DH SPOILERS: Fic: Love. Beholder.
Jul. 31st, 2007 08:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wook77Title: Love. Beholder.
Fandom: HP
Wordcount: ~2000
Rating: Um... A smidge higher than PG-13 but I wouldn't list it as R... What about PG-15?
Warnings: DH-Spoilers. Het. Present Tense.
The rest is under a cut as it might be construed as spoilers.
Warnings: Scars.
Pairing: Seamus/Lavender, Dean/Luna
Summary: Now that she's no longer perfect, Seamus wants Lavender more.
A/N: With many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
yodels, why_me_why_not, oconel and janicechess for betaing and handholding. Yes, I wrote het with my favorite pairing and they're not at all romantic with each other. I think my slash is broken. That being said, all remaining mistakes are my own and I'd love to hear what you all think of the story.
He feels like the absolute biggest pervert in the entire world. Don't think he hasn't castigated himself over it, because he has. Lord knows, he has. He's cursed at himself, beaten his head against a wall, grabbed an iron and started to iron his hand like a regretful house-elf and yet? He still can't get rid of these damn feelings.
Seamus Finnigan wants Lavender Brown as she is now, bandaged and scarred and broken. She's even more beautiful to him now -- now that her face is half covered and she's wearing Greyback's teeth in her shoulder -- than she was when they went to the Yule Ball together. She's so beautiful as she lies on that bed, her breath stuttered as she relives a nightmare or even as she sleeps a deep, calming, cleansing sleep.
He doesn't care which one, really, she's beautiful either way. Christ but he feels like a prick, like a giant fucking perverted prick, when he sits next to her bed and traces the veins on the back of her hand while she sleeps. Cataloguing all the scars, he can see where the stone had cut into her skin and the cuts haven't had a chance to heal yet.
She's not allowed to move just yet; Madam Pomfrey won't let her as they're trying to heal her back from the fall. They're not sure what'll happen at the next full moon, not at all sure if she'll turn or not. To Seamus, the risk is worth it because, even then, she'll still be beautiful.
When she wakes, in the middle of the night, and looks at him, Seamus smiles at her and his thumb brushes against the back of her hand again. She shudders and looks away but Seamus reaches out a hand and tilts her face back. They stare at one another and Seamus sees the shame, the pity, the self-doubt and, even worse, the self-loathing she feels. He wants to heal that, wants to see her smile again like she hasn't smiled since they all came back to Hogwarts at the beginning of the year.
She finally reaches up and bats away his hand with her bandaged one and he lets her turn her face away from him. She'll come around. She has to. He's not quite sure what he'll do if she's not there anymore.
~~**~~
Lavender's his first kiss. His older brother teases him that he's a late bloomer, but that just gets him hexed when mam isn't looking. Fuck that can't-do-magic-outside-of-Hogwarts-thing. The Ministry is way over there and he's way over here. He gets away with it, much to his brother's chagrin.
Getting back to the kiss, Seamus can still remember the way that his heart had raced, that he'd started to sweat and the itchysoftstiff feel of his dress robes that had barely absorbed the sweat pouring off of him. He remembers the skitter of his heart when her lips pressed against his and the way that he'd swelled in his trousers instantly.
Single greatest moment of his life, what with the way she'd kissed him, brushed her breasts against his chest and he'd been able to look down her dress. He can still remember the way he'd actually been able to look down at her chest, something that he hadn't been able to do with the vast majority of girls at school.
Let's face it, Seamus is short. As in really short. As in shorter than most girls, so to find a girl like that? It's a priceless find.
Except that it's a priceless find that doesn't last much more than a month before she's looking at others and so is he. He's off to Susan Bones and she's off to making eyes at Ron Weasley. It's an amiable break up, they're still friends.
The thrill's gone, is all.
~~**~~
When he kisses her, his heart races, same as before. They're a hallway in St. Mungo's and Seamus is supposed to be helping Lavender walk up and down it in her little hospital gown that does more to tempt and tease than to protect her privacy. Seamus spends more time watching the little mincing steps she makes, the way her back muscles ripple underneath the scarred flesh, than he does helping her along.
