Fic: What is (Dean/Seamus)
Apr. 21st, 2008 10:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wook77Title: What is
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wook77
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Dean/Seamus, Dean/Susan Bones
Rating: PG
Wordcount: ~1800
Warnings: Contains non-graphic het
Summary: Some things are worth fighting for, even if they're the things that won't make you the happiest.
Disclaimer: Not mine. No profit made or sought.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to my betas -why_me_why_not and nefernat. As always, remaining mistakes are my own. Originally written for miz_thang88 at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
slashfest for the prompt "some things are worth fighting for." I'm quite certain this isn't what she wanted but this is what she got :D.
Dean's on one knee with one hand upraised towards Seamus and a plaintive look on his face. Seamus's heart seizes, just about freezes so that his hands, feet, lips go numb at the sight of the ring in the velvet box held out beseechingly towards him.
"Well, Seamus?" Dean asks and Seamus's hand shakes as he reaches out and takes the box. This moment has been a long time coming.
~~**~~
They're eleven and on the train. Seamus and Neville are getting a game of Exploding Snap ready before the train pulls out of the station when Dean bursts in with his trunk.
"Do you have a seat open?" He asks while the whistle blows and the train lurches, sending him off kilter.
"Aye, yeah. Wanna play Snap?" Seamus asks.
"What's that?" Dean asks while he muscles the trunk up. Judging by the way he's doing it without magic, Seamus can tell that he's completely Muggleborn.
"Here," Seamus says and pulls out his brand new wand. A swish, and then a flick and the trunk doesn't move. Seamus looks at his wand and then at the trunk again. Another swish and another flick and the trunk still doesn't levitate. Seamus taps the wand against his palm a couple of times, tries the spell one more time and fails at it again. Sighing, he stands and helps Dean to heave it up over their heads.
Neville stands to help as they both go tilting backwards and a toad leaps from his lap. Considering that Dean hadn't shut the door, Trevor goes leaping out and Seamus yelps as Neville pushes into him and all three fall into a tangle with the trunk barely missing them as it falls, too.
"Trevor!" Neville yells as he stands and then heads out the door. He's back in a second, poking his head around the edge of the door. "Would you help me get him back? Please?"
"Aye," Seamus agrees while rubbing his elbow that hit the floor. He stands up and then offers a hand to Dean who's still sort of gobsmacked. "Wanna help?"
"Sure," Dean says and when he places his hand in Seamus's for the help, Seamus could swear that he hears the choir of angels from Heaven above singing. It's kismet, this is, and Seamus decides right then and there that they are always going to be best mates.
~~**~~
Seamus can't stand the Owls anymore. He doesn't know which is worse – the silence from Dean and the worry that swamps him because of it or the depressing Owls that do nothing but depress him in kind. Either way, Seamus worries over Dean and turns progressively more bitter towards his mam for making him go back to Hogwarts.
The news that Ted Tonks died and Dean's missing sends him over the edge. A scathing Owl to his mother severs their relationship. Another Owl to Dean – one that comes back over and over – makes him do some rather reckless things. The beatings and the pain from the Cruciatus Curse is more than worth it, though, because it means that he's doing what he can to avenge Dean if Dean's really dead. Which he can't be. He can't because Seamus can't possibly bear that as the reality of his life.
When Luna and Dean send a message with Luna's coin, Seamus's heart feels like it's going to explode with happiness. He doesn't care that he's bruised and battered, that Neville had to get up in the middle of the night to walk him to the loo because his kidneys took a right pounding. He's started recovering when Harry shows up. When Dean walks in, Seamus doesn't even notice the way that Dean's walking so close to her.
All he can see is Dean and, with a great roar of delight, he runs over and embraces Dean, pushing his nose into Dean's chest and inhaling deeply. Dean smells like home to Seamus and that's enough to carry him through the handholding and Dean's protectiveness towards Luna.
It's only when Seamus sees Dean snogging Luna two weeks after the Battle that Seamus realises that Dean should be doing that to him, not to Luna. His heart twists but it doesn't matter, it doesn't because they're all safe and together.
