Resolution Reviews
Jan. 11th, 2007 10:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wook77Same format as before. Same disclaimer as well.
The Break-up
This wasn't very realistic (I don't get the whole staying there and waiting for Vince Vaughn to kick you in the teeth repeatedly thing) but it was well acted and had some good lines. I liked the bartender friend, especially when he tells Vince's character off. The yelling and the shouting seemed very natural. Like I said, I don't get the whole sticking around waiting for the repeated kick to the teeth. By the time the concert for the Old 97's rolled around, I knew he wasn't going to show and I knew she was going to cry about it.
It would be a 7 out of 10 but I saw Vince Vaughn shirtless and that was too much for me.
6 out of 10
Cars
Disney film. I don't really need to say anything else, do I? It's the same regurgitated dreck they pump out once a year. Main character is a spiteful jerk. Main character learns a less. Main character goes BWEEE I'm a boy! I'm a real live boy! Oh, wait, that was some other Disney movie or cartoon.
Cute for kids, boring as fuck for me.
4 out of 10
Find Me Guilty
I had some hopes that Vin Diesel might someday actually act instead of just making me stare at his pecs and wonder how long we can shag up against a wall what with those massive biceps. I was wrong and after making myself sit through the whole fucking thing, I have to say that he was suddenly unattractive to me. I even looked at the picture of him in the shower where he's all ZOMG NEKKID and I just couldn't quite recapture my love of Vin. Not only did Vin have a receding hairline, a paunch and a horrible accent that faded in and out, he looked tired and old. In fact, the only thing more tired and old was the way he delivered his line.
I wanted to file a claim for my money and time back. As there's no way to get my time back, I'm a bit bitter.
2 out of 10
Barnyard
This was funny in a feel good kid movie sort of way. Wanda Syke's cow had some fairly funny lines in it and the fact that the boy cows had udders made me laugh. The high speed pursuit of cows driving a stolen car after pushing a boy out of bed and yelling "BOY TIPPING" was abso-fucking-lutely hilarious.
Other than that, it was the traditional coming of age dreck. Otis's dad dies in his arms, he tries to not accept responsibility, something happens and he accepts responsibility and thusly, saves the day. It was alright but no great shakes. I wouldn't rush out to buy it.
6 out of 10
Borderlands
This book had an interesting premise. The world of Faerie appears on earth once more and there's this place called Borderlands where the magic goes askew and Earth technology some times doesn't work. See? cool premise.
Unfortunately, the implementation was wretched. The series of short stories had great promise but each one had information lacking. For example, in the first one, I didn't get who was talking when at first. There's switching POVs without even an asterick or something to break it apart. There was one that I didn't know the gender of the speaker but from the mannerisms, I thought it a boy and it ended up a girl. The one had someone turning into a monster but through the power of music, she tamed her savage beast but not before she had to force her ALL OF A SUDDEN boyfriend into almost killing her. There was one about artists that I just didn't get. There was one in there about some elfish girl that was born without magic so they sent her out into Borderlands.
Add to it that there was a disjointed timeline (the last story took place the earliest of all of them but spanned longer than any of them) and, well, good premise, bad implementation.
4 out of 10
The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love
This one was well worth the recommendation. It had me in stitches for most of it. I was reading it and the words in my head were in a Southern Accent because of the way it was written. I loved the underlining message of, basically, accept who you are and be your own queen. I liked the stories and the anecdotes and the shit these women pulled. Personally, I've been to Graceland and I would never EVER have the balls to walk across the parking lot in black teddies and hooker shoes. More power to these women that they could.
The style was lyrical and personal, as if you were sitting at a friend's house, sharing stories. I really liked the homespun feel of the story, as well. They're stories that you could've, should've, would've done and possibly did.
This one, I'll second the rec I received and tell you all to go read it for yourself. No review will ever do it justice.
9 out of 10
The Break-up
This wasn't very realistic (I don't get the whole staying there and waiting for Vince Vaughn to kick you in the teeth repeatedly thing) but it was well acted and had some good lines. I liked the bartender friend, especially when he tells Vince's character off. The yelling and the shouting seemed very natural. Like I said, I don't get the whole sticking around waiting for the repeated kick to the teeth. By the time the concert for the Old 97's rolled around, I knew he wasn't going to show and I knew she was going to cry about it.
It would be a 7 out of 10 but I saw Vince Vaughn shirtless and that was too much for me.
6 out of 10
Cars
Disney film. I don't really need to say anything else, do I? It's the same regurgitated dreck they pump out once a year. Main character is a spiteful jerk. Main character learns a less. Main character goes BWEEE I'm a boy! I'm a real live boy! Oh, wait, that was some other Disney movie or cartoon.
Cute for kids, boring as fuck for me.
4 out of 10
Find Me Guilty
I had some hopes that Vin Diesel might someday actually act instead of just making me stare at his pecs and wonder how long we can shag up against a wall what with those massive biceps. I was wrong and after making myself sit through the whole fucking thing, I have to say that he was suddenly unattractive to me. I even looked at the picture of him in the shower where he's all ZOMG NEKKID and I just couldn't quite recapture my love of Vin. Not only did Vin have a receding hairline, a paunch and a horrible accent that faded in and out, he looked tired and old. In fact, the only thing more tired and old was the way he delivered his line.
I wanted to file a claim for my money and time back. As there's no way to get my time back, I'm a bit bitter.
2 out of 10
Barnyard
This was funny in a feel good kid movie sort of way. Wanda Syke's cow had some fairly funny lines in it and the fact that the boy cows had udders made me laugh. The high speed pursuit of cows driving a stolen car after pushing a boy out of bed and yelling "BOY TIPPING" was abso-fucking-lutely hilarious.
Other than that, it was the traditional coming of age dreck. Otis's dad dies in his arms, he tries to not accept responsibility, something happens and he accepts responsibility and thusly, saves the day. It was alright but no great shakes. I wouldn't rush out to buy it.
6 out of 10
Borderlands
This book had an interesting premise. The world of Faerie appears on earth once more and there's this place called Borderlands where the magic goes askew and Earth technology some times doesn't work. See? cool premise.
Unfortunately, the implementation was wretched. The series of short stories had great promise but each one had information lacking. For example, in the first one, I didn't get who was talking when at first. There's switching POVs without even an asterick or something to break it apart. There was one that I didn't know the gender of the speaker but from the mannerisms, I thought it a boy and it ended up a girl. The one had someone turning into a monster but through the power of music, she tamed her savage beast but not before she had to force her ALL OF A SUDDEN boyfriend into almost killing her. There was one about artists that I just didn't get. There was one in there about some elfish girl that was born without magic so they sent her out into Borderlands.
Add to it that there was a disjointed timeline (the last story took place the earliest of all of them but spanned longer than any of them) and, well, good premise, bad implementation.
4 out of 10
The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love
This one was well worth the recommendation. It had me in stitches for most of it. I was reading it and the words in my head were in a Southern Accent because of the way it was written. I loved the underlining message of, basically, accept who you are and be your own queen. I liked the stories and the anecdotes and the shit these women pulled. Personally, I've been to Graceland and I would never EVER have the balls to walk across the parking lot in black teddies and hooker shoes. More power to these women that they could.
The style was lyrical and personal, as if you were sitting at a friend's house, sharing stories. I really liked the homespun feel of the story, as well. They're stories that you could've, should've, would've done and possibly did.
This one, I'll second the rec I received and tell you all to go read it for yourself. No review will ever do it justice.
9 out of 10
