wook77 | 12 Resolution Reviews

I haven't done one of these in awhile so there's a bit of build-up here. Actually, there are 12 reviews in this one. However, as some of them were watched/read awhile back, some of the reviews are sketchy memories… I scored them all right away though so the scores accurately reflect my opinions at the time.

Remember – spoilers abound. Movie reviews probably contain random comments about hot guys, cool bombs or beautiful cars or some such. Book reviews probably contain over usage of the words "predictable", "annoying" and/or "tedious".

Flags of our Fathers

This movie was tedious, tedious and confusing. There were far too many characters and not enough build up to explain about the characters. Then again, perhaps there was build-up when I was watching it in fast forward because the acting was so dismal. Ryan Philippe should just sit back and look pretty. Really.

I wanted to like this movie, I really did. It looked so good and it's from one of my favorite times in history. I love WWII stuffs but this was just annoying.
4.5 out of 10

American Dreamz

Another movie that I had semi-high hopes for (even if it did have Mandy Moore in it). The plotline was beyond cheesy. In face, cheesy I could've dealt with and was actually expecting. This was just hackneyed cliché after hackneyed cliché. The boyfriend was a dumbass, Mandy Moore was over the top in her stupidity and bitchiness and I totally did not get Hugh Grant's character at all. Either he's an egomaniac or he's not. There was no explanation of why he would sacrifice himself for Mandy Moore. One good lay and you're going to give up your life? BULLSHIT.

Also – the voting thing with the boyfriend being the surprise winner? ERRRR, how did they vote for him? Ok, maybe the logic train wasn't meant to stop at this station but I'd like a bit of logic and realism to make me laugh at the other bits because otherwise, I watch in fast-forward. The only reason I didn't watch this one in fast-forward was the Arabic cousins. Dude, those two rocked hardcore and, thus, the only reason I scored this as high as I did.
5 out of 10

Black Dog

If I had to write a one sentence summary of this – No one puts the black dog carrying ex-con in the corner, no one! Ok, hackneyed cliché, wha? This movie was hilarious (to laugh AT not with). It had Meatloaf as a evil Bible-quoting gun smuggler, Patrick Swayze as an ex-con who doesn't have a CDL but takes the job to deliver the guns anyway, some rapper dude that I have no clue who he is and can't be arsed to look it up as an undercover FBI agent and Randy Travis as the sidekick. Who ever said that country and rap couldn't get along with cheesy 80's rockers and actors?

As shitty as the movie was, it was also entertaining. I watched this on TBS and actually sat there waiting for it to come back after commercials. The stunts were wicked cool. None of them were computer generated and so it was awesome knowing that the rig that just blew up really just blew up. The cars got the crap pounded out of them and one rig drove through a motor home (or mobile home, can't remember) and that was fucking awesome. There were soooo many awesome stunts that that made the movie worth it.

There was also a very cute pit bull in it so points on that as well. I also enjoyed watching the editing errors (watch the red car turn to the blue one that exploded and then go back again!) and seeing Patrick Swayze try to be a big mean buff ex-con had me in stitches.

Final word – enjoyable fluff that was fun to watch.
7 out of 10

Shooter

More Mark Wahlberg, less Ned Beatty and Danny Glover.

wendy and I agree, we wanted to hand Danny Glover a cough drop the entire movie. I also have issues taking Ned Beatty seriously (in any movie) as a bad guy because I keep waiting for the redneck to hold him down, bend him over and yell, "SQUEAL, PIGGY, SQUEAL". (Deliverance FTW)

There was a lot of the slow motion "tude" walk that Mark Wahlberg does where he struts and sneers and looks tough. But, that's a-ok with me as it's Mark Wahlberg and he can cop a 'tude with me any day of the week. However, I didn't really sympathize with him too much as he blew people up with napalm (and yes, I did sort of expect a cheesy insert like "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" or some such).

I found the girl insipid and silly. There wasn't much build-up about why Mark would be willing to go to the extremes that he does to save her. They didn't establish a romance there and, yet, the bad dudes referred to her as "your girlfriend". What the hell? Not making much sense.

I couldn't help but giggle at the names, either. Dude, can we get more stereotypical about how heroic the South is? The whole movie was all about how the bad shit happens in the Northeast (and every bad guy had a northeastern accent) and all the patriots were from the South (with really fake southern accents) or Wyoming. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

However, the way that Mark went about his shit, the stunts and the shirtlessness of Mark earned this a higher score. I'd like to watch it again and see if my opinion of it would change.

One line summary – Mark Wahlberg is so good with his gun that he blows up buildings. ~~I'd like to handle his gun, mkthx.~~
8 out of 10

The Chocolate War

I found this book tedious. The author repeated "important" phrases over and over. None of the characters were likeable and the storyline was choppy. I really didn't get the hype over this and/or why people want to ban this book.

The book is all about how this one kid won't sell the chocolate bars for a fundraiser and the local gang in the school (with tacit teacher/priest support) pick on him until it ends with him getting the shit beat out of him in front of the school. Why the one kid would agree to get the shit beat out of him, I don't get and that's probably that I'm a girl and, thus, would report the gang to the authorities. I certainly wouldn't put up with the shit he did and that might be why I didn't enjoy the book. We're supposed to sympathize with the one guy, cheer for him for not selling the chocolates and I keep thinking, ok, what's the bfd here? So you're not selling the chocolates, whoopdy-fucking-do.

In the end – tedious and repetitive.
3 out of 5

Heartbreaker by Julie Garwood

First – this is a romance novel(ish) and, thus, I had low expectations to begin with. Basically, I wasn't expecting plot and/or character development. I was expecting boy meets girl, girl gets in trouble, boy rescues girl, girl blows and/or shags boy to show her thanks.