~~**~~
The flat is fairly small with the thinnest walls ever so Seamus can hear every time that Dean wanks. Every. Sodding. Time. Seamus wanks with him and pretends that it's Dean's hand on him. It's Dean's large skinny-fingered hands and not Seamus's small blunt fingers pinching his nipple or pulling on his cock. It's Dean pressing a finger into his arse, even as Seamus arches and fumbles to get his finger deep enough.
Dean comes with a smothered cry and Seamus does the same, moments afterwards. As he cleans himself, Seamus wonders if maybe Dean thinks the same thing while they're wanking, if he can hear Seamus and wonders what Seamus's hands feel like on his skin.
Each morning after, Seamus wonders if now is the right time to pursue this obsession. Should he or shouldn't he? He really should, shouldn't he? Dean's blushing and looking at him and Seamus doesn't flush because he knows that now is the right time so he sits next to Dean and touches his ankle to Dean's.
Dean leaps away from the table and runs into his room without a backwards glance. Seamus stares after him, completely lost.
~~**~~
Dean's in the kitchen cooking. He's humming, too. Boggled, Seamus walks in and asks just what the occasion is. Dean turns and tells him all about Susan Bones. About how her hair shines and the way she walks – a little swishswish to her hips, about her smile and the way that she always laughs at his jokes. "This might be the one," he says and Seamus's heart – already fragile and fractured – breaks right there in the kitchen of their flat.
Seamus has discouraged Dean from every other girl that's come before but there's something about the way that Dean smiles whenever he says Susan's name that makes Seamus hesitate. By the time Seamus realises just how gone Dean is over her, it's too late.
~~**~~
Susan Bones makes Dean happy who makes Seamus happy. Thus, when they start fighting, Seamus talks to Susan, listens to her and shuts away the broken-hearted prick part of himself that is giddy with the thought that maybe now, Dean will see how very much Seamus loves Dean. Instead, he listens to her talk about why they fought and then he goes to Dean and tells him to shape up or he's going to lose out on the best thing that's ever happened to him, aside from Seamus himself. He rails at Dean, shouting something about how Dean's fucking up the second best thing to ever fucking well happen to him, for fuck's sake.
"Second best?" Dean asks.
"Me, you gobshite," Seamus responds and they both laugh it off, even if Seamus has to force it. It's this moment, when Seamus could have told Dean just how he feels, that haunts Seamus.
~~**~~
"I'd like to kill him."
"Course you do."
"I don't know what I see him in."
"Course you do."
"He annoys the shite out of me. He's always on about football and art and his head's in the clouds half the time. I can't get him to pay any sort of attention to me when he's painting. I really can't stand him."
"Course you do."
"I love him."
"Course you do."
~~**~~
They meet for coffee every Thursday. It's not like they don't both work in the Ministry, after all. Some, if they knew Seamus's secret, would think that they were an odd couple. There's Susan, the girlfriend, the love of Dean's life. There's Seamus, the best friend, the roommate.
Dean forgot Susan's birthday so Seamus appeases her, cajoles her and buys Dean some time to think of some way of making it up to her. He wonders, for a moment, why the hell he would fight to keep them together. Then he sees the way that Susan melts in front of him, gets soft and dreamy, as she talks about how she misses the romance of their first dates.
Later, when Seamus is talking to Dean about why Susan's so pissed at him, Seamus sees the way that Dean melts, gets soft and dreamy, as he ponders ways to bring back the magic of those first dates. It's then that the realisation sneaks up on him that some things are worth fighting for, even if they aren't the things that would make you the happiest. Susan makes Dean happy who makes Seamus happy.
~~**~~
"You love him."
"Course I do."
"No, Seamus, you love him."
"Course I do."
~~**~~
The ring is beautiful, stunning in its simplicity. Seamus tamps down on that prick part of himself as he stares at it, tilting it this way and that. The way that the small diamond catches the light just so; the tasteful, simple setting, the white gold, all of it is completely and totally Susan. Dean's got it right.
This is goodbye to that small, niggling hope that Dean might someday see how much Seamus loves him. Seamus hands the box back to Dean and says, voice shaking, "Wouldn't marry you if you offered me millions of Galleons."
