wook77: (life sucks - dead like me)
[personal profile] wook77
OK, I've locked this down to flist because I'm really going to seem a like a whiny baby.

I signed up for the holiday fic exchange at [livejournal.com profile] hp_fan_fics. Here is what I said:

What you want: Art preferably but I'll take a fic as well. I'd prefer H/D or Neville/Harry as the couple. Err, Something holiday-ish as the theme. Fluff is ok but not necessary. Just not something depressing and dark. It can have angst but I'd like a happy ending.

What you can do: I may not be able to draw but I can write. I'm willing to write slash of H/D, Harry/Lucius, Harry/Neville, Sirius/Remus, Regulus/Severus or Femmeslash of Ginny/Luna. I'm sorry to limit it to those pairings but I'm unfamiliar with other characters and don't want to ruin the gift. I'm ok with anything ranging from non-con/dubious con through to BDSM, Fluff and mpreg.

What you can't do: I won't write the traditional squicks (chan, goldenshowers, bestiality, etc). Also, I'm pants at drawing.

Anything you don't want in the gift you receive? please none of the traditional squicks, please no non-con or dubious con. It's a holiday gift and I'd like it to be semi-holiday related.

Are you willing to create a back-up gift if needed? Sure, just let me know.

This is what I received:

What I want: I would love a femslash fic involving menstrual blood and a Slytherin girl. Any rating, which means it can be low as G or as high as NC-17. Preferably with a Gryffindor female, but I am not picky. If that squicks people too much, I'd like either a mind-f*** (not sure if you can swear on this board yet)with Snape and Harry, or hate-sex with James/Snape.

Again any rating goes. And even if you don't want hate-sex with James/Snape, I would love to see some sort of emnity toward each other.

Harry/Neville would be appreciated, but I'm a little about picky it. I would like Neville coming out into his own power, and not being so portrayed as the weaker of the two.

Or anything with Trelawney. I love the old bat.

I don't mind newbie writers as I am a newbie myself.

More character interaction the better.

What I can do: I can write fic of up to 2000-4000 words. I can do art, but it is not as good as my writing and I have scanner issues so it might be a little rocky there. Would prefer not to write anything too racy as I have only attempted to write porn once, and it ended up horribly. Most slash and femslash pairings accepted. Het is okay too. I like to draw parallels between characters for anyone who likes that sort of thing. I believe my skills are in character dialogue and tone of the story.

I will not write Older man/Younger female fic. Also out Harry/Ginny, any pairing with Slughorn, anything with Sirius Black, and Harry/Draco. I will not do BDSM or scat. Chan is fine, except for the formerly mentioned olderman/younger female. I will not attempt to do Dumbledore/anyone. Lupin/Harry is out too. That seems to me to be a huge breach of trust. I will not write necrophilia either.

What I don't Want: Scat, golden showers, BDSM, all sex fic (I want some char interaction)or any of the pairings I won't write.

Backup Gift?: No. I think I will be rushed already even with one fic.


Hmmm, it doesn't seem a very good fit to me. Out of everything the person requested, the only thing that fits is this other person's picky "Neville/Harry". Hmmm.

Am I a baby for thinking that this fic exchange doesn't seem like a good fit? How the fuck am I supposed to write a femmeslash with menstrual blood (um, eugh)? I guess I was not specific enough on the "traditional squicks" definition. Just the thought of having to write for this has now stressed me out to the point that I don't want a frikken thing to do with this.

I emailed the moderator about the poor match and was basically told too bad so sad.

I'm going to write a story but I'm sure this person is going to hate it as none of her pairings other than a picky one fits. The pairing that I personally feel I excel at is on her "don't write" list.

Sorry to rant. I seriously feel like a whiny baby being upset about this but I'm so upset I could cry. Talk about over-reactions - I want to pull out and say forget it.

Feel free to tell me that I'm being a whiny baby because I feel like I am for being so upset about this.

Ok, /rant and whiny baby-ness.

Solutions - I will simply not volunteer for a fic exchange run by the same person. I will write a Neville/Harry fic and not get upset when she doesn't like it. Mature reactions, which is what I need.

Again, apologies for being a baby and putting this crap on your flist. I just wanted the thoughts out there.

