle The cut text really sums this up. WTF was that and why did I pay that much for it? It's supposedly features a D/s relationship except it doesn't IMHO. It plays at having one but it doesn't actually have one. It's got two unlikeable characters in it, the egotistical bartender and the domineering, err, businessman? I think he's supposed to be a businessman. Also - the bartender communicates through mixing speshul drinks for everyone. He's passive aggressive and gives people what he thinks they need rather than what they want. If he did that to my drink order, I wouldn't "love him" for it. I'd be all "I didn't order the fucking expensive shit so you'd better not be fucking expecting me to fucking well pay for it". 3 out of 10
Tigers and Devils This was a very enjoyable and emotionally satisfying read. It features a footie superstar who is injured. The regular guy puts his foot in his mouth, ends up then putting his tongue in the footie star's mouth and away they go. It's got believable reactions to the traditional coming out story, especially for a footie star. It's got believable family reactions, as well. Not everyone is a-ok with suddenly having a queer family member and I'm all right with that, as much as I might like to think that, someday, it won't be a BFD to have a queer family member or friend.
I loved this story. I really thought the way that the pair of them work together is just perfect and their responses are believable. They aren't suddenly cured of communication issues or problems. Not everyone appreciates them. There are some belieavable struggles. In the end, this is one book I know I'll go back to, again and again.10 out of 10 (I wish I could give it more)
Playing Dirty Words fail on this one. Srsly painful read. Random hookups, stereotypical gay characters (and not in a good way). It's basically one random sex scene after another. They're both emo little whiny bitches that I want to smack over and over and over preferably with a two by four or a car. They have random gay orgies, are instantly in lurve cause of the gay schlong. They fuck anything and everything on three legs (oh yeah, I went there). If this were a real book instead of an e-book, I would've not only thrown it against the wall, I would've ripped it up into tiny pieces and used it as litter for my ferret and then force fed it to the author. It's bad. Really really bad and not in a sporkable way. negative a billion out of 10. Or, since I can't go that low, 1 out of 10.
Caught Running - This was a brilliant read. The characters are fun and likable. The story is believable. It's just an overall awesome read. I didn't have any quibbles with it, I loved how they came together, how they danced around one another before finally hooking up, how their friends reacted, how they coped with the issues of being gay and coaching boys baseball. I loved basically everything about this story. 10 out of 10
Wes and Toran - This is a stereotypical woman writing gay men story. The boys are chicks with dicks. They cry. A lot. They emo and obsess and act like drama queens a lot. They have these overly emotional and feminine reactions to, like, everything. Also - there's a scene that the one kid, who's in biology or chemistry class or something, ends up having to swab his cheek and, lo and behold, there are sperms swimming around on the slide. Um, ew? I don't loathe this book as much as I loathed a few above but, honestly, this isn't worth a buck let alone the 6 bucks I paid for it. Avoid at all costs unless you really really like chicks with dicks. At least it didn't have a magically lubricating ass and that's a bad thing that that's the most positive that I can come up with. 2 out of 10
Realms of Fantasy My reaction to the book can be summed up with "lulz". This book features angels and demons getting it on and omg, LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Poorly written but sporkable. OMG. SRSLY OMG LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. It's got forked tongues, penetrative sex without preparation (it's ok! They're angels and demons! Their asses magically stretch to allow the gigantic peniseseses (penii?) in! And they are ALL gigantic peniseseseseseseses cause they're angels and demons, beotches! No self-respecting angel or demon would ever be caught with a small weewee). All Powerful and Amazing Angels getting the shit kicked out of them by lesser demons. Rent boy demons (omg, lol. omg omgomgomgomgomg LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Just typing that makes me cackle). There are soulbonds a plenty, some D/s creator fallen angel on creation demon. Seriously, this reads like the worst creature feature fanfiction with the names changedto protect the innocent. I'm just disappointed there weren't multiple mpregs in there because then this book would've beat out my favoritestest piece of fanfiction ever. But as it is, it's a close second. 3 out of 10
You only think I'm kidding you about the gay ghost made them fuck so now they're in love. But, really, a gay ghost makes them fuck. Multiple times. So they figure out that they're in love in a poorly written dream sequence.