"Fuck off, mate. Like I'd have you anyway," Dean says with a bright smile before standing. They're close enough together that the temptation to finally figure out – fifteen years, four months and six days (three hours and sixteen minutes, but who's counting?) after they met – swamps him.
"Yeah, I know," Seamus says back. He reaches a hand up and touches Dean's cheek. Dean holds on to his hand, pressing it firmly against his cheek and then turns his face to press a kiss to it. Seamus's heart goes soft and dreamy and he pulls his hand away and curls his fingers in to his palm to retain the feeling of those lips on his hand.
"She'll say 'yes', no worries on that. You love each other and deserve to be happy." It's said without any irony or bitterness.
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," Dean echoes an earlier conversation. Seamus keeps the grin on his face and pushes his nails into his palm.
"Course I am. But as you can't have me, you'll have to settle for Susan," Seamus says.
"I love you," Dean says, serious and sedate. "I know I sound like a bird but I love you."
"I know you do, mate, love you too." just not like you love me, a small voice adds but Seamus doesn't, won't give voice to it. It's not the most important thing right now.
As always, I'd love to hear what you thought.
Author:
wook77Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Dean/Seamus, Dean/Susan Bones
Rating: PG
Wordcount: ~1800
Warnings: Contains non-graphic het
Summary: Some things are worth fighting for, even if they're the things that won't make you the happiest.
Disclaimer: Not mine. No profit made or sought.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to my betas -
why_me_why_not and nefernat. As always, remaining mistakes are my own. Originally written for miz_thang88 at slashfest for the prompt "some things are worth fighting for." I'm quite certain this isn't what she wanted but this is what she got :D. Dean's on one knee with one hand upraised towards Seamus and a plaintive look on his face. Seamus's heart seizes, just about freezes so that his hands, feet, lips go numb at the sight of the ring in the velvet box held out beseechingly towards him.
"Well, Seamus?" Dean asks and Seamus's hand shakes as he reaches out and takes the box. This moment has been a long time coming.
They're eleven and on the train. Seamus and Neville are getting a game of Exploding Snap ready before the train pulls out of the station when Dean bursts in with his trunk.
"Do you have a seat open?" He asks while the whistle blows and the train lurches, sending him off kilter.
"Aye, yeah. Wanna play Snap?" Seamus asks.
"What's that?" Dean asks while he muscles the trunk up. Judging by the way he's doing it without magic, Seamus can tell that he's completely Muggleborn.
"Here," Seamus says and pulls out his brand new wand. A swish, and then a flick and the trunk doesn't move. Seamus looks at his wand and then at the trunk again. Another swish and another flick and the trunk still doesn't levitate. Seamus taps the wand against his palm a couple of times, tries the spell one more time and fails at it again. Sighing, he stands and helps Dean to heave it up over their heads.
Neville stands to help as they both go tilting backwards and a toad leaps from his lap. Considering that Dean hadn't shut the door, Trevor goes leaping out and Seamus yelps as Neville pushes into him and all three fall into a tangle with the trunk barely missing them as it falls, too.
"Trevor!" Neville yells as he stands and then heads out the door. He's back in a second, poking his head around the edge of the door. "Would you help me get him back? Please?"
"Aye," Seamus agrees while rubbing his elbow that hit the floor. He stands up and then offers a hand to Dean who's still sort of gobsmacked. "Wanna help?"
"Sure," Dean says and when he places his hand in Seamus's for the help, Seamus could swear that he hears the choir of angels from Heaven above singing. It's kismet, this is, and Seamus decides right then and there that they are always going to be best mates.
Seamus can't stand the Owls anymore. He doesn't know which is worse – the silence from Dean and the worry that swamps him because of it or the depressing Owls that do nothing but depress him in kind. Either way, Seamus worries over Dean and turns progressively more bitter towards his mam for making him go back to Hogwarts.
The news that Ted Tonks died and Dean's missing sends him over the edge. A scathing Owl to his mother severs their relationship. Another Owl to Dean – one that comes back over and over – makes him do some rather reckless things. The beatings and the pain from the Cruciatus Curse is more than worth it, though, because it means that he's doing what he can to avenge Dean if Dean's really dead. Which he can't be. He can't because Seamus can't possibly bear that as the reality of his life.
