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Day of Remembrance
Oct. 5th, 2010 10:52 pmWith the recent spate of suicides, I'm fairly enraged and depressed and disheartened. It's nice seeing the Spirit Day Remembrance on October 20th. My question is - what are we going to do on October 19th? What about October 21st? What about January 3rd?
I don't mean this as a slight to the thought behind the Spirit Day Remembrance. It's a great, unifying action and I'll be wearing purple on that day.
Thing is, though, one unifying action, no matter how great, isn't a change in behavior. It's not a change in habit and it can be easily forgotten (not that I'm saying it will be).
I'd like to see a change in behavior, a change in habit, a unifying ongoing action. My suggestion is kindness. The next time someone holds a door open for you, smile at them and say thank you. The next time you're standing in line with hundreds of groceries and the person behind you has one, smile at them and offer to better their day so they don't have to wait for you. When someone says 'hello' to you, smile and say hello back.
You don't know what sort of day someone's having and that small act of kindness could very well make their day. I've had days where the only thing that was keeping me going was the idea that it took less energy to get through it than to end it and no one could've known but, thank the maker for the woman who held the door for me with a smile and a quick "anytime!" and for the guy that let me in front of him in line so I could get home and away from everything awful in my life. Thank the maker for the guy that let me out in traffic or the person who smiled at me and asked me how my day was going. Thank you to the person that bought my pop and the guy that offered to fill my tire when all I wanted to do was cry, hunched down beside my car in a Circle K parking lot because a flat tire was the straw that broke the camel's back as far as I was concerned.
Show you care about your fellow human beings every day.
If you have the time, volunteer for organizations. Obviously, I'm partial to animal welfare and LGBT organizations. Deliver meals to those suffering from AIDS. Work with troubled youth. Work with Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Teach a hobby at your local youth center. Walk dogs at your local shelter and/or pet cats. Read to kids at the library or go through your stuff and donate what you don't use anymore (do you really fit into those jeans anymore? really?). Reach out and show that you care, every freaking day.
Get involved. It only takes a moment to send a letter to your congressperson and/or senator to tell them to support anti-bullying legislation that specifically protects LGBT youth. It's called the Safe Schools Improvement Act. It doesn't matter who your senator is, get involved (and I'm speaking as someone with John McCain and John Kyl as their senators here, so I've got the bigots and I'm still sending the letters). Hold them accountable.
Vote. Find out what officials are up for election and see what ones are LGBT friendly. Human Rights Campaign has a great way of doing it. Turns out that only one of my elected officials is endorsed. Guess who I'm not voting for - John McCain, John Kyl and Jan Brewer. Way to go, Gabrielle Giffords!
Stop saying "that's so gay" and ask others, too. When you say that, you are saying that "gay" = "stupid", "dumb", "ugly" and/or "awful". You are using a unique identifier as an insult and you are actively participating in a bullying culture.
Speak up. Where would Tyler Clementi have been if anyone had reached out to him and showed they cared? What would've happened if just one person watching that Twitter feed had spoken up and shut down the broadcast? What would've happened if one person would've said STFU to the bullying dumbfucks in any of the suicides? Would Seth Walsh, Billy Lucas or Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover be here right now if we would stick up for people when we see awful things happening?
Because one day is a fantastic show of solidarity but what do we do afterwards? Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover died on April 6th, 2009 and cries for stronger approaches to bullying happened then. We had the National Day of Silence (coincidentally on his birthday, April 17th, 2009) and what happened after that? What's happened since? Just more of the same if not even worse things. Let's not just talk the talk, let's walk the walk.
You want a kinder world? The world starts with you. It might only cost you a smile and a second's worth of time.
I don't mean this as a slight to the thought behind the Spirit Day Remembrance. It's a great, unifying action and I'll be wearing purple on that day.
Thing is, though, one unifying action, no matter how great, isn't a change in behavior. It's not a change in habit and it can be easily forgotten (not that I'm saying it will be).
I'd like to see a change in behavior, a change in habit, a unifying ongoing action. My suggestion is kindness. The next time someone holds a door open for you, smile at them and say thank you. The next time you're standing in line with hundreds of groceries and the person behind you has one, smile at them and offer to better their day so they don't have to wait for you. When someone says 'hello' to you, smile and say hello back.
You don't know what sort of day someone's having and that small act of kindness could very well make their day. I've had days where the only thing that was keeping me going was the idea that it took less energy to get through it than to end it and no one could've known but, thank the maker for the woman who held the door for me with a smile and a quick "anytime!" and for the guy that let me in front of him in line so I could get home and away from everything awful in my life. Thank the maker for the guy that let me out in traffic or the person who smiled at me and asked me how my day was going. Thank you to the person that bought my pop and the guy that offered to fill my tire when all I wanted to do was cry, hunched down beside my car in a Circle K parking lot because a flat tire was the straw that broke the camel's back as far as I was concerned.
Show you care about your fellow human beings every day.
If you have the time, volunteer for organizations. Obviously, I'm partial to animal welfare and LGBT organizations. Deliver meals to those suffering from AIDS. Work with troubled youth. Work with Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Teach a hobby at your local youth center. Walk dogs at your local shelter and/or pet cats. Read to kids at the library or go through your stuff and donate what you don't use anymore (do you really fit into those jeans anymore? really?). Reach out and show that you care, every freaking day.
Get involved. It only takes a moment to send a letter to your congressperson and/or senator to tell them to support anti-bullying legislation that specifically protects LGBT youth. It's called the Safe Schools Improvement Act. It doesn't matter who your senator is, get involved (and I'm speaking as someone with John McCain and John Kyl as their senators here, so I've got the bigots and I'm still sending the letters). Hold them accountable.
Vote. Find out what officials are up for election and see what ones are LGBT friendly. Human Rights Campaign has a great way of doing it. Turns out that only one of my elected officials is endorsed. Guess who I'm not voting for - John McCain, John Kyl and Jan Brewer. Way to go, Gabrielle Giffords!
Stop saying "that's so gay" and ask others, too. When you say that, you are saying that "gay" = "stupid", "dumb", "ugly" and/or "awful". You are using a unique identifier as an insult and you are actively participating in a bullying culture.
Speak up. Where would Tyler Clementi have been if anyone had reached out to him and showed they cared? What would've happened if just one person watching that Twitter feed had spoken up and shut down the broadcast? What would've happened if one person would've said STFU to the bullying dumbfucks in any of the suicides? Would Seth Walsh, Billy Lucas or Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover be here right now if we would stick up for people when we see awful things happening?
Because one day is a fantastic show of solidarity but what do we do afterwards? Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover died on April 6th, 2009 and cries for stronger approaches to bullying happened then. We had the National Day of Silence (coincidentally on his birthday, April 17th, 2009) and what happened after that? What's happened since? Just more of the same if not even worse things. Let's not just talk the talk, let's walk the walk.
You want a kinder world? The world starts with you. It might only cost you a smile and a second's worth of time.
