Resolution Reviews
Jan. 28th, 2007 08:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wook77Quite a few more Resolution Reviews. Same disclaimer as before. Spoilers abound and squeeing over hot guys/gals.
Invincible
It was, at the core, a feel good Disney movie and shock of all shocks,it was made by Disney. It was well acted and actually made me care about someone from Philly which is hard considering that my family is Pittsburgh to the core and if there's one thing anyone from the Tri-state area knows… Pittsburgh and Philly are opposites and never the twain shall meet. I really liked the main character that was played by Mark Wahlberg and not just because it was Mark "please let me have your babies, please please please" Wahlberg. The guy had shite luck and finally, things turned around completely for him.
Don't be telling my mum but I was actually happy to hear the Eagles went to the Superbowl with Vince Papale on the team, that's how good the movie was.
10 out of 10
Gossip
I gave this one a 7 partially due to the eye candy factor. James Marsden, Kate Hudson and Norman Reedus… ever since Boondock Saints, I've been in-frikken-love with Norman Reedus so I decided to rent a shitload of his movies. The movie was fairly well acted, which also made it deserving of the score.
However, it made me want to write a letter to Hollywood –
Dear Hollywood,
When writing a script with what we, as fanfiction authors call "mindfuck", please make it less predictable. Having James Marsden standing over Kate Hudson's character with a creepy expression on his face gives it the fuck away that he did it from the very beginning. Add to it the obvious guilt that "Jones" was feeling once the word "rape" was mentioned and I could tell right from there that she was going to fuck with James Marsden's character. When Naomi came up "dead", I sighed "how boring" and then spent the rest of the movie screen capping Norman Reedus.
You might want to read some mindfuck and if you'd like, I can send you plenty of links to well done mindfuck. Until then… please stop writing such predictable endings that are supposed to be surprise twists. Yes, that goes for M. Night Shamalyn as well. Could you please forward this to him? Thanks.
Love,
Wook
After watching the movie, I found a few reviews where the person reviewing it said you ahd to watch it twice to get the twist. Um, no. It's obvious.
It gets the rating as it was well acted, Travis's art was fairly cool, the loft apartment was also cool and I liked the exploration of the dynamics of gossip, especially considering my workplace and the gossip mill that is CONSTANTLY churning.
7 out of 10
Dark Harbor
That reason is the snog between Alan Rickman and Norman Reedus. Dear Lord but I almost came right then and there. I cheered when Polly Walker's character died as I found her a cold bitch and would've been willing to kill her myself.
Like with Gossip, the same letter would apply. This "mindfuck" twist ending was bullshit and totally fucking predictable. How else was Alan Rickman going to find out that Polly Walker had been hitting on Norman Reedus if Norman hadn't told Alan? You never got to see Alan beating Norman Reedus though I really would've enjoyed that as I don't mind the fake!hate!sex. Just a fucking hot mental image… give me a moment.
Oh right, predictability. Honestly, start to finish, predictable and not mindfuck-y at all. Well acted for the most part and Norman Reedus is fucking hot as shit. Add to it that Snape was snogging my Seamus PB and, well, I'm suddenly debating fanfiction of Snape/Seamus and I blame![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ficlette.
8 out of 10 for one reason only.
Savage Girls and Wild Boys by Michael Newton
This book should've been a fairly great read. It's about real life or purported real life "Mowglis". It's basically non-fiction and this guy's doctoral thesis disguised as a psuedo-interesting book. That should've tipped me off that the guy was really fucking boring. It's a very dry book that could've been extremely intriguing but failed by not making the reader identify with the children more. Instead, it's a recitation of facts, which would be fine for a thesis but for a book that's been published and was reviewed as "intriguing and heartwrenching in its detail", it left me going "bwa? were we reading the same book?". The story of the wolf children in India was the only heart wrenching bit.
5 out of 10
Plum Loving by Janet Evanovich
Stephanie Plum will always, garaunteed with one rare exception, make me laugh my ass off. I can't take this series to the doctor's, the dentist's, the dmv or, well, anywhere out in public. The reason? Because I will randomly burst out in uncontrollable laughter that involves snorts, heaving breaths, twitches and possibly snot running down my face due to the tears of laughter (ok, not the snot, that's just gross).