Her grip – white knuckled and tight – clenches at his arm and he ensures that it's steady for her but he's also half a step behind her and watching the way her ass jiggles just slightly in the dainty steps. He tries to think of it as clinical detachment; he's only trying to see how her back has healed up since having her spine broken.
He's completely and totally lying to himself. He's really watching the play of shadows and fabric and scars. He's watching to see if she has any other marks he hasn't seen before because those little imperfections are exactly what are attracting him to her now.
Maybe she was too perfect before, too pretty, too dainty, too self-absorbed. Maybe it's that she wasn't able to relate to others with imperfections that finally turned Seamus off of her. Maybe it was that she was so self-absorbed that she couldn't see Seamus, but with the scarring, surely she'll be able to see beyond herself?
The logic's really circular, he's smart enough to realise that. He just doesn't give a shit, anymore, doesn't fucking care why he's attracted. He just is. He doesn't need to understand it, just like he doesn't need to understand why Dean's so interested in Nargles and Snorkacks and Blubbering Bodacellis or whatever the fuck Luna's always on off about.
Lavender stumbles and Seamus holds her, embraces her, pulls her tight. She's beautiful when she's lined up with him and he kisses her. His lips press against hers and she doesn't resist so he brushes at her lower lip with his own, pulling it open so he can thrust his tongue into her mouth. Her head tips back and he follows it, holding her steady as he plunders her mouth. She moans and he takes a step closer.
When his cock brushes her front, she pulls back and slaps him before swiping the back of her hand against her mouth.
~~**~~
"What the hell is a Nargle, anyway?" Seamus asks Dean as they sit together with a pint in front of each of them. It's been a month since the (Second) Battle of Hogwarts. There's talk of a memorial to everyone that was lost but Seamus doesn't think about it because he'd rather be thinking of Lavender and Dean and Luna and the way that Dean seems to attract all sorts around him.
Maybe Seamus and Luna are two of a kind, it's just that Luna's always been more open and honest about her eccentricities than Seamus ever has been.
"Don't rightly know, mate, some sort of creature or something." Dean takes a swig of his lager and then grins, bumping his shoulder against Seamus conspiratorially. "Don't rightly care either. Whenever she's on about Nargles, I just snog her. Makes her happy and it makes me happy too."
The last is said with a leer and Seamus laughs even as he wonders just what the hell had happened while Dean had been on the run all that time. Dean doesn't talk about it with anyone – though Seamus suspects that he has talked about it with Luna and the bitter jealousy is quickly pushed down – but if Luna makes Dean happy, then Luna's the one Seamus wants for Dean. It's as simple as that.
"How's Lavender getting on?" Dean asks and Seamus gulps his ale, barely avoiding choking. The question startles him even as he knows that it's a good question, an innocent question that anyone would ask considering how much time Seamus has been spending at the hospital.
"No change, mate, nothing. She's still all wrapped up like those mummies Ron showed us from Egypt." The reference works and Dean's distracted enough that he lapses into a conversation about how Luna swears that there are Flibbering Flidgwidgets or Flyswoopers or something or other – doesn't matter, it still only takes a snog to distract her – and Seamus congratulates himself on hiding his eccentricities.
For some reason, he thinks that Luna would be ashamed of him right about now.
~~**~~
Lavender's insisted that the door stays locked to him. What she obviously doesn't understand is that when there's a will, an Irishman will find a way. Seamus slips in behind a nurse and, after she's done with her check, approaches. Lavender turns to the side and Seamus can't help but feel lost that she still won't look at him.
"I'm not going to apologise for kissing you." She doesn't answer, and though the temptation to kick the edge of the bed is strong, Seamus resists. Instead, he sits down in the chair he'd spent so long in and he reaches out, touching the back of her hand. She pulls away and his hand follows. Her hand slides under the blankets, forcing them up until they're up to her chin, covering her chin and he keeps his hand on top of the blanket. "I'm not going to apologise for kissing you."
"You've said that," she whispers and Seamus takes it as a good sign. At least she's sort of talking to him.
