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Resolution Reviews – First Batch for 2008 – 7 movies, 4 books –

Ratatouille

Not a bad movie but not great either. The accents annoyed me and there were rats in the kitchen. I simply couldn't suspend my disbelief long enough to stop boggling that there were rats. In the kitchen. Rats. In the kitchen. A rat was tasting the food and people were all ZOMG BWEE over it. Um, no.

However, it was a cute feel good story about how you aren't what circumstances you were born into.

Except being a rat. You can't get around that.

6 out of 10

The Simpson's Movie

Here's where I piss off my flist. I'm not a fan of the Simpson's. I don't watch it very often but then again, I don't watch a whole heck of a lot of tv either.

Homer annoyed me to no end but so did Bart. The only one I liked was Maggie and the Irish kid. The plotline sort of sucked and the movie wasn't nearly funny as the tv show is.

That being said… Spider Pig was made of win and redeemed the movie.

6 out of 10

Eastern Promises

I had high hopes for this movie because hello, tattoo'd Viggo. Then I found out who the director was and my expectation plummeted. Unfortunately, even with the plummeting expectations, the movie failed to meet them. Annoying movie with a bunch of subplots that did nothing to help the overarching plot or forward the main deal which was, unfortunately, lost in the midst of everything else except for a 30 second blurb at the end. The movie starts with a throat slash spraying extremely fake looking blood and just gets worse from there.

Only redeeming part of the movie was the naked tattoo'd Viggo fighting people in the shower. Which, unfortunately, was ruined by watching it with my mother going "hit fast forward, I don't want to see that!"

5 out of 10

Stardust (movie)

The movie was made of win. I hadn't read the book before watching the movie but OMG I loved the movie, personally. I thought the actors did a brilliant job though the main actor was sort of fugly until he grew out his hair. I really really loved De Niro in this. OMG, he was so cute in that dress. BEYOND cute. SO MUCH LOVE for him and his pirates!

It had a beautiful fairy tale feel to it and though it dragged in a couple of parts, I didn't care much because I enjoyed Claire Danes and Michelle Pfieffer so much in this movie. Add in Ricky Gervais as the Fence and omg, love.

I've seen reviews with people disappointed in the movie because of reading the book. That being said, as someone who hadn't read the book and had high hopes from watching the previews, I really enjoyed it.

10 out of 10

Stardust by Neil Gaiman

So after enjoying the movie so much, I checked the book out of the library. I really enjoyed the book. Obviously it read differently than the movie portrayed it but I liked both. Neil Gaiman's writing style sort of annoyed me at first until I got into it but yeah, much love for both of these things.

10 out of 10

Dragonlance – Dragons of Autumn Twilight (animated movie)

When I was a little girl, I devoured books (sense a theme in my life?). My favorite series was the Dragonlance books about Tanis Half-Elven and Raistlin and Flint and the Six. I loved Tanis beyond the beyond because of his struggles. To my 8 year old self, he was a romantic figure and I crushed on him something fierce. I haven't read the books in a few years (since I moved to Arizona and lost access to my dad's book collection) and after seeing this movie, I asked my dad to send me all 30ish books in the series as he's purging his book collection.

I love this movie just as much as the books. They stayed true to the characters (yes, I can still recite lines of dialogue and tell you plots though I've lost the ability to pinpoint book and page number). The voice talents are beyond amazing too – Kiefer Sutherland as Raistlin, Michael Rosenbaum as Tanis (SWOON ON THAT VOICE), James Marsden as Tasselhoff Burrfoot (my mum's favorite character), and Lucy Lawless as Goldmoon.

If you enjoyed the books, you'll probably enjoy this. I say "probably" because the animation sort of blows at times, the CGI vs animation melds are particularly bad but the voice acting, the soundtrack and the plot all rule the earth.

That being said, if you haven't read the books and you want an animated fantasy adventure, you'll probably enjoy this. My sister hasn't read the books and she still enjoyed it. Go read the books, too. I mean it. Go. Shoo!