This book was fairly funny, an extremely quick read (seriously, including the time I was cooking and eating dinner with my family, it took me about 3 hours) and featured a few character's I'd forgotten. Diesel had me giggling so hardcore. Grandma Mazur ROCKS. There's one scene where Stephanie is trying to help a 35 year old virgin get some pointers on what to do during sex and Grandma knocks on the door. Then... Lulu comes to the door as well and all four sit there watching porn and drinking wine. That was the funniest bit in the book, IMHO. Just way funny.
Stephanie as matchmaker pwns all. AND - it has Klaughn (gah, cannot spell his name) marrying Stephanie's sister in a hilarious wedding that you have to read to believe.
10 out of 10
That concludes the most recent spate of movies and books. I'm shocked that I have my first two 10s in this post but there you have it.
In other news - I made my mother and sister watch Boondock Saints and they were suitably impressed. My brother and his family were here for the day and we were all talking about the movie and he wanted to borrow it and I grabbed it to my bosum and snarled "mine". I need that forfantasising research, garshdarnit!
I've another three Norman Reedus movies rented and I'm going to be renting a few Sean Patrick Flanery movies as well. I'm also screencapping like a fool and will be uploading them tomorrow while struggling through payroll.
My brother and his family came to visit today. I've a two year old nephew and a nine month old nephew. We went to look at my new house and then tucker out my 2 year old nephew. When we got back to the house where we're living right now, the door wouldn't open. We kept trying the bottom lock and nothing, it wouldn't budge. To back up a step, I should mention that the deadbolt hasn't worked in over a year. It just wouldn't lock for over a year. So, we then try the deadbolt and nothing. The door won't frikken open.
So, as I'm the lightest of all of us, my brother and sister heft me onto the 8 foot tall very narrow metal gate that opens into the backyard. We would have just opened it up but the key to the lock is inside the house. So, I'm up there balancing and decide instead of just falling over it, I'd shimmy over to the blockwall... wrong decision as my neighbor's 150 lb rottweiler decided to try to eat me. So, back onto the gate as the dog actually almost got me a couple times. I slowly slide off the balancing act on the gate (it's literally an inch and a half wide and I was balancing on my sternum from neck to crotch and it fucking hurt) and slowly take my legs over the edge. I did it too fast and twisted as I went over. My hands ripped off the gate and I torqued my left wrist (the one with the permanent nerve damage). My hands are fucked beyond fucked but I make my way to the backdoor where I jimmy the lock and make my way into the house.
Dogs are all "FREEDOM TO PEE" and they go outside and I make my way to the front door. The deadbolt was thrown and the interior bit wouldn't unlock it. I had to get a screwdriver out of the garage. After digging around for about 15 minutes, I finally found one. Take apart the lock and finally get the door open. Thankfully, my brother's a doctor and he looked at my hands and said they'd be fine. He put the lock back together (YAYES) and we just didn't put the locking mechanism back in.
That lock seriously hasn't worked in over a year. We have NO FUCKING idea how the hell it got locked in the first place. We sure as shite didn't try to lock it when we left.
So, basically, my left hand is so swollen I can't make a fist and both hands have these little circular bruises on them where I popped veins. In addition to all that, I still have the little nicks and dings from the broken glass from the other day. If it weren't for bad luck right now, I wouldn't have any.
Invincible
It was, at the core, a feel good Disney movie and shock of all shocks,it was made by Disney. It was well acted and actually made me care about someone from Philly which is hard considering that my family is Pittsburgh to the core and if there's one thing anyone from the Tri-state area knows… Pittsburgh and Philly are opposites and never the twain shall meet. I really liked the main character that was played by Mark Wahlberg and not just because it was Mark "please let me have your babies, please please please" Wahlberg. The guy had shite luck and finally, things turned around completely for him.
Don't be telling my mum but I was actually happy to hear the Eagles went to the Superbowl with Vince Papale on the team, that's how good the movie was.
10 out of 10
Gossip
I gave this one a 7 partially due to the eye candy factor. James Marsden, Kate Hudson and Norman Reedus… ever since Boondock Saints, I've been in-frikken-love with Norman Reedus so I decided to rent a shitload of his movies. The movie was fairly well acted, which also made it deserving of the score.