"Aye, well, I'll keep saying it until you realise that I'm not sorry. I'm not. I'm not sorry for kissing you at all. I liked it."
"I didn't."
"Not at all? Not even a wee bit?"
"No, I didn't like it at all." She's still not looking at him so Seamus touches her cheek, tracing a finger lightly down her skin.
"If you'll look at me when you say that, I'll believe you." His voice is soft as he speaks.
When she turns to look at him, she's crying and his heart drops to his feet.
~~**~~
"So you and Luna, huh?" Seamus bumps his shoulder against Dean's as they take their familiar seats at the bar. The waitress knows them well enough now that she pulls their drinks and sets the glasses in front of them. They're quick to pay and Seamus takes a nice, big drink of his.
"So you and Lav, huh?" Dean responds and bumps Seamus harder.
"Nothing wrong with it." Seamus sounds defensive and that's not what he wanted. "She's a pretty lass; we just needed a bit of time to grow up, is all."
"Not saying that it's a bad thing, Shame, she was a pretty girl."
"Is," Seamus says forcefully and Dean pulls his hands up in a warding gesture.
"Right, is. Just…"
"Just what?"
"The scars and the bite and the werewolf thing?"
"Just a bigger craving for meat, 's all. She likes what I cook, says it's raw enough for her. The pieces might as well moo, from what cooking I do to them. The scars just make her interesting, is all. Besides, Parvati's figured out some sort of lotion or something to reduce the swelling of the bite ones. We've been rubbing it in nightly."
"I'm sure that isn't the only thing you're rubbing in nightly," Dean leers with an exaggeration that makes Seamus cough and sputter with laughter.
"Sod off, mate." He only gets a waggle of eyebrows in response.
~~**~~
When Seamus slides into Lavender for the first time, it's abso-fucking-lutely amazing. In the books his mam always read – the ones that he would never ever ever admit to reading, not even under Veritaserum, if he could help it – the hero would slide into the woman and it'd feel like coming home. He'd laughed at it, mocked it as absolute bullshit but.
But when he slides into Lavender for the first time, it feels like coming home.
As always, I'd love to hear what you think!
Fandom: HP
Wordcount: ~2000
Rating: Um... A smidge higher than PG-13 but I wouldn't list it as R... What about PG-15?
Warnings: DH-Spoilers. Het. Present Tense.
The rest is under a cut as it might be construed as spoilers.
Warnings: Scars.
Pairing: Seamus/Lavender, Dean/Luna
Summary: Now that she's no longer perfect, Seamus wants Lavender more.
A/N: With many thanks to
yodels, why_me_why_not, oconel and janicechess for betaing and handholding. Yes, I wrote het with my favorite pairing and they're not at all romantic with each other. I think my slash is broken. That being said, all remaining mistakes are my own and I'd love to hear what you all think of the story. He feels like the absolute biggest pervert in the entire world. Don't think he hasn't castigated himself over it, because he has. Lord knows, he has. He's cursed at himself, beaten his head against a wall, grabbed an iron and started to iron his hand like a regretful house-elf and yet? He still can't get rid of these damn feelings.
Seamus Finnigan wants Lavender Brown as she is now, bandaged and scarred and broken. She's even more beautiful to him now -- now that her face is half covered and she's wearing Greyback's teeth in her shoulder -- than she was when they went to the Yule Ball together. She's so beautiful as she lies on that bed, her breath stuttered as she relives a nightmare or even as she sleeps a deep, calming, cleansing sleep.
He doesn't care which one, really, she's beautiful either way. Christ but he feels like a prick, like a giant fucking perverted prick, when he sits next to her bed and traces the veins on the back of her hand while she sleeps. Cataloguing all the scars, he can see where the stone had cut into her skin and the cuts haven't had a chance to heal yet.
She's not allowed to move just yet; Madam Pomfrey won't let her as they're trying to heal her back from the fall. They're not sure what'll happen at the next full moon, not at all sure if she'll turn or not. To Seamus, the risk is worth it because, even then, she'll still be beautiful.