Instead, I soldiered on as everyone was gay (except for the token straight guy that bites it in a reversal of the annoying "kill or cure" thing). Srsly. Everyone was gay. There's the owner of the company who's gay. There's the gay psychic. There's the gay vicar. There's the gay linguist. There's the gay explosives guy. There's the gay lord of the manor. There's the gay secretary of the lord of the manor who is also the gay owner's ex-boyfriend who cheated on him with another random gay character. There're the gay murder victims. There's the gay revenant who fucks the gay murder victims until they die so he can absorb their "life force [yes, this is a euphemism for come]". There's the gay magus. There're the gay evil dead knight assistant dudes. There's the gay police officer that rescued the gay psychic back when the gay psychic was 12 but then he experienced the hatred that all straight people have for gays and he was forced to a random island in Wales. There's the probably gay medium guy. There's the straight business partner.
There's random character death. Let's kill the straight guy for maximum emotional impact, except let's fail at that, too! Let's kill the gay explosives guy cause we just told you he's the lover of the gay linguist and he just told the gay linguist he loved him! WOOHOO! More emotional trauma for everyone!
It's ok, though, cause the five people that live at the end, who never had any sort of emotional connection (except that an evil ghost made two of them fuck. over and over and over. And everyone knows that fucking due to gay, evil ghosts is proof of twu wuv) all pair or threesome off. The gay lord hooks up with the linguist and the gay police officer. Even though they'd barely spoken in the story at all. No, seriously, they have like maybe one or two exchanges with one another and absolutely no intimacy at all. They're alone once together, for fuck's sake, and that's to discuss the nightmares the evil gay, dead knight henchmen made them experience.
But wait! There's more! Some random woman dies and gives them her baby who is totes the savior of the world and is going to, in the next two generations, eliminate the fear of death so that we can all live happily ever after and die happily ever after.
Did I mention the randomly lubricating ass? I think I forgot until right now. But since they're in the afterlife, Tristan (the gay psychic) has a magically lubricating ass.
So, um, yeah, I read it so you didn't have to.
The other four stories in the collection were all right. Nothing to write home about. The best one was by Madeleine Urban (a new favorite author) and featured a lovely couple. Two of the others had no obvious pairing in them, no romance really except for a random kiss or two. Another had a randomly lubricating ass, too. "Sink into the wetness" is not a phrase that should ever be used with a man's ass.
The Huntsmen: Bareback - The book features a paranormal twist - every huntsmen is born with a twin and they have to hook up with the same woman to have more twin barebacks. I've not read the others in this series and, honestly, I'm not planning on reading them. However, I did try this one as it features a guy whose twin died and he's alone, thus a bareback. They also feed off the sexual energy of others (one scene has the bareback kid walking past a group of teens and feeds off their energies even though they're only dancing in the streets and, well, ok, there's a girl taking off her shirt).
I liked that the one character, who'd previously only thought of himself as straight, had some qualms but, unfortunately, they were squashed under the great big happy of the magical schlong of the bareback. In the end, the lack of exploration of what it means for a late-twenties/early thirties man to suddenly discover that he's gay was completely lost and unaddressed due to the schlong. The writing was good, for the most part but I came away disappointed in this one as I'd read that it was a good one. 6 out of 10
Lovers, Dreamers and Me This one was another "meh" read for me. The main character thinks he's asexual, his sister plays matchmaker with another dude, there's the gay baker next door in love with the main character and random emotional issues. Did I mention that the matchmakee is a gay psychic who can see the future? But he keeps blanking out everytime the main character decides that he's too scared to continue his relationship.
In the end, I came away with the "meh" feeling on this one. It could've been good but, unfortunately, it's nothing to write home about and definitely not something worth buying unless you're in a "anything will do" mood. 6 out of 10
A Note in the Margin Like the above title, this one features a gay bookstore owner. Unlike the above one, however, this story takes the time for an emotional connection. The main character is a complete asshole at the beginning but, eventually, he comes around.
The love interest is the homeless guy who hangs out in the bookstore. It's lovely to see the homeless guy start to heal his emotional issues and cope with not being homeless any longer in a believable fashion. The bookstore owner also deals with his issues, too. They're not perfect and that makes the story so much better.