It's a sad sad day when the book doesn't even meet those low expectations. Yet another thing where none of the characters were very likeable. The only change was that the priest was almost likeable if he'd kept his mouth shut. The main dude swaggered around like a self-important jackass, the girl tittered and tried to be strong but, in the end, needed the main dude to save her ass. The priest wanted to protect the womenfolk (his sister was the one in trouble) and the book annoyed me.

I love Julie Garwood. She writes some very fun, entertaining stories with strong women and interesting characters. Her plotlines entertained me. I love her "For the Roses" especially. The brothers in that are awesome.

Then she went to where the money was and started writing this modern crime dramas and now? She sucks. Dear Julie (may I call you Julie?), Plz to be going back to writing what you're good at. Love, A devoted reader who reads your dreck even when it sucks.
4 out of 10

I honestly do not remember anything about this book other than being annoyed at the characters. I can't even tell you about the plot other than that it was boring.

In conclusion – suckiest review ever for a completely forgettable book.
2 out of 10

Haunted in Death by JD Robb

This is a short story and part of a larger group that I didn't read as the other authors didn't intrigue me at all. Had Robb had more space to flesh this out, it had the possibility of being a great story.

As it was, it was scattered and clichéd. Not her shining moment considering how much I love this series. However, it was a quick fun read so that's a good point. (see what I mean about general reviews on some of these?)
5 out of 10

About a Boy (the book)

I adored this book more than was healthy. I laughed and sympathized and giggled and everything throughout. Well-written, brilliantly paced and a delight to read. Sardonic humor and very likeable characters though I admit to having Hugh Grant's character speaking like Hugh Grant in my head. (Perfect casting choice on that, btw)

I loved the flow of this and just really enjoyed it. Movie/book, either are favorites of mine.
8 out of 10

Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

A very fun read as Artemis is now hitting puberty and, by the end of the book, is legal. Artemis/Butler FTW. I really liked the set-up of this one as it just kept going and flowing. Brilliantly paced and very fun. In true Artemis Fowl writing – the evil dude was over the top and hilarious to watch stumbling about. Well worth the wait from the library.

Poor Butler for losing Artemis for three (or four, can't remember and I just read it on Saturday) years and having to deal with that. It makes me sad for him. I really really like Butler in all the books as he softens a bit towards Artemis. He's less just bodyguard and more friend ~~bring on the slash~~.

I liked the girlfriend too. She's very cute and I like how Artemis taught her a lesson about what she was playing with and that she could become a little girl instead of "just a genius". I'm really looking forward to what the twins are (if they're super geniuses as well). I can't wait to see how Artemis explains how he has one of Holly's eyeballs either.

The demon warlock dude was really fun too. I liked No.1 as well. In fact, I liked Abbot even if he was the bad dude in this. He made me giggle with his over-the-topness.

In conclusion – a very enjoyable romp and fun for a Saturday afternoon.
9 out of 10

The following three books are a series and, thus, are reviewed together as a series as I basically read them back to back and the details have blurred.

Uglies, Pretties, Specials by Scott Westerfeld

In the future (after all us Rusties get burnt up by the bug that eats the fuel and makes the world explode) – the governments of the few remaining cities enforce a code of behavior. Uglies are kept dumb and isolated and the coolest thing evah is to turn Pretty at 16 and turn into a bubble-headed moron. Only catch, there are these lesions you get on your brain to keep you a bubble-headed moron.

Tally is the main character. She's likeable though she keeps making mistakes. Shay is her BFF and, in the end, is also her protagonist. David is the first love interest and then there's another one that I can't remember.

The books all keep moving and the pacing is excellent. There's action and political commentary and it's all done with a 16 year olds thoughts. It really reads like author was really a 16 year old girl and not a middle-aged man. She makes realistic lapses in judgment even while she's trying to save the world. I really enjoyed the series as a whole.

Here's my complaint… the author had a chance to have a brilliant resolution to the "love interest" triangle thing and, instead, took the cop-out by killing off one of them. I was really disappointed in that. After all the creative plot twists throughout the story, it was a real letdown to just have one of them killed off in a cheesy sort of way.

That being said, I like David and the way that he teaches Tally that there's more to life than beauty. I like the way he walks the line between respecting nature and having to make use of it. He's a very well fleshed out character that I cheered for throughout. Actually, I even liked Peris – the bubble-headed best friend.

I didn't like Shay as she kept blaming Tally for everything that went wrong. Accept some personal responsibility there honey. You're not the end all be all of her life. However, the author still fleshed her out as believable as well.

The cutting thing got to me. Shay, to stop being a empty shell, starts cutting herself with the rest of the Cutters. They make this huge ceremony out of it and that just squicked me. I'm not a fan of bloodplay so this was just squicky.

The subtle subversion of the system was cool. The "Crims" were a fantastic idea and I loved how they worked within the system to actually bring the system down. They pulled this one stunt in "Pretties" that brought down a huge floating ice rink. That was very very cool and a really creative idea.

The series was supposed to be a trilogy but the author's just finished another book - "Extras" – so I'll be checking that out of the library as well.

In conclusion – liked it but was disappointed in the ending. Unfortunately, the disappointing thing can't be resolved so I don't have high hopes for the next book. I do, sort of, feel bad for the author as he posted about finishing the book on his blog and all the comments were all "I thought Specials finished it up really nicely, though".
Uglies - 9 out of 10
Pretties – 9 out of 10
Specials – 8 out of 10

And I'm caught up! I've reviewed 16 movies and 22 books so far this year. Thus, I have 34 movies and 28 books to go for the year. I'm just a little bit ahead of schedule!