ext_14138 ([identity profile] furiosity.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] wook77 2009-03-27 05:05 am (UTC)

What I'm saying is you don't need to describe the taste in loving detail, that's all! Most people will know what these things taste like, and you run the risk of describing it wrong for someone, because taste sensations differ!

For example, you could go with something like:
Instead, he nodded, closed his eyes and picked up the sandwich, taking a full bite. Turkey and provolone. Tomatoes and [what kind of?] sprouts. Pumpernickel. [insert sentence-reaction relating this to his ham-and-swiss habit and What It Might Mean OMG].
I don't know if the staccato rhythm & the italics on pumpernickel (which presumably is the most "different" thing about this sandwich?) is appropriate to your scene, but you could accomplish a more lingering effect with ellipses, though IDK if that would count as ellipsis abuse (I'd totally do it XD).

Also, you might want to have him pick up the sandwich and then close his eyes, because otherwise I see blooper scene potential in the visual ("um, dawg, that's the knife, not the sandwich... DON'T BITE THAT OW")

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