At first, little things annoyed me. The assistant in the bookstore felt like a "let's make everyone gay" but, after reading the above dreck, I take that back. The supporting cast are all nicely fleshed out but there's some dropped plot threads that I wasn't impressed with having them drop as they seemed very important (bookstore dude was a Really Important Accountant and didn't plan on keeping the bookstore. Suddenly, with very little explanation (and that boils down to "i like the homeless guy's cock"), he decides to leave his job and nothing more is said about it or the bookstore guy's girlfriend). But, the story stuck with me as I thought about how they ended up falling in love. So, it's a definite rec from me.9.5 out of 10
I Heart That City: Razzle Dazzle The cut text really sums this up. WTF was that and why did I pay that much for it? It's supposedly features a D/s relationship except it doesn't IMHO. It plays at having one but it doesn't actually have one. It's got two unlikeable characters in it, the egotistical bartender and the domineering, err, businessman? I think he's supposed to be a businessman. Also - the bartender communicates through mixing speshul drinks for everyone. He's passive aggressive and gives people what he thinks they need rather than what they want. If he did that to my drink order, I wouldn't "love him" for it. I'd be all "I didn't order the fucking expensive shit so you'd better not be fucking expecting me to fucking well pay for it". 3 out of 10
Tigers and Devils This was a very enjoyable and emotionally satisfying read. It features a footie superstar who is injured. The regular guy puts his foot in his mouth, ends up then putting his tongue in the footie star's mouth and away they go. It's got believable reactions to the traditional coming out story, especially for a footie star. It's got believable family reactions, as well. Not everyone is a-ok with suddenly having a queer family member and I'm all right with that, as much as I might like to think that, someday, it won't be a BFD to have a queer family member or friend.
I loved this story. I really thought the way that the pair of them work together is just perfect and their responses are believable. They aren't suddenly cured of communication issues or problems. Not everyone appreciates them. There are some belieavable struggles. In the end, this is one book I know I'll go back to, again and again.10 out of 10 (I wish I could give it more)
Playing Dirty Words fail on this one. Srsly painful read. Random hookups, stereotypical gay characters (and not in a good way). It's basically one random sex scene after another. They're both emo little whiny bitches that I want to smack over and over and over preferably with a two by four or a car. They have random gay orgies, are instantly in lurve cause of the gay schlong. They fuck anything and everything on three legs (oh yeah, I went there). If this were a real book instead of an e-book, I would've not only thrown it against the wall, I would've ripped it up into tiny pieces and used it as litter for my ferret and then force fed it to the author. It's bad. Really really bad and not in a sporkable way. negative a billion out of 10. Or, since I can't go that low, 1 out of 10.
Caught Running - This was a brilliant read. The characters are fun and likable. The story is believable. It's just an overall awesome read. I didn't have any quibbles with it, I loved how they came together, how they danced around one another before finally hooking up, how their friends reacted, how they coped with the issues of being gay and coaching boys baseball. I loved basically everything about this story. 10 out of 10
Wes and Toran - This is a stereotypical woman writing gay men story. The boys are chicks with dicks. They cry. A lot. They emo and obsess and act like drama queens a lot. They have these overly emotional and feminine reactions to, like, everything. Also - there's a scene that the one kid, who's in biology or chemistry class or something, ends up having to swab his cheek and, lo and behold, there are sperms swimming around on the slide. Um, ew? I don't loathe this book as much as I loathed a few above but, honestly, this isn't worth a buck let alone the 6 bucks I paid for it. Avoid at all costs unless you really really like chicks with dicks. At least it didn't have a magically lubricating ass and that's a bad thing that that's the most positive that I can come up with. 2 out of 10
Realms of Fantasy My reaction to the book can be summed up with "lulz". This book features angels and demons getting it on and omg, LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Poorly written but sporkable. OMG. SRSLY OMG LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. It's got forked tongues, penetrative sex without preparation (it's ok! They're angels and demons! Their asses magically stretch to allow the gigantic peniseseses (penii?) in! And they are ALL gigantic peniseseseseseseses cause they're angels and demons, beotches! No self-respecting angel or demon would ever be caught with a small weewee). All Powerful and Amazing Angels getting the shit kicked out of them by lesser demons. Rent boy demons (omg, lol. omg omgomgomgomgomg LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Just typing that makes me cackle). There are soulbonds a plenty, some D/s creator fallen angel on creation demon. Seriously, this reads like the worst creature feature fanfiction with the names changed
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no subject
Date: 2009-03-20 12:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-20 02:34 pm (UTC)It's totally addictive and, honestly, I have to keep reminding myself that I'm buying something because it totes reads like fic sometimes and I keep wanting to go back for more and just get them all. That's when I end up with shit like Desire Beyond Death and Realms of Fantasy.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-20 01:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-20 02:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-26 12:51 am (UTC)♥
no subject
Date: 2009-03-26 05:02 am (UTC)