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I've written a quick one-shot for the AWDT Challenge over at [livejournal.com profile] jamie2109's journal. AWDT is sponsored by [livejournal.com profile] jamie2109 and [livejournal.com profile] nocturnali. This week's prompt was "we're all going to die". So, I present you my quick ficlet. I'm not sure about it as it's not quite what I wanted. It's also 1st Person, as a bit of warning.

So, without further ado... here are the details and the fic.

Title: Childhood's Over
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: H/D
Word Count: 396
Warnings: Angst, mentions of death (no one actually dies in it, honest. Also, this has a happy-ish ending)
Summary: Childhood's over the the moment you know you're going to die. (From the Crow). Draco reflects on his childhood.
A/N: Inspiration for this fic comes from the above quotation. If I have time, I may write one of these from Harry's POV (hopefully it'll be even better).


I was forced to watch a Muggle movie with Harry. The movie was quite good, although I shall never admit it to him. I don’t remember much, I spent most of the movie attempting to seduce Potter, but I do remember one line.

Childhood's over the moment you know that you're going to die.

That line has haunted me for weeks. I’ve gone over it in my head thousands and millions of times. What does it mean? What does it mean for Harry? What does it mean for me?

For Harry, his childhood was over when he faced Voldemort for the first time and watched his mother die protecting him. For me, my childhood ended when I met Voldemort for the first time. He had to be the ugliest fucker I’ve ever seen. My skin crawled as I was forced to kneel and accept the task of murdering Albus Dumbledore.

I knew, then, that I was going to die. We’re all going to die. As I bowed and accepted the task, my mother stood in a circle of Death Eaters, wands pointed at her head and chest. As I bowed, Voldemort touched the back of my neck and a shiver of fear and revulsion raced through my body.

I may have accepted my own mortality and that of everyone, but I couldn’t become a murderer. Albus Dumbledore was smarter than I, much more observant than I. It shocked me to realize that this man, the man I’d had very little interaction with, knew me better than I knew myself. I was ashamed that my wand shook and dropped at the time. Now, however, I’m proud. I’m proud of the fact that I couldn’t kill a brave man in cold blood.

I may have been a Death Eater, I may have set in motion the first invasion of Hogwarts of the Second War, I may have betrayed my family and my blood but I’m not a murderer. That comforts me in the quiet hours of the dawn when Harry isn’t around to hold me as I shake from the nightmares. That reassures me when I feel unworthy of the love of the Saviour. That consoles me as I sob in isolation for the friends that have died. That relieves me as I confront my own mortality.

We’re all going to die but, thankfully, not at my hand.

Date: 2005-10-13 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yodels.livejournal.com
a very serious take on the prompt. I like it. Those last few lines are quite powerful.

Well done.

Date: 2005-10-13 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
thank you for your kind comments! I'm so glad you enjoyed! The last few lines are really the only bit I was sure on... the rest seems almost resigned and that wasn't the emotion I was going for... oh well, craptacular day and all, I guess I have an excuse ;)

Date: 2005-10-13 04:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yodels.livejournal.com
resigned is not the feeling i got.

sorry about the bad day. *chocolate?*

Date: 2005-10-13 04:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
yes thanks. I have a tension headache that wasn't helped by the screaming row I had when I got home. sometimes, a person just can't win... your offer of chocolate makes it much much better.

I'm glad it's reading different for ya...I won't tweak it then ;)

Date: 2005-10-13 04:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yodels.livejournal.com
I find that reading something smutty often makes me feel better. There's plenty out there today.

Date: 2005-10-13 03:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
I like your thinking... I shall do that!

Date: 2005-10-13 02:19 am (UTC)
ext_17435: (dragon)
From: [identity profile] incapricious.livejournal.com
Wook! This is very powerful. Such an interesting way to show Draco's feelings, at some point in the future, about what happened in HBP. (The poor baby has nightmares! *consoles Draco*)

What do you mean, it's not quite what you wanted?

Date: 2005-10-13 03:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
I wanted a bit more emotion and it almost seems a calm recitation of facts.

That line has always haunted me... it's my favorite line from The Crow, which has a million great lines.

Date: 2005-10-13 04:06 am (UTC)
ext_17435: (evil bitch)
From: [identity profile] incapricious.livejournal.com
Hmmm... I don't think it seemed like a calm recitation of facts... it sounded like Draco's thoughts, like he was thinking things through. I don't know how to say it, maybe it almost sounds like a journal entry? Like he has considered carefully what he wants to say, and then wrote it down. But I don't think that detracts from the experience of reading it. I think in order to really show Draco's emotional reaction to the things he is thinking, though, he almost has to be talking to someone, so you can narrate his expression, tone of voice, etc. But I'm not sure that would convey the story you want better than how you did it.

Nice icon :D

Date: 2005-10-13 04:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
yeah, this wonderful lady made the icon... I adore it. I've been using it all over the place. Nice icon back at ya...actually, I showed a friend of mine the picture/rating and she laughed and said it actually did look a bit like me except for the lips... which cracked me up.

Yeah, I really didn't want anyone else in the story... too many emotions and people flitting around for a quick one-shot. You're right, it does sound a bit like a journal entry... Draco has always struck me as an analytical person (even if his plans to get Harry leave alot to be desired)... so maybe a good feel to it after all.

Date: 2005-10-13 04:41 am (UTC)
ext_17435: (Default)
From: [identity profile] incapricious.livejournal.com
Yes, it does have a good feel to it!