EDIT: Just heard back from the moderator who apologized for the 'tude. Basically, I was the only one willing to write ANY of the requests so that's why I got it. The mod was quite nice about the explanation the second response. So, I shall write the Harry/Neville and if she doesn't like it, too bad so sad for her *smirk*.

EDIT 2: Heard back from the moderator again... I am now writing a Remus/Sirius comedy instead. There was someone actually willing to write menstrual blood femmeslash. Say it with me - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Date: 2005-11-22 05:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lusiology.livejournal.com
I don't think you're whiny and I don't think the mod's attitude was constructive. The thought of writing anything positive with menstrual blood in it makes me shudder. I think that ranks with scat & golden showers. Ew!

Harry/Neville it is then or pull out & let someone write for your giftee. Having just seen GOF maybe Neville could teach Harry to dance for some holiday festival e.g Christmas seeing as he excelled at it & then they could snog or something. *sends positive vibes to help you*

Date: 2005-11-22 07:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
Thanks. Yeah, I shuddered when I read it and then re-read as I thought I'd misread it for sure. Cause, um, well, EW.

Yeah, Harry/Neville it is. I'm liking your idea and will probably use it. Will credit, of course.

BTW, I wanted to send you something for you to britpick/beta later this week, if you're still up for it.

Date: 2005-11-22 08:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lusiology.livejournal.com
Yep. I'm up for it. *grins*

Date: 2005-11-22 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
*breathes a sigh of relief*

It's one of my entries for [livejournal.com profile] slashfest and it's for [livejournal.com profile] furiosity. She's such a great author that I don't want to fuck it up and I know between you and [livejournal.com profile] yodels, you won't let me.

Thanks so much!!!! That's a load off my mind, let me tell you!

Date: 2005-11-23 05:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lusiology.livejournal.com
Wow. I'm flattered you have such faith in me. ♥

Yes she is a great author. Her attention to detail and canon knowledge is one of the reasons I stopped Beautiful Twilight because I felt I really needed to think out a convincing back story rather than just rely on the one line cliche Draco was a spy for the order.

Date: 2005-11-22 06:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skarch86.livejournal.com
Feel free to tell me that I'm being a whiny baby because I feel like I am for being so upset about this.

No way! It's perfectly okay to whine about this. I can only imagine the WTF-ness being in that situation. What was the moderator thinking? Seriously!

I'll just sit and wait for the Neville/Harry pr0n then. ;)


Date: 2005-11-22 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
I'm not sure how pr0ny it will be... I'm liking the suggestion above for the dancing...

Thanks for the snuggle, I needed it.

Date: 2005-11-22 06:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] malikamoonbeam.livejournal.com
Um...that's a very strange match, yes. I completely agree with you and I'd be very upset as well. All of the things you said that you could do are on her 'don't want' list, except Harry/Neville which she's 'picky' about. And ew - menstrual blood is gross, but especially for a holiday fic. I just got squicked, lol!

So your best bet is to write a Harry/Neville fic, obviously, but where Neville is a dom. And with little to no shagging (that's not fun). I'll be happy to help you brainstorm for ideas!! [livejournal.com profile] luciology, above, had some good ideas as well. I just feel awful for you! *hugs*

Date: 2005-11-22 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
Yeah, the mental picture of holiday menstrual blood is um, well, icky.

I'll have to write something and post it flocked so that you all can read it and let me know what you thought.

Date: 2005-11-22 09:53 pm (UTC)
ext_17435: (Default)
From: [identity profile] incapricious.livejournal.com
*snerk* Aw, come on wook! It's RED. Red is a Christmas color! Hee.

Date: 2005-11-22 10:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
OMG YOU! I was actually thinking of the crack!fic with that in mind but I thought, no frikken way.


Date: 2005-11-23 06:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] malikamoonbeam.livejournal.com
*laughs* Oh, God!! You've just killed me with that.

Date: 2005-11-23 08:09 pm (UTC)
ext_17435: (Default)
From: [identity profile] incapricious.livejournal.com
Oops, sorry! *revives you*

Date: 2005-11-23 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] malikamoonbeam.livejournal.com
Yeah, post it flocked. I'm sure I'll love it, but it's always a good idea to check and see other peoples thoughts on it before you submit it. :-)

Date: 2005-11-22 06:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] star-dancer54.livejournal.com
*pets* Poor poppet! *snuggles* It is a bit whiny, but I think that the mod in charge is more at fault than anyone else. I'd write the harry/nev, and if she doesn't like it, show her what you'd said when offering yourself up. There's not much else you can do, unless you simply quit it...

