wook77: (falling)
[personal profile] wook77
Title: Fucking Dignam (2/2)
Fandom: The Departed
Author: [livejournal.com profile] wook77
Characters: Dignam/Costigan
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Canon Compliance
Word Count: ~2400
Summary: Billy's getting through the best way he knows how but Dignam doesn't quite approve.
Author's notes: Follows Part 1. Written for [livejournal.com profile] slash_friday's Week 4 Prompt. Beta by [livejournal.com profile] ficlette and all remaining mistakes are my own.


He hasn't heard anything from Dignam about it and it's been weeks. Billy's been braced for Dignam to get the jab in for too long but he isn't going to be relaxing his guard anytime soon. If he knows anything, he knows that Dignam hasn't forgotten the way he'd watched that hand splayed on his chest.

His wrist is better, aching and miserable, but at least the cast is gone. He's supposed to be off the pills but they're helping him sleep through the nightmares that've started since he started his work for Costello. A couple weeks earlier, he'd lost count of the number of times he's woken in a cold sweat, fear clawing his lungs and not letting him breathe.

Out of the neighborhood, Billy heads to a drugstore to get a new prescription filled. The attack, when it happens, comes from behind when he's shoved and taken into a storage room. Turning with a fist in the air, he stops mid-punch when he sees Dignam.

"The fuck you doing?" The man asks as he pushes Billy against a wall.

"What the fuck you think I'm doing?" He hits the forearm holding him but Dignam only tightens a fist in his shirt before shoving him again, head impacting with the wall.

"I think you're fucking up my investigation, that's what I think. I think you're such a fucking weak bag of shit that you're using a crutch and fucking up my investigation. What the fuck are the pills for, you little rat?" Dignam's leaning in closer and snarling in his face.

"Get off of me!" Billy finally frees his shirt but can't quite get out from under Dignam. He's a lot stronger than Billy and he's not even breaking a sweat while Billy struggles.

"Now you and I both know that I hate having to repeat myself so I'm gonna pretend, just this one time, that I didn't ask before. You ready to answer me?" Dignam grips his chin and then hits it against the wall again.

"Lay off, already! They're for my wrist." Billy stops struggling.

"This one?" Dignam picks up his wrist and then smashes it against the wall. "The one that looks perfectly fine?"

"Fuck off," Billy spits back and gets his head bashed against the wall for his troubles.

"Fuck my investigation and see what happens."

"I'm living, breathing and sleeping this investigation, asshole. It's just an investigation to you but it's my fucking life if I fuck this up. I think I understand the severity of it." His head hits the wall again and now there's a headache building from the repeated blows.

"Fuck this over and you won't have to worry about Costello getting to you because I'll be there first."

"Get off my ass, I'm doing the job."

"You're not doing the job or haven't I been clear enough? Want me to lay it all out? You are fucking up right fuck now. You are going to stop that shit right now." Each sentence brings Dignam's face closer until the last when Billy can feel his breath – and smell the onions that he'd probably had on a hot dog for lunch – and it's uncomfortable.

Billy doesn't respond, can't with the way that he's finally realizing how close they are and the odd twisted expression from before. Neither moves as the silence becomes oppressive.

"Not going to answer?" There's no heat in the words and that surprises Billy. In fact, for the first time, Billy thinks that Dignam sounds leery of him. As he opens his mouth to respond, Dignam leans forward and then they're kissing. It comes out of nowhere, it's completely unexpected to have Dignam's tongue in his mouth but he doesn't argue with it or pull away. He kisses back, their tongues brushing against one another as they shift to take control of the kiss. Their noses bump and teeth clack but the sensation takes over.

He hadn't known how much he'd needed this sort of contact until now. There's a thump against the door and Dignam pulls back, taking his hands off Billy. He wipes the back of his hand across his mouth before spitting out, "Lay off the fucking pills, got me?"

With that, Dignam lets go and walks out of the pharmacy. Billy goes out, gets his pills and leaves, rubbing the back of his head because he doesn't think that rubbing across his lips would be a good idea. He's confused as shit, wondering what the fuck just happened and, more importantly, what the fuck Dignam's going to do with the knowledge.

Fucking Dignam.

~~**~~


It's another couple of months and Billy thinks that this investigation isn't worth it anymore. He's cold, all the time; he can't get warm no matter what he tries. A month ago, he'd stopped thinking that there wasn't anything out there that he hadn't seen. There will always be something that he hasn't seen or done and there will always be a new low for him to reach. The violence doesn't end and his soul feels like it's freezing over as he shoots a man's hand in a house across from a school while children are in the playground.