11 out of 10

Balls of Fury

I laughed the entire frelling time throughout this movie. Seriously it was hilarious. I loved the characters and omg, the whole concept of martial arts ping pong (or as the Chinese say, ping pong) cracks my shit up.

That it was the guy from Mortal Kombat that was in it only made it better. I really wanted him to say "and now for a taste of things to come" but he didn't and, thus, I was disappointed.

9 out of 10

Pirates of the Carribbean 3

Meh. It was good but not nearly as good as the first one. It was better than the second but not by much. Honestly, I just found the acting to be sort of annoying, the triple quadruple whatever crosses to be tedious and expected and the machinations to be annoying. I would've liked it more if, yanno, the movie actually had a resolution at the end. There was no resolution to the Calypso story. Like – I get that she was all swirly in the ocean but wtf happened with the whole Will Turner becoming the ferryman? I just. Don't. get it.

I like the idea of Jack sailing off into the seven seas and all that. That fairly well rocked but the Calypso storyline is one that I would've liked to see a bit more resolution to.

And am I a bad person cause I thought, at the end of the movie (the very end, the one after the credits), that Will was so lucky that he only had to see Elizabeth possibly 6 more times in his life?

However, on the positive front – I enjoyed the way that the computer animation blended with the rest. I liked Davy Jones in this. Barbossa ruled. Chow Yun-Fat rocked. Worth renting but not worth buying, for me. I liked Pintel and Ragetti. The two soldiers at the end when they became pirates also cracked me up.

7 out of 10

Plum Lucky – Janet Evanovich

Plum Lucky is a "Between the Numbers" of the Stephanie Plum series. I laughed so hard I cried during this book. It starts with Grandma Mazur beating the shit out of a guy who thinks he's a leprechaun and devolves from there into a rollicking adventure that ends with Lula's boob plastered on a billboard. I cannot tell you how much I needed a really funny light read with working all these crazy hours. This book DEFINITELY delivered.

10 out of 10

Captain's Fury by Jim Butcher

Part of the Calderon series, this one continued in about the same vein but, unfortunately, it read a bit like a Laurell K Hamilton book in that it felt like barely any time happened and it really didn't advance the overarching plotline of the series very much. It didn't have all the sex (thankfully as I'd really rather not imagine some of these characters having sex, something that LKH should consider).

It did do the big reveal at the end so the last 15 pages advanced the overarching plot more than the entire rest of the book. Also – Tavi is sort of turning in to a Mary Sue and I'm a bit disappointed. Still a fun read, however.

7 out of 10

Morning Light – Catherine Anderson

Catherine Anderson used to be on my "buy as soon as it was published" list. She's no longer on that list. This book was overly religious. Speaking as a fairly out and about Catholic, there was way too much religious babbling going on in the book. It's a romance novel, for Christ's sake.

Also – there were these really highly technical dialogue points which, after the Cassie Edwards thing was exposed, drove me to google loads of dialogue from the book. It was a really crappy read and yet I couldn't stop. I had that car wreck syndrome. I just wanted to see how bad it would get.

Then again, I should've known better that a story about a disbelieving in psychics Catholic cowboy and a Catholic psychic traumatized by her past couldn't possibly end in anything other than tears. Of laughter. This book has the pair of them planning their marriage and their babies after going out in the woods together for 3 days. 3 days. Then there's the vow of chastity on the dude's part and the girl being a 30something year old virgin and them having rollicking hot sexxors on a rock out in the woods for the first time without caring one way or the other except to repeat their vows of chastity until they're married. Once back in the real world, they sleep together with tons of pillows between them. Cause yanno, pillows really put a damper on the hormones. *eyeroll*

Not impressed with this book or the wooden dialogue. I shall miss buying Catherine Anderson's work but I refuse to pay for more of this dreck.

3 out of 10

I'm in the middle of the first book for [livejournal.com profile] fandom_reads so I will probably write my review after the discussion opens there. You have until February 15th to read Persepolis and join the community to get to discuss it with the rest of us. Join before then and you'll get a chance to pick the next book, too! They don't all have to be serious or anything.

January 2012

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