I'm glad you're using the icon! *loves* That's funny that your friend thought it looked like you. Hee. :)

Date: 2005-10-13 03:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeejunkii.livejournal.com
excellent.

being the hopeless romantic that i am, i obviously love that harry is there to comfort draco, at least some of the time.

Date: 2005-10-13 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
:) that was my favorite line... I just had to sneak some H/Dness in there. A story isn't complete unless it features the cutest couple evah.

Thanks for the wonderful comments!

Date: 2005-10-13 04:43 am (UTC)
ext_17435: (harry draco sometimes I want you to touc)
From: [identity profile] incapricious.livejournal.com
A story isn't complete unless it features the cutest couple evah

Amen!

Date: 2005-10-13 05:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lusiology.livejournal.com
That line has haunted me for weeks

The film haunted me for weeks due to the tragedy of the plot and Brandon Lee. *sniffles*

Loved your take on the prompt, the power of the last paragraph is superb. Of course Draco deserves the love of the 'saviour', no one else comes even close to being enough for Harry.

Date: 2005-10-13 03:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
Thanks :)

I'll agree with you... there is simply no one good enough for harry other than draco.

The last bit is my favorite part, so I'm super glad you liked it!

BTW, much icon love....mmmm, pornstar harry.

Date: 2005-10-13 04:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lusiology.livejournal.com
Isn't he drop dead gorgeous? *sighs* I've found a film with him in but I think it's illegal to import hard gay porn into the UK from the US and I've not worked up the courage to ask hubby yet.

Date: 2005-10-13 05:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
I'd offer to sneak it in a box of something else for you... maybe the box won't get picked ;)

He is quite yummy. mmmmmmm

Date: 2005-10-13 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lusiology.livejournal.com
Let me think about that. Maybe I could send an alternative box to put it in.

Date: 2005-10-13 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
let me know and I'll send it to you... I'll admit, I ordered that Hunter and Damon video.....mmmmm, I can't wait until it comes (err, no pun intended)

Date: 2005-10-13 08:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silentauror.livejournal.com
Oh, this is beautiful. I love the last line. It's left me in this wonderful, wordless place, and I thank you. ♥

Date: 2005-10-13 03:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
Yeah! I'm so glad you liked it! ooohhh, wonderful AND wordless? that can't happen, you have fic to write ;)

But, I'm super happy and shall now commence the dance of joy, pardon the broken plates.

Date: 2005-10-13 11:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silentauror.livejournal.com
Well, not non-fic wordless. :D Just not-able-to-review-properly wordless, ha ha! ♥

Yay, happy!dance!

Date: 2005-10-13 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sugareey.livejournal.com
oohhh lovvveee! i really liked draco's POV. and i think i would like harry's POV to compare to. it makes it interesting. wheee!

Date: 2005-10-13 05:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
I've been scribbling on Harry's POV but not sure if I'll get it done in time.

I'm glad you enjoyed! You make me smile! (well, you and your icon ;) )

Date: 2005-10-16 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drusillas-rain.livejournal.com
beautifully done

Date: 2005-10-18 05:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
Thanks! This one was a bit hard for me.

Date: 2005-10-17 05:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com
Amazing and wonderful. I liked Draco's point of view. I also liked that you had him feeling good about his inability to kill Dumbledore. Most writers choose to make him ashamed of that.

Sorry you've had a bad day. Hope it gets better. No, scratch that. It will get better!

Date: 2005-10-18 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it! I have a Harry POV at the beta right now so when that comes back, I'll be posting it.

At first, he might be ashamed of his inability but I think after really contemplating his life, he'd eventually be proud of the fact that he couldn't kill an unarmed man,I would be.

My life has gotten pretty good (my boss is on vacation and ALL my office mates are out sick so I have the office all to myself, w00t!)

Date: 2005-10-17 03:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nocturnali.livejournal.com
Wonderfully written.

And I wonder if...
Guess we'll find out next book, huh?

Thank you.

Date: 2005-10-18 05:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked! I wonder also what will happen. I really don't want to see Draco die and for some reason, I keep getting the feeling from JKR and her "you all are getting way too attached to Draco" comments that we won't have much of a chance :((

Date: 2005-10-17 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kabal42.livejournal.com
I always loved that line from The Crow as well, it is such a powerful realisation - and very true. I very much like what you did with it (and with the prompt too), this is equally powerful and it touched me.
This one will stay with me, I think.
Thanks for writing it.

Date: 2005-10-18 05:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
I remember when I saw that movie going "OMG". Harry's POV with the same prompt and line is coming (it's at the beta's...)

I'm so glad you liked it! Staying with you, squee!

Date: 2005-10-19 06:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kabal42.livejournal.com
Oh, great! Since I've been offline for a while (broken line *yikes*) I bette check at once :-D

Date: 2005-10-17 11:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gloriousgentry.livejournal.com
Wow. Quite moving. I like it. The last line is rocking.

Gloriousgentry

Date: 2005-10-18 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wook77.livejournal.com
am very very glad you liked it! I liked the last line myself (and then quickly followed that thought up with, is it too cheesy?)

Date: 2005-10-19 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gloriousgentry.livejournal.com
If that is cheesy, pass the crackers!!

Gloriousgentry

Date: 2005-11-05 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snottygrrl.livejournal.com
nice use of the prompt, sweets.

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