Once he's outside and back in his car, he picks up the phone and calls Queenan. "When're we going to have enough?"

"Hello to you, too. So nice to hear from you, we're all well, thanks for asking." It's Dignam and Billy rolls his eyes. Neither's mentioned the kiss and that's alright with Billy even if he's started to dream about it. He's not quite sure which dream is worse – the one with the blood and death or the one where Dignam fucks him against a wall.

"Where's Queenan?" Billy asks without responding to the barbs.

"He's at home, his boy's sick. You have new information for me or should I hang up now?" Billy can just picture Dignam sitting back and putting his feet up on his desk.

"Tell Queenan I need to talk to him. In person."

"I'm not your messenger." Dignam hangs up on him and Billy snarls. It's far too tempting to hurl the phone into the water and walk away from everything. Maybe if he'd been able to talk to Queenan, he'd feel better about everything. As it is, he's tempted to follow the phone into the water. If Dignam had just let him talk to Queenan, he wouldn't feel like he's lost every shred of decency he has left.

Fucking Dignam.

~~**~~


When they finally meet, Dignam's with Queenan and there's something off. Billy thinks that it's Queenan because he keeps watching him with sympathy written all over him. Dignam's being his normal asshole self and that reassures Billy for some reason, sets him back onto even footing.

"Sorry I wasn't there for your call. What do you have for us?" Queenan starts the conversation as they sit down in the small office in the back of the corner market. Small is a bit of an understatement as it barely has enough room for the desk let alone three people ranged around the room.

Billy runs down all the information he's gathered; the killings, the drugs, the smuggling, the shakedowns, who's doing what and when and with and to whom. The other two are quiet as he runs down the details.

"Hang in there, kid," Queenan says and Billy nods. "We're doing what we can and you're doing good work. Keep it up. Look, I'm going to be late for a meeting with the Commissioner if I don't get a move on so give the rest to Dignam, alright? We'll talk later."

Billy nods again before Queenan flips his notebook closed and leaves.

"He leave you here to walk your ass back to the station?" Billy asks.

"You're a funny one, a real comedian." Dignam sneers. "You got anything else?"

Billy shakes his head. "Not really, we hit the highlights."

"You still treating your wrist?" The way Dignam says it, Billy can tell he still doesn't believe Billy about the pills.

"None of your fucking business." The words are barely out of his mouth before Dignam's across the room and punching him across the chin.

"Check the attitude, you little shit, before I check it for you."

"You won't do shit," Billy taunts as he tastes blood.

"Yeah?" Dignam grabs Billy's neck and pulls him closer. "You think I won't?"

"Yeah, that's right. You don't have the balls to do anything Queenan doesn't tell you to. Queenan's bitch, aren't you?" Billy's gone a step too far and he can tell as Dignam's face twists. Yet again, Dignam moves too fast and before Billy can realize it, he's face down against the desk with Dignam sprawled over him, holding him down.

"Keep mouthing off…" Dignam doesn't finish the threat as his breath brushes the back of Billy's ear.

"Or what? You going to hit me again? Let me guess, you're going to delete my record? Fuck off, Queenan won't let you." Billy's pushing his luck but he doesn't care. The cold's going away as they fight.

"Queenan's not here," Dignam whispers and it's a promise, especially as Dignam's hand grabs Billy's ass. Billy can feel how hard Dignam is as he presses in closer.

"You going to fuck me? This what this is about?" Billy asks as he pushes back against the hand and dick behind him.

The hand disappears only to reappear on the fastenings of Billy's jeans. Then his ass is bare with the stale air from the air conditioning brushing across it while the cloth of Dignam's pants tease at the skin.

"You want it, don't you? Want it up your ass so far you can taste it, you little fairy?" Dignam's taunting but his hand on Billy's ass is gentle as he pushes his cheeks apart and rubs his thumb across the crack. "Say it."

"Fuck off," Billy mutters as he shakes his head 'no'. He's not going to plead for Dignam. He has more pride than that. The resolve lasts only as long as Dignam doesn't move. Considering Dignam's pushing a finger into his ass as he makes the vow, it ends almost before it can begin. "Just do it already," he demands instead, as he clings to what's left of his dignity while bucking back against that teasing finger.

"Say it, you little shit, or this ends now." Dignam moves his finger and it brushes against Billy's prostate. Resolve and dignity disappear under the onslaught.

"Fucking stick your dick in, already, Christ Jesus, need an instruction manual or something?"

"You'll pay for that." Billy doesn't care about the threat as there's another finger pushing into his ass and loosening him.

