Interlude - Fear (H/D) (PG)
Oct. 19th, 2005 12:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wook77The promised interlude. This was written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
se_spotwood's Fright Fest Challenge
Your fic or art must have a scary theme. (death not required) It must take place on or very near Halloween. Both slash and het are welcome. Fics must be 500 words minimum.
Story details:
Title: Fear
Rating: PG
Pairing: H/D
Warnings: Phobia, Self-Harm (due to phobia), Hurt/Comfort, mild Fluff
Summary: Set in my Voice in the Dark WiP, Harry is forced to confront his fear.
A/N: This might not be scary for any of you. However, the situation described is my phobia and my worst fear so it's quite scary for me. This is set between Parts 3 & 4 of Voice in the Dark.
As always, concrit welcomed with open arms!
Also archived at: Skyehawke and The Hex Files
Previous parts located HERE
“Hello?” Harry’s voice was small. He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was afraid of being left alone in the dark but he was. In fact, he was terrified. This time of the year had always been rough for him, bad things happened near Halloween. His blindness was one of the worst. He was stuck in a never-ending sea of dark and the idea that he would never see again exacerbated his fear of the dark.
“Draco?” No one answered him back.
“Madame Pomfrey?” It was a long shot but Harry really needed someone there. No, Harry corrected himself, he wanted Draco. He wanted his Voice back. It was scary being alone in the dark. Harry was adapting to being blind, or at least he was trying, but in the middle of the night, it was scary.
It was a fear he didn’t want to admit to, but he was afraid of the dark. The dark reminded him of years of not being loved. It reminded him of the cupboard under the stairs. It reminded him of being a freak. It took him back to a time when his parents were dead in a vehicle accident and he was alone with the Dursleys. Harry hated the dark but he hated his fear more.
“Anyone? Is there anyone there?” Harry’s fear was starting to magnify.
“Please?” The last was a whispered plea. Harry’s breath became shallow pants as he confronted his fear of the dark. The idea that he was in a bedroom disappeared and all Harry could think was that he was back in his cupboard.
As Harry lay there, he could feel the slight crawling on his skin. He brushed his hands up and down his arms and his legs. Shaking took over his whole body. He could feel the spiders crawling all over him. Truly trying his best, Harry kept concentrating on the fact that he was seventeen, not five, that he was in a warm bedroom in his own house and not in a small chilly cupboard, that the scratchy feeling was from a wool blanket, not insects and spiders crawling on him.
His fear started to overwhelm his rational mind. It was dark and scary and he was a child. Nails scored his arms and legs in frantic gestures. In places, Harry’s nails cut through and he started to bleed. The blood added to the crawling sensation and he raked and rubbed harder and harder at his torso and appendages.
The crawling feeling moved into his hair. Soon, his hands were raking across his scalp. They tore through his hair and started pulling and wrenching. Warm blood trickled behind his ear from the cuts. Harry scrubbed all the harder because he could feel the insects trying to get into his ears. They were marching down his neck, behind his ear.
Whimpers sounded from his terrified figure as it lay shivering on the bed. The guttural sounds didn’t translate into words as Harry continued to abuse his body. Blankets were kicked off in the midst of the terror. Legs kicked and shook in the air to try to dislodge the night frights possessing his body.
“Someone? Please, let me out. I won’t do it again. Please, someone?” In his frantic terror, Harry didn’t hear the door open. He didn’t hear the footsteps racing over to him.
“Harry? I’m here. Come on now, Harry. Everything’s fine.” A gentle hand rubbed up and down Harry’s side as he trembled on the bed. The other hand pushed Harry’s legs back onto the bed.
The bed sank a little as Draco sat on the edge. It continued to shift as Draco moved to lean against the headboard. Harry crawled over and put his head in the lap. Draco’s hands brushed over Harry’s hair. It soothed the scratches and comforted Harry.
“Don’t leave me alone in the dark.”
“I would never do that, Harry. It’s alright now, I’m here. Go back to sleep.” Draco moved so that he was lying down. Harry curled around Draco.
“Will you be here?” Harry hated the fact that he sounded like he was five years old. He stopped hating himself when Draco put his arms around him. Being held like this made everything better.