Date: 2005-11-22 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
Thanks. I know I'm being a baby about this so I appreciate you listening. (and the honesty!)

I hate quitting something simply because I did volunteer for this. Oh well, Harry/Nev it is and if she doesn't like it, I shan't get too upset about it.

BTW, Happy Birthday, I'm sorry I missed it.

Date: 2005-12-08 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] star-dancer54.livejournal.com
*snickers* Well, those are two of my better skills... tho usually it's called bluntness *snerks* *snuggles* It isn't like you do it often...

True, true. Can't feel bad about something you were chosen badly for, anyway...

*nuzzles* Why, thank you :D

Date: 2005-11-22 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kabal42.livejournal.com
That is a weird match, I agree. But then, you received a rather odd request, so perhaps you were the one closest to the giftee's wishes, who knows?
For what it's worth, I think you will do great with a Harry/Neville and if your recipient is not fond of it, then someone else is bound to be :-)

And you are not whiney at all, it's completely fair to feel out of sorts about something like this. Fic-exchange can end up prompting strangeness.
The last one I signed up for has turned me on to writing Lily/Narcissa, which I never had thought of before, and I actually like the experience.

Date: 2005-11-22 08:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking but I was too lazy to go and look at what everyone else said they'd be willing to write.

I'm tempted to post another challenge's response as this response as well at this point (I volunteered to write Harry/Neville for [livejournal.com profile] slashfest. I won't but it's tempting.

Date: 2005-11-22 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kabal42.livejournal.com
I'd be too lazy as well *G*

I can really see why that's trempting. It's admirable that you are resisting that temptation. I hope you end up having fun writing it, at least.

Date: 2005-11-22 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com

Yeah, I'm going to write a unique one if it kills me.

It's also tempting to write a crack!Fic based on the menstrual thing.

Date: 2005-11-22 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-folked.livejournal.com
WTF??? Darling you are NOT whining. That's the most awful fit ever. You can write H/D which is the first pairing in your list!!! And you specified that you were willing to write only Ginny/Luna het and she wants menstrual-blood slytherin girl. I repeat, WTF??

Whine all you want babe, you deserve it. I'm mad as hell because knowing you I'm sure your fic will be splendid anyway.

You know what, I'll write a fic for you. Ask me away.

Date: 2005-11-22 09:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
*hugs* you are far far far too wonderful and lovely. I am being a baby but I heard back from the moderator who apologized for the 'tude and said that I was the only one who even partially fit... so, I'm going to do the Harry/Neville.

*winks* I'd love some Parvati fic. Whatever you feel like, I trust you.

Date: 2005-11-22 10:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-folked.livejournal.com
Parvati, who would have guess? *laughs* Sure. Any guy or girl in mind?

Date: 2005-11-22 10:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
No teachers... other than that, I trust ya... You wouldn't hook Parvati up with just any ole someone... (although if it's Crabbe or Goyle or *shudders* Crabbe AND Goyle, I might have to arrange for some revenge)

Date: 2005-11-23 02:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-folked.livejournal.com
WHAT? No Snape *snaps her finger* *laughs* I could have seen that one coming. No pun intended.

Okay. *thinks*

Got it. *smirks*

Date: 2005-11-22 10:02 pm (UTC)
ext_17435: (Default)
From: [identity profile] incapricious.livejournal.com
Geez. Totally not a good fit, and you're not being a cry-baby at all. I'm glad the moderator apologized and explained things better.

I'm trying to figure out how you could have a G-rated femmeslash fic with menstrual blood. The best I can do is to have it set in like 2nd year, and have Hermione notice that Pansy is bleeding through her robes or something, and deciding she should tell her, and Pansy is all bitchy but then embarrassed because she's never gotten her period before and is confused and Hermione has to explain about menstruation to her because she never paid attention when her mother explained it to her, and then Pansy says to repay her for her help she will show her how to "make herself feel good" and Hermione gets all shocked and storms off. But I think that last bit bumps it up to PG. Oh well, I tried. :P

Good luck! Fic exchange is hard, I think. It must be hard to pair everyone up. It's weird that the same person you write for has to write for you though. Usually it's not like that, right? Unless I'm just wildly confused. Which is possible.

ps -- Hi!

