wook77 | ficlet for the perposterice challenge. Response to #5 (see below)

Written for the

perpostericecommunity challenge. This is my response to #5 - Ten years ago, Draco Malfoy fled his home and his gland. Then, he met Morigyn.

Title: One true pair? My ass.
Author: wook77
Pairing: Draco/~~Marysue~~ Morigyn
Rating: PG for language (I use a swear word)
Summery - #5 A decade ago, Draco Malfoy fled his home, and gland, and met Morigyn.
Summary - the same as above
Warnings - I'd avoid beverages (at least I hope it's funny enough to cause snorting).

“I want my gland back, you bitch!” Draco Malfoy was not in a good mood. Some damn extra woman named Morigyn, who the hell did she think she was anyway; stood in front of him, holding a piece of himself he’d left behind. Ten years ago, to the day, Draco Malfoy fled his home and his gland. Then, he met Morigyn.

The woman, a sultry vixen that resembled the author when she was skinnier and sexier, had long flowing locks that she swept seductively behind her shoulder with an erotic toss of her head. She had an ample bosom that heaved provocatively as she hid the cooler with the missing piece of Draco Malfoy in it behind her back. Her smile was knowing and alluring at the same time.

“Give it back, right now!” Morigyn tittered and put a hand to her mouth to coyly flirt with Draco.

“What in the name of Merlin is wrong with you? Do you not speak English?” Morigyn tittered once more. “Is that a yes or a no? Am I speaking too British? Would you like me to switch to American? Would that help?” Draco’s voice was loud and demanding as he stalked to the woman. His normal aristocratic and British accent disappeared as he confronted the non-Harry Potter Universe character in front of him.

“I love you, Draco Lucius Malfoy!” Draco rolled his eyes as the woman vowed her eternal love.

“My middle name is NOT Lucius, you stupid bint! My middle name is Barry, ok?! Barry!”

“I love you, Draco Barry Malfoy!” Morigyn breathily vowed once more.

“I don’t love you! I don’t know you! Even more, you don’t belong here! You’re just an unrealistic replica of the stupid author of this stupid story! Your name is unbelievably trite, you’re an American and, hello!, Harry Potter is British!” The woman merely giggled and shyly held out the small red cooler. Draco snatched it from her hands and quickly pulled the frozen gland out of its baggy. With a grunt of pain, he pushed it back inside his body.

“I brought this all the way from your home in Little Whiners in Buggy.”

“First, Malfoy Manor is located in Wiltshire. Wiltshire, do you understand? Second, Harry Potter lives in Little Whinging, not Whiners. Third, that’s located in Surrey not Buggy! Americans!” Draco really wanted to punch the wall that sprang up behind Morigyn or whatever the MarySue’s name was in this version of the story.

“You can yell at me, if you want. It’s ok because I will love you forever, Tom, err, Draco!”

“I’m gay, ok?! I’m a shirt lifter, a cocksucker, an ass bandit, a fudgepacker, a whatever you want to call it! I’m GAY!” Morigyn only tittered once more.

“Excuse me, Miss Author? Why wasn’t it Harry that delivered my gland back to me? He’s the one I’ve been pining for, he’s the unrequited love and the OTP! It’s not you! You’re not even British! Hell, you’re not even magical so stop pretending!” Draco gave an eep as his clothes transformed into feminine lingerie and stockings with heels.

Draco teetered on the heels as he stomped up to the wall and drove his fist into it.

“I don’t like to crossdress! Just because I’m gay does not mean that I want to wear women’s underwear!” Morigyn giggled coyly.

“But you look so sexy in it! Kiss me, love of my life! Live out my fantasy for me!” Draco wobbled as he backed away from Morigyn.

“Look, thanks for the gland. Now, you need to go away. I’m busy fleeing the war and waiting for Harry to come looking for me so that we can reunite and have hot boy!sex. So, thanks and good bye.” His horror mounted as Morigyn came closer and closer. Suddenly, he realized that the author had written him into a cell where he was tied onto the wall, still in his frilly lingerie. The strap in the back of the thong dug into his ass and he shifted uncomfortably. His hands were chained above his head. The giggles had turned into cackles of triumph as Morigyn approached.

“You’re mine now, Draco! I’m going to keep you chained in my basement to cater to my every fangirl dream and desire!” Just as Morigyn’s lips approached Draco’s, the door slammed open and Harry Potter burst through.

“Not so fast, MarySue!”

“Morigyn! My name is Morigyn!” Harry gave a dismissing wave of his wand.

“Morigyn, MarySue, it doesn’t matter! I shall foil this evil plan and let the OTP live on in perpetuity! Impedimenta!” Morigyn stiffened. She was forced to watch as Harry freed Draco from his shackles. Draco gave a quick kick to the frozen girl lying on her side.

“That’s for putting me in women’s underwear.” Harry turned to Draco.

“I quite like the outfit, though. Let’s go show