“Where else would I be?”
On to PART 4
ETA: I have been asked to expand on the phobia. I am absolutely phobic about bugs. I have actually passed out in mid-scream when a swarm of ants crawled up my arm. Harry's reaction is actually a discription of my own personal experiences. In the past, I've actually pulled out hair and given myself horrible cuts because I can feel "them" crawling on me. After quite a bit of counseling, I'm not quite as phobic as I was when I was younger (ie college days). So, although maybe not your experience, Harry's reaction is quite appropriate and accurate for my own experiences.
Request - Anyone talented at making icons want to make me an icon that says "Voice in the Dark"? I'll love you forever and will gladly sing your praises! I'm willing to bribe within reason...
Finally - a recc of a story I just finished reading.cutecoati wrote Borrowed Time. This story is OMG beautiful and tragic. Posted at the ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
wizard_trauma community, it is in response to the challenge of "Character A deals with the loss of a spouse/significant other". Draco deals with the loss of Harry (obvious warning: Character Death). By the end, I had tears streaming down my face. I'm now splotchy faced and it's all cutecoati's fault.
se_spotwood's Fright Fest ChallengeYour fic or art must have a scary theme. (death not required) It must take place on or very near Halloween. Both slash and het are welcome. Fics must be 500 words minimum.
Story details:
Title: Fear
Rating: PG
Pairing: H/D
Warnings: Phobia, Self-Harm (due to phobia), Hurt/Comfort, mild Fluff
Summary: Set in my Voice in the Dark WiP, Harry is forced to confront his fear.
A/N: This might not be scary for any of you. However, the situation described is my phobia and my worst fear so it's quite scary for me. This is set between Parts 3 & 4 of Voice in the Dark.
As always, concrit welcomed with open arms!
Also archived at: Skyehawke and The Hex Files
Previous parts located HERE
“Hello?” Harry’s voice was small. He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was afraid of being left alone in the dark but he was. In fact, he was terrified. This time of the year had always been rough for him, bad things happened near Halloween. His blindness was one of the worst. He was stuck in a never-ending sea of dark and the idea that he would never see again exacerbated his fear of the dark.
“Draco?” No one answered him back.
“Madame Pomfrey?” It was a long shot but Harry really needed someone there. No, Harry corrected himself, he wanted Draco. He wanted his Voice back. It was scary being alone in the dark. Harry was adapting to being blind, or at least he was trying, but in the middle of the night, it was scary.
It was a fear he didn’t want to admit to, but he was afraid of the dark. The dark reminded him of years of not being loved. It reminded him of the cupboard under the stairs. It reminded him of being a freak. It took him back to a time when his parents were dead in a vehicle accident and he was alone with the Dursleys. Harry hated the dark but he hated his fear more.
“Anyone? Is there anyone there?” Harry’s fear was starting to magnify.
“Please?” The last was a whispered plea. Harry’s breath became shallow pants as he confronted his fear of the dark. The idea that he was in a bedroom disappeared and all Harry could think was that he was back in his cupboard.
As Harry lay there, he could feel the slight crawling on his skin. He brushed his hands up and down his arms and his legs. Shaking took over his whole body. He could feel the spiders crawling all over him. Truly trying his best, Harry kept concentrating on the fact that he was seventeen, not five, that he was in a warm bedroom in his own house and not in a small chilly cupboard, that the scratchy feeling was from a wool blanket, not insects and spiders crawling on him.
His fear started to overwhelm his rational mind. It was dark and scary and he was a child. Nails scored his arms and legs in frantic gestures. In places, Harry’s nails cut through and he started to bleed. The blood added to the crawling sensation and he raked and rubbed harder and harder at his torso and appendages.
The crawling feeling moved into his hair. Soon, his hands were raking across his scalp. They tore through his hair and started pulling and wrenching. Warm blood trickled behind his ear from the cuts. Harry scrubbed all the harder because he could feel the insects trying to get into his ears. They were marching down his neck, behind his ear.
Whimpers sounded from his terrified figure as it lay shivering on the bed. The guttural sounds didn’t translate into words as Harry continued to abuse his body. Blankets were kicked off in the midst of the terror. Legs kicked and shook in the air to try to dislodge the night frights possessing his body.