When she wakes, in the middle of the night, and looks at him, Seamus smiles at her and his thumb brushes against the back of her hand again. She shudders and looks away but Seamus reaches out a hand and tilts her face back. They stare at one another and Seamus sees the shame, the pity, the self-doubt and, even worse, the self-loathing she feels. He wants to heal that, wants to see her smile again like she hasn't smiled since they all came back to Hogwarts at the beginning of the year.
She finally reaches up and bats away his hand with her bandaged one and he lets her turn her face away from him. She'll come around. She has to. He's not quite sure what he'll do if she's not there anymore.
Lavender's his first kiss. His older brother teases him that he's a late bloomer, but that just gets him hexed when mam isn't looking. Fuck that can't-do-magic-outside-of-Hogwarts-thing. The Ministry is way over there and he's way over here. He gets away with it, much to his brother's chagrin.
Getting back to the kiss, Seamus can still remember the way that his heart had raced, that he'd started to sweat and the itchysoftstiff feel of his dress robes that had barely absorbed the sweat pouring off of him. He remembers the skitter of his heart when her lips pressed against his and the way that he'd swelled in his trousers instantly.
Single greatest moment of his life, what with the way she'd kissed him, brushed her breasts against his chest and he'd been able to look down her dress. He can still remember the way he'd actually been able to look down at her chest, something that he hadn't been able to do with the vast majority of girls at school.
Let's face it, Seamus is short. As in really short. As in shorter than most girls, so to find a girl like that? It's a priceless find.
Except that it's a priceless find that doesn't last much more than a month before she's looking at others and so is he. He's off to Susan Bones and she's off to making eyes at Ron Weasley. It's an amiable break up, they're still friends.
The thrill's gone, is all.
When he kisses her, his heart races, same as before. They're a hallway in St. Mungo's and Seamus is supposed to be helping Lavender walk up and down it in her little hospital gown that does more to tempt and tease than to protect her privacy. Seamus spends more time watching the little mincing steps she makes, the way her back muscles ripple underneath the scarred flesh, than he does helping her along.
Her grip – white knuckled and tight – clenches at his arm and he ensures that it's steady for her but he's also half a step behind her and watching the way her ass jiggles just slightly in the dainty steps. He tries to think of it as clinical detachment; he's only trying to see how her back has healed up since having her spine broken.
He's completely and totally lying to himself. He's really watching the play of shadows and fabric and scars. He's watching to see if she has any other marks he hasn't seen before because those little imperfections are exactly what are attracting him to her now.
Maybe she was too perfect before, too pretty, too dainty, too self-absorbed. Maybe it's that she wasn't able to relate to others with imperfections that finally turned Seamus off of her. Maybe it was that she was so self-absorbed that she couldn't see Seamus, but with the scarring, surely she'll be able to see beyond herself?
The logic's really circular, he's smart enough to realise that. He just doesn't give a shit, anymore, doesn't fucking care why he's attracted. He just is. He doesn't need to understand it, just like he doesn't need to understand why Dean's so interested in Nargles and Snorkacks and Blubbering Bodacellis or whatever the fuck Luna's always on off about.
Lavender stumbles and Seamus holds her, embraces her, pulls her tight. She's beautiful when she's lined up with him and he kisses her. His lips press against hers and she doesn't resist so he brushes at her lower lip with his own, pulling it open so he can thrust his tongue into her mouth. Her head tips back and he follows it, holding her steady as he plunders her mouth. She moans and he takes a step closer.
When his cock brushes her front, she pulls back and slaps him before swiping the back of her hand against her mouth.
"What the hell is a Nargle, anyway?" Seamus asks Dean as they sit together with a pint in front of each of them. It's been a month since the (Second) Battle of Hogwarts. There's talk of a memorial to everyone that was lost but Seamus doesn't think about it because he'd rather be thinking of Lavender and Dean and Luna and the way that Dean seems to attract all sorts around him.
Maybe Seamus and Luna are two of a kind, it's just that Luna's always been more open and honest about her eccentricities than Seamus ever has been.