However, it made me want to write a letter to Hollywood –
Dear Hollywood,
When writing a script with what we, as fanfiction authors call "mindfuck", please make it less predictable. Having James Marsden standing over Kate Hudson's character with a creepy expression on his face gives it the fuck away that he did it from the very beginning. Add to it the obvious guilt that "Jones" was feeling once the word "rape" was mentioned and I could tell right from there that she was going to fuck with James Marsden's character. When Naomi came up "dead", I sighed "how boring" and then spent the rest of the movie screen capping Norman Reedus.
You might want to read some mindfuck and if you'd like, I can send you plenty of links to well done mindfuck. Until then… please stop writing such predictable endings that are supposed to be surprise twists. Yes, that goes for M. Night Shamalyn as well. Could you please forward this to him? Thanks.
Love,
Wook
After watching the movie, I found a few reviews where the person reviewing it said you ahd to watch it twice to get the twist. Um, no. It's obvious.
It gets the rating as it was well acted, Travis's art was fairly cool, the loft apartment was also cool and I liked the exploration of the dynamics of gossip, especially considering my workplace and the gossip mill that is CONSTANTLY churning.
7 out of 10
Dark Harbor
That reason is the snog between Alan Rickman and Norman Reedus. Dear Lord but I almost came right then and there. I cheered when Polly Walker's character died as I found her a cold bitch and would've been willing to kill her myself.
Like with Gossip, the same letter would apply. This "mindfuck" twist ending was bullshit and totally fucking predictable. How else was Alan Rickman going to find out that Polly Walker had been hitting on Norman Reedus if Norman hadn't told Alan? You never got to see Alan beating Norman Reedus though I really would've enjoyed that as I don't mind the fake!hate!sex. Just a fucking hot mental image… give me a moment.
Oh right, predictability. Honestly, start to finish, predictable and not mindfuck-y at all. Well acted for the most part and Norman Reedus is fucking hot as shit. Add to it that Snape was snogging my Seamus PB and, well, I'm suddenly debating fanfiction of Snape/Seamus and I blame
ficlette.8 out of 10 for one reason only.
Savage Girls and Wild Boys by Michael Newton
This book should've been a fairly great read. It's about real life or purported real life "Mowglis". It's basically non-fiction and this guy's doctoral thesis disguised as a psuedo-interesting book. That should've tipped me off that the guy was really fucking boring. It's a very dry book that could've been extremely intriguing but failed by not making the reader identify with the children more. Instead, it's a recitation of facts, which would be fine for a thesis but for a book that's been published and was reviewed as "intriguing and heartwrenching in its detail", it left me going "bwa? were we reading the same book?". The story of the wolf children in India was the only heart wrenching bit.
5 out of 10
Plum Loving by Janet Evanovich
Stephanie Plum will always, garaunteed with one rare exception, make me laugh my ass off. I can't take this series to the doctor's, the dentist's, the dmv or, well, anywhere out in public. The reason? Because I will randomly burst out in uncontrollable laughter that involves snorts, heaving breaths, twitches and possibly snot running down my face due to the tears of laughter (ok, not the snot, that's just gross).
This book was fairly funny, an extremely quick read (seriously, including the time I was cooking and eating dinner with my family, it took me about 3 hours) and featured a few character's I'd forgotten. Diesel had me giggling so hardcore. Grandma Mazur ROCKS. There's one scene where Stephanie is trying to help a 35 year old virgin get some pointers on what to do during sex and Grandma knocks on the door. Then... Lulu comes to the door as well and all four sit there watching porn and drinking wine. That was the funniest bit in the book, IMHO. Just way funny.
Stephanie as matchmaker pwns all. AND - it has Klaughn (gah, cannot spell his name) marrying Stephanie's sister in a hilarious wedding that you have to read to believe.
10 out of 10
That concludes the most recent spate of movies and books. I'm shocked that I have my first two 10s in this post but there you have it.
