Fic: Loss, Deamus (HP) (G)

[wook77]

Title: Loss
Author: wook77
Rating: G
Prompt Set: 50.3
Prompt: 27. Pain
Word Count: 200
Summary: Loss. Pain. Goodbye.
Warnings: Angst.
Notes: Restarting my 100quills claim for Deamus. This will, eventually, be part of an overarching plot that, right now, stands at about 40k and is unfinished. This section is unbeta'd.


There's something freeing in saying the word 'goodbye'. There's this release deep within his chest, this knot that's been choking him that just disappears. That it devolves into sobs doesn't count, not when it's going away. Eventually.

Some day.

Seamus is going to say goodbye. He will. And someday, he'll mean it. He has to. This loss is just tearing him apart and he can't take it anymore. He can't take this emptylonelywantneedpleaseGodhelpme feeling anymore.

He falls to his knees there in the clearing where he'd lost Dean and then curls into a ball. This obsession will go away. This pain will lessen because, otherwise…

He just wants Dean back. Is that asking too much? The temptation to rail against God, the saints and Mary is so strong at this moment. He crosses himself for his blasphemy, thumb shaking as it touches his forehead and then his heart. It stays there as he breathes, inoutinoutinout.

He needs Dean back; Dean's been there longer than he hasn't. Losing Dean is almost like losing an arm. A leg. His heart. He pauses. Maybe losing his heart would be an improvement. Maybe the ravagingemptyneedingprayingpleading hollowness would be better than this hopelossemptinessragehopeloss cycle.

as always, I'd love to hear what you thought.

Comments

[creative-khaos.livejournal.com]

oh you broke my heart, this was just beautiful

[wook77.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. I'm glad this affected you so much.