When Luna and Dean send a message with Luna's coin, Seamus's heart feels like it's going to explode with happiness. He doesn't care that he's bruised and battered, that Neville had to get up in the middle of the night to walk him to the loo because his kidneys took a right pounding. He's started recovering when Harry shows up. When Dean walks in, Seamus doesn't even notice the way that Dean's walking so close to her.
All he can see is Dean and, with a great roar of delight, he runs over and embraces Dean, pushing his nose into Dean's chest and inhaling deeply. Dean smells like home to Seamus and that's enough to carry him through the handholding and Dean's protectiveness towards Luna.
It's only when Seamus sees Dean snogging Luna two weeks after the Battle that Seamus realises that Dean should be doing that to him, not to Luna. His heart twists but it doesn't matter, it doesn't because they're all safe and together.
The flat is fairly small with the thinnest walls ever so Seamus can hear every time that Dean wanks. Every. Sodding. Time. Seamus wanks with him and pretends that it's Dean's hand on him. It's Dean's large skinny-fingered hands and not Seamus's small blunt fingers pinching his nipple or pulling on his cock. It's Dean pressing a finger into his arse, even as Seamus arches and fumbles to get his finger deep enough.
Dean comes with a smothered cry and Seamus does the same, moments afterwards. As he cleans himself, Seamus wonders if maybe Dean thinks the same thing while they're wanking, if he can hear Seamus and wonders what Seamus's hands feel like on his skin.
Each morning after, Seamus wonders if now is the right time to pursue this obsession. Should he or shouldn't he? He really should, shouldn't he? Dean's blushing and looking at him and Seamus doesn't flush because he knows that now is the right time so he sits next to Dean and touches his ankle to Dean's.
Dean leaps away from the table and runs into his room without a backwards glance. Seamus stares after him, completely lost.
Dean's in the kitchen cooking. He's humming, too. Boggled, Seamus walks in and asks just what the occasion is. Dean turns and tells him all about Susan Bones. About how her hair shines and the way she walks – a little swishswish to her hips, about her smile and the way that she always laughs at his jokes. "This might be the one," he says and Seamus's heart – already fragile and fractured – breaks right there in the kitchen of their flat.
Seamus has discouraged Dean from every other girl that's come before but there's something about the way that Dean smiles whenever he says Susan's name that makes Seamus hesitate. By the time Seamus realises just how gone Dean is over her, it's too late.
Susan Bones makes Dean happy who makes Seamus happy. Thus, when they start fighting, Seamus talks to Susan, listens to her and shuts away the broken-hearted prick part of himself that is giddy with the thought that maybe now, Dean will see how very much Seamus loves Dean. Instead, he listens to her talk about why they fought and then he goes to Dean and tells him to shape up or he's going to lose out on the best thing that's ever happened to him, aside from Seamus himself. He rails at Dean, shouting something about how Dean's fucking up the second best thing to ever fucking well happen to him, for fuck's sake.
"Second best?" Dean asks.
"Me, you gobshite," Seamus responds and they both laugh it off, even if Seamus has to force it. It's this moment, when Seamus could have told Dean just how he feels, that haunts Seamus.
"I'd like to kill him."
"Course you do."
"I don't know what I see him in."
"Course you do."
"He annoys the shite out of me. He's always on about football and art and his head's in the clouds half the time. I can't get him to pay any sort of attention to me when he's painting. I really can't stand him."
"Course you do."
"I love him."
"Course you do."
They meet for coffee every Thursday. It's not like they don't both work in the Ministry, after all. Some, if they knew Seamus's secret, would think that they were an odd couple. There's Susan, the girlfriend, the love of Dean's life. There's Seamus, the best friend, the roommate.
Dean forgot Susan's birthday so Seamus appeases her, cajoles her and buys Dean some time to think of some way of making it up to her. He wonders, for a moment, why the hell he would fight to keep them together. Then he sees the way that Susan melts in front of him, gets soft and dreamy, as she talks about how she misses the romance of their first dates.