In other news - I made my mother and sister watch Boondock Saints and they were suitably impressed. My brother and his family were here for the day and we were all talking about the movie and he wanted to borrow it and I grabbed it to my bosum and snarled "mine". I need that for
I've another three Norman Reedus movies rented and I'm going to be renting a few Sean Patrick Flanery movies as well. I'm also screencapping like a fool and will be uploading them tomorrow while struggling through payroll.
My brother and his family came to visit today. I've a two year old nephew and a nine month old nephew. We went to look at my new house and then tucker out my 2 year old nephew. When we got back to the house where we're living right now, the door wouldn't open. We kept trying the bottom lock and nothing, it wouldn't budge. To back up a step, I should mention that the deadbolt hasn't worked in over a year. It just wouldn't lock for over a year. So, we then try the deadbolt and nothing. The door won't frikken open.
So, as I'm the lightest of all of us, my brother and sister heft me onto the 8 foot tall very narrow metal gate that opens into the backyard. We would have just opened it up but the key to the lock is inside the house. So, I'm up there balancing and decide instead of just falling over it, I'd shimmy over to the blockwall... wrong decision as my neighbor's 150 lb rottweiler decided to try to eat me. So, back onto the gate as the dog actually almost got me a couple times. I slowly slide off the balancing act on the gate (it's literally an inch and a half wide and I was balancing on my sternum from neck to crotch and it fucking hurt) and slowly take my legs over the edge. I did it too fast and twisted as I went over. My hands ripped off the gate and I torqued my left wrist (the one with the permanent nerve damage). My hands are fucked beyond fucked but I make my way to the backdoor where I jimmy the lock and make my way into the house.
Dogs are all "FREEDOM TO PEE" and they go outside and I make my way to the front door. The deadbolt was thrown and the interior bit wouldn't unlock it. I had to get a screwdriver out of the garage. After digging around for about 15 minutes, I finally found one. Take apart the lock and finally get the door open. Thankfully, my brother's a doctor and he looked at my hands and said they'd be fine. He put the lock back together (YAYES) and we just didn't put the locking mechanism back in.
That lock seriously hasn't worked in over a year. We have NO FUCKING idea how the hell it got locked in the first place. We sure as shite didn't try to lock it when we left.
So, basically, my left hand is so swollen I can't make a fist and both hands have these little circular bruises on them where I popped veins. In addition to all that, I still have the little nicks and dings from the broken glass from the other day. If it weren't for bad luck right now, I wouldn't have any.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 04:33 am (UTC)You know, Joe Morelli/Ranger slash would be fucking hot!
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 05:05 pm (UTC)If I were Stephanie, I'd want both at the same time.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 04:53 am (UTC)and this post also answered the question about your other, new house.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 05:07 pm (UTC):) I love my new house, it's just taking forever to build. It was supposed to be ready in march and then april and now it's may-june. It's been almost a year since we signed the contracts on it and it's STILL not ready. GAH!!!!
no subject
Date: 2007-01-30 01:39 am (UTC)man, that is a long time. hopefully that means they're doing some quality construction work and aren't just throwing things together. how exciting to move into a brandnew house!
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 01:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 05:07 pm (UTC)Thanks... they're purple today which might be cool if they didn't hurt so fucking much.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 02:43 pm (UTC)And Stephanie Plum is the best! I love her and Grandma Mazur is just how I want to be when I grow old! I tried to read that on the flight to Paris and had to put it down because of ramdom bursts of laughter and the nasty looks my husband was shooting me while he tried to sleep. So I read it at night and kept him up! *shrugs*
Sorry about your hand, hope it heals soon.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 05:13 pm (UTC)Dude, Grandma Mazur is amazing. I totally picture her looking like Estelle Getty in Golden Girls. I love love love her.
I was reading one in the emergency room waiting room while waiting for a friend that was being checked out after a car accident and I kept laughing and the people in there were glaring at me so badly. I had to explain what was going on and I ended up giving my book to someone that looked like they needed the laugh.
They'll be alright, I do shit like this all the time, unfortunately :(. I'm such a klutz magnet.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 08:09 pm (UTC)her writing always puts a huge smile on my face. i need to go buy some more of her books now!
Dark Harbor
Date: 2007-01-30 02:03 am (UTC)Agreed.
Guh, that kiss was totally squee-worthy.