Date: 2005-11-22 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
OMG... I so want to write that now. My stomach hurts from laughing so much at your story and then your "bumps it up to PG" comment. *dies*

it's taken me quite a bit to type my response because I'm laughing so hard my fingers keep hitting the wrong buttons.

Ok, not re-reading, will not re-read so I can comment on the rest of it.

Yeah, I'm sure it's hard, especially if people drop out and someone else has to write a fic... which is why I didn't want to drop out. I'd stick someone else with the "female issue" holiday fic. *giggles*

I don't think that the person you get is the one who writes for you. (shudders... god I hope not... man that was catty)

PS HI back! I'm glad the job is going well... haven't had a chance to comment to you. BTW... how are you with programming HTML in an email? I want to start doing a newsletter for my business and have it look pretty and professional and could use a tutorial. I could pay you in fic?

Date: 2005-11-23 12:15 am (UTC)
ext_17435: (Default)
From: [identity profile] incapricious.livejournal.com
Gah. Not getting my comment notifications. *evil death glare at LJ*

Go ahead, write it! I dare you. I double-dog dare you!
Glad I could amuse, at any rate. :D

Female issues holiday fic!!! *cracks up*


Was that catty? I don't blame you for hoping it's not her who writes for you. I mean, look at what she said! Geez.

It's okay, you don't need to comment on my entries... I feel perfectly fine and not at all unloved when no one comments... *sobs*


Um, I'm not like an HTML guru or anything, but I know enough to probably be able to help. I don't have scads of time, but... I think we can come to an arrangement. *rubs hands together, plots what fic to ask for*

Date: 2005-11-23 04:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
I second the *evil death glare*! I went to the comments tool and saw I'd gotten a bunch of comments on some of my prompt responses that I hadn't responded too and now I look like a hypocritical jerk that doesn't respond. I piss and moan about authors not responding and what do I do? not respond... at least I have an excuse.

It's tempting to write a crack!fic, it really is. If I need a giggle, I'll be writing it... no worries, I'll credit YOU for the idea... share the blame wealth and all that.

I went and read some of her fics and was like, yeah, um, ew. So hopefully not.

I'll comment from here on out, I promise... I was just trying to write a few of the prompts (have you seen how much I've written lately? sheesh, you leave and I get a bunch written :P)

Squee!!! on the help! I'll take any help I can get, let me tell you.

Date: 2005-11-23 08:14 pm (UTC)
ext_17435: (Default)
From: [identity profile] incapricious.livejournal.com
Well, I think pretty much everyone is having comment-notification woes, so I'm sure they realize that's what's going on.

I have seen how much you've written! I still haven't read much of it yet... *pouts* Stop being so prolific and give me a chance to catch up, here!

Are you saying that when I'm around, your productivity declines? Hmm. I knew I was distracting, but I had no idea I was that distracting. :P

Feel free to email me with HTML questions or whatever, and I will do my best to not accidentally ignore them, like I do with so much of my email. *rolls eyes at self*

Date: 2005-11-23 04:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silentauror.livejournal.com
Oh, I know what you mean! I got a really frustrating assignment for [livejournal.com profile] hp_valensmut, too. None of the pairings I'd said I'd write. Or maybe I included Harry/Snape. I got Bill/Harry, Charlie/Harry, or threesome with Harry/Snape/Luna. (Which is totally WTF??? to me, but whatever!) Weird. Good luck with it!

Date: 2005-11-23 06:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] malikamoonbeam.livejournal.com
Harry/Snape/Luna?? That's hilarious! What would be the plot line for a fic like that? Such a strange pairing.

Date: 2005-11-23 06:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silentauror.livejournal.com
I was sort of like... uhhhhh... will be choosing one of the other ones, then... :)

Date: 2005-11-23 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
*snirt* I knew there was a reason I didn't sign up for that (or did I? Crap)

Charlie/Harry would be sexah but Harry/Snape/Luna? What would you base it on? Quidditch Commentary? Total crack!fic ahead on that one!

I talked to the moderator again (about 15 emails back and forth by this point) and have been re-assigned to Sirius/Remus. Someone else was actually willing to write the menstrual thing. *shudders*

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