"Don't rightly know, mate, some sort of creature or something." Dean takes a swig of his lager and then grins, bumping his shoulder against Seamus conspiratorially. "Don't rightly care either. Whenever she's on about Nargles, I just snog her. Makes her happy and it makes me happy too."
The last is said with a leer and Seamus laughs even as he wonders just what the hell had happened while Dean had been on the run all that time. Dean doesn't talk about it with anyone – though Seamus suspects that he has talked about it with Luna and the bitter jealousy is quickly pushed down – but if Luna makes Dean happy, then Luna's the one Seamus wants for Dean. It's as simple as that.
"How's Lavender getting on?" Dean asks and Seamus gulps his ale, barely avoiding choking. The question startles him even as he knows that it's a good question, an innocent question that anyone would ask considering how much time Seamus has been spending at the hospital.
"No change, mate, nothing. She's still all wrapped up like those mummies Ron showed us from Egypt." The reference works and Dean's distracted enough that he lapses into a conversation about how Luna swears that there are Flibbering Flidgwidgets or Flyswoopers or something or other – doesn't matter, it still only takes a snog to distract her – and Seamus congratulates himself on hiding his eccentricities.
For some reason, he thinks that Luna would be ashamed of him right about now.
Lavender's insisted that the door stays locked to him. What she obviously doesn't understand is that when there's a will, an Irishman will find a way. Seamus slips in behind a nurse and, after she's done with her check, approaches. Lavender turns to the side and Seamus can't help but feel lost that she still won't look at him.
"I'm not going to apologise for kissing you." She doesn't answer, and though the temptation to kick the edge of the bed is strong, Seamus resists. Instead, he sits down in the chair he'd spent so long in and he reaches out, touching the back of her hand. She pulls away and his hand follows. Her hand slides under the blankets, forcing them up until they're up to her chin, covering her chin and he keeps his hand on top of the blanket. "I'm not going to apologise for kissing you."
"You've said that," she whispers and Seamus takes it as a good sign. At least she's sort of talking to him.
"Aye, well, I'll keep saying it until you realise that I'm not sorry. I'm not. I'm not sorry for kissing you at all. I liked it."
"I didn't."
"Not at all? Not even a wee bit?"
"No, I didn't like it at all." She's still not looking at him so Seamus touches her cheek, tracing a finger lightly down her skin.
"If you'll look at me when you say that, I'll believe you." His voice is soft as he speaks.
When she turns to look at him, she's crying and his heart drops to his feet.
"So you and Luna, huh?" Seamus bumps his shoulder against Dean's as they take their familiar seats at the bar. The waitress knows them well enough now that she pulls their drinks and sets the glasses in front of them. They're quick to pay and Seamus takes a nice, big drink of his.
"So you and Lav, huh?" Dean responds and bumps Seamus harder.
"Nothing wrong with it." Seamus sounds defensive and that's not what he wanted. "She's a pretty lass; we just needed a bit of time to grow up, is all."
"Not saying that it's a bad thing, Shame, she was a pretty girl."
"Is," Seamus says forcefully and Dean pulls his hands up in a warding gesture.
"Right, is. Just…"
"Just what?"
"The scars and the bite and the werewolf thing?"
"Just a bigger craving for meat, 's all. She likes what I cook, says it's raw enough for her. The pieces might as well moo, from what cooking I do to them. The scars just make her interesting, is all. Besides, Parvati's figured out some sort of lotion or something to reduce the swelling of the bite ones. We've been rubbing it in nightly."
"I'm sure that isn't the only thing you're rubbing in nightly," Dean leers with an exaggeration that makes Seamus cough and sputter with laughter.
"Sod off, mate." He only gets a waggle of eyebrows in response.
When Seamus slides into Lavender for the first time, it's abso-fucking-lutely amazing. In the books his mam always read – the ones that he would never ever ever admit to reading, not even under Veritaserum, if he could help it – the hero would slide into the woman and it'd feel like coming home. He'd laughed at it, mocked it as absolute bullshit but.
But when he slides into Lavender for the first time, it feels like coming home.