Later, when Seamus is talking to Dean about why Susan's so pissed at him, Seamus sees the way that Dean melts, gets soft and dreamy, as he ponders ways to bring back the magic of those first dates. It's then that the realisation sneaks up on him that some things are worth fighting for, even if they aren't the things that would make you the happiest. Susan makes Dean happy who makes Seamus happy.
"You love him."
"Course I do."
"No, Seamus, you love him."
"Course I do."
The ring is beautiful, stunning in its simplicity. Seamus tamps down on that prick part of himself as he stares at it, tilting it this way and that. The way that the small diamond catches the light just so; the tasteful, simple setting, the white gold, all of it is completely and totally Susan. Dean's got it right.
This is goodbye to that small, niggling hope that Dean might someday see how much Seamus loves him. Seamus hands the box back to Dean and says, voice shaking, "Wouldn't marry you if you offered me millions of Galleons."
"Fuck off, mate. Like I'd have you anyway," Dean says with a bright smile before standing. They're close enough together that the temptation to finally figure out – fifteen years, four months and six days (three hours and sixteen minutes, but who's counting?) after they met – swamps him.
"Yeah, I know," Seamus says back. He reaches a hand up and touches Dean's cheek. Dean holds on to his hand, pressing it firmly against his cheek and then turns his face to press a kiss to it. Seamus's heart goes soft and dreamy and he pulls his hand away and curls his fingers in to his palm to retain the feeling of those lips on his hand.
"She'll say 'yes', no worries on that. You love each other and deserve to be happy." It's said without any irony or bitterness.
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," Dean echoes an earlier conversation. Seamus keeps the grin on his face and pushes his nails into his palm.
"Course I am. But as you can't have me, you'll have to settle for Susan," Seamus says.
"I love you," Dean says, serious and sedate. "I know I sound like a bird but I love you."
"I know you do, mate, love you too." just not like you love me, a small voice adds but Seamus doesn't, won't give voice to it. It's not the most important thing right now.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-04-21 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 09:04 pm (UTC)*hugs back*
no subject
Date: 2008-04-21 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 09:05 pm (UTC)Thank you for your comments!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-21 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 09:06 pm (UTC)Thank you so much for your comments!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-22 03:50 am (UTC)*loves*
no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-22 05:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-22 06:45 am (UTC)I've got goosebumps and tears in my eyes and I'm sad but not all at once.
I love Seamus in this, that he loves Dean so much and he's willing and wanting Dean to be happy--even though it breaks his own heart more than once.
Your voice here is fantastic. The Seamus and Susan conversations are very well done and the way that Seamus is so blase about the fact he loves Dean--fabulous.
I'm torn between hoping that she says no because Seamus is the glue holding them together and Seamus loves Dean and hoping that things work out.
~adopts Seamus~
Lovely, fantastic work.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 09:08 pm (UTC)The Seamus and Susan convos are where I wibbled. I've never done dialogue only so I thought it time to experiment. Each of those scenes have been tweaked so many times as I wibbled about whether to add scenery. In the end, I cut it all out again and left it as is.
THank you so much!!! ♥ you so much!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-22 12:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 09:09 pm (UTC)I'm so glad the "fill in the blanks" thing worked here because it's not my normal style and I wanted to experiment with style so much :D.
♥ Thank you for your, as always, lovely commentary!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-22 07:23 pm (UTC)Beautiful fic and a very good portrayal of unrequited love.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 09:10 pm (UTC)♥ Thank you so much. Unrequited is so much harder to write, isn't it? You really want the pair of them together so bad but you know that you can't do it. This one hurt to write.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 05:34 am (UTC)BTW, who is talking Seamus to? Himself?
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 06:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-22 09:47 pm (UTC)Seriously fantastic.
-Cassie.
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Date: 2008-04-23 09:11 pm (UTC)If you're looking for really awesome Dean/Seamus - you should check out
♥! Thanks so much for your lovely comments!
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Date: 2008-04-25 08:34 pm (UTC)xxx
no subject
Date: 2008-06-30 05:43 am (UTC)Well written but :( for Seamus *hugs him* .. :(
I wonder, when Dean ran after Seamus sat beside him and touched his ankles, did he run because he knew Seamus was going to tell him something and he didn't want to hear? ...Poor Seamus. But he was a best friend, through and through :)