“Someone? Please, let me out. I won’t do it again. Please, someone?” In his frantic terror, Harry didn’t hear the door open. He didn’t hear the footsteps racing over to him.
“Harry? I’m here. Come on now, Harry. Everything’s fine.” A gentle hand rubbed up and down Harry’s side as he trembled on the bed. The other hand pushed Harry’s legs back onto the bed.
The bed sank a little as Draco sat on the edge. It continued to shift as Draco moved to lean against the headboard. Harry crawled over and put his head in the lap. Draco’s hands brushed over Harry’s hair. It soothed the scratches and comforted Harry.
“Don’t leave me alone in the dark.”
“I would never do that, Harry. It’s alright now, I’m here. Go back to sleep.” Draco moved so that he was lying down. Harry curled around Draco.
“Will you be here?” Harry hated the fact that he sounded like he was five years old. He stopped hating himself when Draco put his arms around him. Being held like this made everything better.
“Where else would I be?”
On to PART 4
ETA: I have been asked to expand on the phobia. I am absolutely phobic about bugs. I have actually passed out in mid-scream when a swarm of ants crawled up my arm. Harry's reaction is actually a discription of my own personal experiences. In the past, I've actually pulled out hair and given myself horrible cuts because I can feel "them" crawling on me. After quite a bit of counseling, I'm not quite as phobic as I was when I was younger (ie college days). So, although maybe not your experience, Harry's reaction is quite appropriate and accurate for my own experiences.
Request - Anyone talented at making icons want to make me an icon that says "Voice in the Dark"? I'll love you forever and will gladly sing your praises! I'm willing to bribe within reason...
Finally - a recc of a story I just finished reading.
cutecoati wrote Borrowed Time. This story is OMG beautiful and tragic. Posted at the wizard_trauma community, it is in response to the challenge of "Character A deals with the loss of a spouse/significant other". Draco deals with the loss of Harry (obvious warning: Character Death). By the end, I had tears streaming down my face. I'm now splotchy faced and it's all cutecoati's fault.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 08:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 12:20 am (UTC)Sorry about the creepy crawlies... this was actually cathartic to me as I've actually done what Harry does (prolly why it was so well described).
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 11:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 12:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 12:23 am (UTC)I most certainly do not mind if you friend me :) I think you're already my friend... stress think.
Fear
Date: 2005-10-19 11:59 pm (UTC)Hugs & my best wishes on your Birthday, by the way :o)
Reina
Re: Fear
Date: 2005-10-20 12:30 am (UTC)Ambos ellos necesitan el otro. Los lectores (readers) averiguarán pronto.
Este "Interlude" era muy dificil por lo escribo. Es muy muy muy cercano a mi corazon y mi mente (cabeza?)
(Espero que yo traduzco apropiadamente.)
Re: Fear
Date: 2005-10-20 12:31 am (UTC)Re: Fear
Date: 2005-10-20 02:33 am (UTC)So, Harry doesn’t realize he’s been stupid with that inappropriate and childish” ;o) comment? Not surprised there… Well I am glad we will find soon how much they’ll need each other :o)
I am sorry to hear about the Entomophobia. I may be suffering from “a little bit” of Anthropophobia ;o) and like you, derived by my own experiences... Just remember that phobias are extremely common; sometimes they start in childhood for no apparent reason; sometimes they emerge after a traumatic event; and sometimes they develop from an attempt to make sense of an unexpected and intense anxiety or panic. I apologize if I’m out of line, but maybe it will be a good idea to keep in mind that our multi-legged friends are very important to the function of many ecological systems, i.e. they are important for food for other animals, controlling pests and there are many that function as valuable decomposers; literally they make our lives possible. Therefore, if you try to have a sense of appreciation for them, although you don't have to love every single one of them, dealing with the apprehension may get easier…. It’s just my “Nosy” but "caring" opinion…
Hugs,
Reina
PS. How will you celebrate your Birthday?
Re: Fear
Date: 2005-10-20 12:17 pm (UTC)Aprecio el concierne. Los insectos me molestan pero el temor está bajo control ahora. Fui a aconsejar despues que yo acabe en el hospital para un temor indujo el estado catatónico. (I admit to using a translating software on the "catatonico")
Squeeee! The first entry!