Then they're gone and he barely has time to absorb the loss before Dignam's dick is pushing into him. It burns as he opens around it. He breathes through his mouth, short panting breaths, as he tries to relax. Dignam's bigger than he'd expected or Billy's less open than he'd thought. Either way, Billy wants him in and he wants it now.

"The fuck you doing back there? Going to fuck me or not?" Billy really needs to stop shooting his mouth off around Dignam but there's something about pushing Dignam's buttons that he just can't resist. Dignam thrusts hard and forces his way in the rest of the way. Billy's slammed against the edge of the desk while Dignam's hand on the back of his head pushes his face against the desk. He's going to have an imprint of scattered paperclips on his face by the time this is done if Dignam doesn't let off.

"You want fucked? I'll fuck you, fucking bitch," Dignam mutters before he starts thrusting in earnest.

This burning and raw fucking is exactly what he wanted. The roughness reminds him that he's alive and that he can feel. Too often during the shit for Costello, he's closed down and automatic. He feels like a fucking robot too much already and this reminds him that he's flesh and blood. Dignam's panting and sweating, it's dripping onto his back while Dignam thrusts.

"Deeper," Billy orders and Dignam only grunts but he changes the angle and he's going deeper. He's not quite there yet so Billy tries to angle his hips and … there, just right there. He works to sync his push back with Dignam's thrust forward so that he's getting the pleasure of the motion as well.

His erection returns as the pleasure starts spiking. Dignam's hand on his head has started shaking and the curse words are virtually indistinguishable as they keep time with the thrusts.

"Come on, you little pussy, fucking give it to me," Dignam snarls as his hand shifts from Billy's hip to the middle of his back and presses him into the desk. The rest of the diatribe disappears into a symphony of sound that Billy doesn't really care to understand. Instead, he concentrates on the feel of Dignam behind him and his own hand pumping his cock. After a few more thrusts from the other man, Billy's coming, spilling onto the floor underneath the desk. "Fucking right, Christ."

Dignam presses him even harder as he comes, grinding Billy's face into the desk. He can feel the pulsing deep inside while Dignam finishes.

"This isn't going to happen again, you got me?" Billy attempts to nod.

All the weight and hands disappear while Dignam cleans himself off. Billy stands and pulls up his jeans, not quite sure how it happened. Hell, if it wasn't for the ache in his ass, he wouldn't be sure that it had happened at all.

"Lay off the fucking pills, I mean it." Dignam's out the door and Billy sits down on the desk and stares at it.

Fucking Dignam. The curse suddenly seems a bit too real now.

~~**~~


On the elevator ride down, he's cursing Dignam, wondering where the fuck he is and why he isn't picking up his goddamn phone. He wants to say it out loud, wants to say "Fucking Dignam" but he doesn't.

He doesn't get a chance.

As always, I'd love to hear what you think! Concrit Welcome!

Date: 2007-03-31 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kabal42.livejournal.com
Hey. I've been semi-absent from LJ for sooooo long. And I haven't read this fic. Probably not going to either, but I know you always do great stuff.

I just had to squee over the fact that someone - and you at that! - write fic in The Departed canon :-D
I have a shadow existence as [livejournal.com profile] billy_costigan over at [livejournal.com profile] the_blank_slate. My Billy is very straight, so he wont let me read this. For which I apologise muchly!

Still. SQUEEE! :-D

Date: 2007-04-13 04:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
TEEEHEEE!!! I didn't know that! but that is soooo awesome and yes! There's a comm for Departed fic, though right now, it's all slash, het's welcome too, if you get the urge. It's conveniently called [livejournal.com profile] departed_fic. The members are really awesome and very responsive :)

Date: 2007-04-13 01:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kabal42.livejournal.com
Thanks for the link! It's my experience that RPing characters make me write them, so there just might be het somewhere in me ;-) (Poor me - and avid slasher and femmeslasher! Ohdear. Billy, what you do to me! *G*)

Date: 2007-04-09 12:17 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Dude, I can't get enough of your writing. You really do have the characters down pat (but in my sick mind I still want to Dignam help poor Billy (omg, especially after Queenan's body just exploded on him!)). I can't find any other Departed fics on the web, so until other people start typing, you are the one and only writer I revere. Keep up your great work!

Date: 2007-04-13 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
Thanks muchly! And yeah, I'd like for Dignam to help Costigan but I just don't see a way for it to happen, unfortunately :(.

There have been some really great fics posted at [livejournal.com profile] departed_fic that I urge you to check out!

Thanks muchly! I hope I live up to your expectations!

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