Date: 2005-10-20 12:39 am (UTC)Thanks so much for writing for the challenge. I am saving the link to read the previous parts when I get a chance.
I love Draco comforting Harry. I can just imagine Harry's fear...I can see him freaking out. I love the image of him with his head in Draco's lap.
Well Done!
Here is your banner:
Re: Squeeee! The first entry!
Date: 2005-10-20 12:19 pm (UTC)I'm so glad you enjoyed and thought it fit... wasn't completely sure.
I'm quite fond of Harry's head in Draco's lap myself ;)
no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 01:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 12:20 pm (UTC)I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. That makes my day!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 04:32 am (UTC)As for the fic, wonderful writing, even though the subject matter bugged me. See? If I can joke about it, it isn't so bad.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 12:22 pm (UTC)Earwigs, though, are the worst for me. When I was a kid, they used to lay eggsacs in my stuffed animals and we had to either pluck the egg sacs out or throw the stuffed animal out. That really did NOT help the phobia.
I loved the joke, it made me giggle! I'm glad you're enjoying!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-21 12:41 am (UTC)I get earwigs in the house here, also, although not too bad. Mostly in the bathroom. They are grotesque little things. Right now, we're dealing with the post-harvest-Indian-summer invasion of Asian beetles. Rotten little blighters!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 08:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 02:53 pm (UTC)arachnids and ants. arachnids cos spiders ... yeah, not ready to deal with that, but the rest of 'em are just as bad. luck it's too cold for scorpions were i live, but ticks? ick ick ick! my cat is forever ratting and i have to pull them off (sometimes burn 'em if they're big arse 'roo ticks) whilst trying not to vomit and freak him out more ....
and ants? i was moving bales of hay 'round our half acre block for the parentals one day i happened to get a pile that had been there for a while and was infested with ants - of many kinds, piss ants and sugar ants and jack jumpers for good measure. i didn't realise how many ants were there until i looked down to see that my forearms and hands were literally crawling with black bodies that glinted in the sun.
ick ick ick ...
loving voice in the dark though. i think what makes it special is the whole 'voice' thing, it seems more personal than harry thinking of malfoy as 'draco' ... um, yeah
no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 08:24 pm (UTC)My "swarm of ants" story is:
I was baking at my apartment (which is out in the desert where we have fire ants, the ones that'll kill ya, whatever you call 'em). Anyway, I opened up the sugar container and had to really reach in there to scoop the sugar. Well, these fire ants swarmed up my arm and started biting and kept coming. I start screaming, bf comes in and is like "WTF?" and I keep screaming and then I finally look to see my arm engulfed in ants. So, mid scream, went catatonic, got taken to the hospital and I stayed catatonic for almost 4 hours. After that, I was ordered into therapy and have since been able to transfer from the freak out fear to the must-kill-them-all fear. I view it as an improvement but others aren't so kind.
But, back to the Voice in the Dark story, the Voice/Draco thing comes up in part 5 again. Harry's a softie like that.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-20 08:25 pm (UTC)Seriously though, I really appreciate your comments on everything. You always point out what I do well and keep me focused on repeating that level. Thanks so much for reading and commenting all the time.
i hope you like it!
Date: 2005-10-23 07:02 pm (UTC)-Meg
Re: i hope you like it!
Date: 2005-10-24 03:21 am (UTC)Re: i hope you like it!
Date: 2005-10-24 03:31 am (UTC)bugs
Date: 2005-10-24 06:01 pm (UTC)Re: bugs
Date: 2005-10-24 08:15 pm (UTC)bugs are freaky and just icky. I know they do good stuff for the world but ugh, do they have to do it near me?
no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 11:50 pm (UTC)Please, let me out. I won’t do it again.
So much like a frightened child that I felt my throat constrict. How awful for Harry to be overtaken by his fear/phobia to the extent that rational thought flew out of the window. Well done for putting your phobia into this fic, it can't have been easy. You certainly conveyed Harry's fear well in this story.
I shall go and check out your rec after I've got my tissues. Now you need to read
no subject
Date: 2005-11-05 04:35 am (UTC)