Fic: Memories as a Teacup: Chapter 15

[wook77]

Title: Memories as a Teacup: Chapter 15
Author: wook77
Pairing:: Dean/Seamus (other slash and het pairings contained within)
Rating: PG (Eventual rating: Hard R to NC-17)
100quills prompt: 36. Sojourn
Warnings: Canon compliant through DH. Pre-Epilogue. Additional Warnings at the beginning of Chapter 1.
Wordcount: Overall: ~70k This part: 2550
Summary: Four years ago, Dean Thomas died in the midst of a raid. Seamus saw it happen right in front of his eyes but seeing isn't believing and reality is in the eye of the beholder.
A/N: Many many thanks to nefernat and elanorofcastile for the beta job. All remaining mistakes are my own. (we're over 52k through the story OMG)

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Seamus stood and crossed the room, pausing only for a moment to hug Dennis.

"Fuck's sake, mate, least you could've done was return an owl or two," he said as he gave Dennis a squeeze and the pulled back to shake him. "Had me and Vati worried sick what with the way you disappeared."

"Yeah, well, had to go and get my head back on, didn't I?" Seamus stepped back and gestured for Dennis to enter. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"Just a boring report on camping requirements for the next World Cup. Nothing important. So, where've you been?"

"Romania," Dennis said as he sat down.

"Fuck off, really?" Dennis nodded. "What the hell were you doing there?"

"Getting my head put back on. Colin and me, we always talked about going to see the dragons, you know? Blame the Triwizard Tournament for that. Once we heard there were dragons, Colin and me snuck out one night and, God, they were awesome creatures, weren't they?" Dennis looked far off for a moment and Seamus let him gather himself. "After dinner that night and Parvati yelling at me like she did, well, I took her seriously. I figured the dragons would either kill me or I'd be forced to live. One way or another, everything would get sorted out."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not cut out to be a dragon wrangler in the least, I can tell you that much. Almost died half a dozen times but when I didn't, I figured I should probably get on with living. Colin wouldn't be too happy with me for wasting what I have anyway. Done enough wasting of my life." Dennis cocked his head to the side. "Figure you might understand that better'n most."

"Yeah, that I do. So you're for getting on with your life?"

"Yeah, is why I came back here. Everything all right? I miss anything?"

"Dean's in hospital, Vati's taking care of him. I'm to appear before the Wizengamot along with Harry and Ron. Other than that? Not a thing, mate." Seamus listed all of it off with a sardonic tone, counting the issues off with his fingers. Dennis looked worried for a moment.

"Can I help with any of it?"

"You could help by talking to Vati. She'd probably appreciate knowing you were still in the land of the living."

"Plan."

"She'll be harder to win over than me." Seamus balled up his boss's request and tossed it at Dennis. "You were a right prick to all of us but Vati more."

"Had some things I needed to work through." Dennis sounded defensive but Seamus didn't much care.

"Said that already. I'm not the one you need to say that to. Vati's at work but maybe you could stop by tonight and explain it to her directly. Word of advice, though, I'd take flowers at the least."

"She that mad at me?" Dennis asked and all Seamus could do was nod. He really didn't think that flowers were going to heal any sort of wound but they might keep her from killing him long enough to allow him to explain. "Right, seems I've some bridges to mend."

"Good luck. Come round for dinner one of these nights," Seamus offered only to get a snort in response. "What? It wouldn't be me cooking. Dean's a right good cook."

"Yeah, all right." Dennis stood and started to leave but paused in the doorway. "Thanks."

"Nothing to it." Seamus waved him off and went back to his reports. The tedium and the boredom soon took over, stealing the worry over the upcoming trials from his mind.

~~**~~

Dean's mam came in as Seamus was packing Dean's things so that they could leave the hospital. She barely looked at Seamus – a not all that rare occurrence – and then went over to Dean, fussing with his pillows before grabbing the denims and t-shirt Seamus had laid out for him and switching them for an oxford and a pair of trousers. Refusing to rise to the bait, Seamus bit his tongue and, instead, concentrated on greeting Dean's da.

"Good to see you again, Mister Thomas. Good day, yeah?" He extended his hand and they shook, firm and friendly.

"Very good day. Glad to see him up and about and out of here. I know that Lisa will be happy to see him home again." Mister Thomas gestured towards Dean's mam and then the bags. "Need help getting him packed up?"

"Pardon? Home?" Seamus paused in the packing as he absorbed what had been said.

"Of course he's coming home with us," Dean's mam said condescendingly to him as she straightened the bedding.

"Thought he was coming back with me." Seamus paused as Dean entered the room with Parvati. "How'd that last test go, mate?"

"Good. Got the all clear to head out of here. You packing me up?"

"Aye, almost done." Seamus gestured towards the clothes on the bed. "You can get out of that hospital garb, too. Put on some real clothes."

"Yeah, fine, thanks." Dean grabbed the clothes and started to head towards the loo for a spot of privacy.

"I laid them out," Dean's mam interrupted.

"Oh, thanks, mum," Dean responded and then slipped into the loo.

"So when's he going to get anything back at all?" Seamus asked Parvati as he finished the last bag.

"They're going to start replacing things next week. They've isolated the memories that have been severely damaged and will be working through them but there's quite a bit that can be recovered."

"Quite a bit? You can't get all of it?" Dean's mum sounded angry about it.

"It's always been a small possibility that we'll be able to recover all of his memories. There are multiple spells involved and we're not all that certain as to what caused parts of the damage," Parvati explained but was interrupted by Dean's mum.

"A small possibility? I thought magic fixes everything! Why didn't you tell us this from the beginning?" Her voice kept rising as she continued until Dean interrupted.

"Mum, you didn't get told because you weren't involved in the decision. I'm an adult and I made the choice. If I get them back, I get them back. If I don't, then I don't. At least, this time, there's a possibility. One you denied me for four years. Who knows, maybe if we'd tried this four years ago, I'd get them all back. We'll never know," Dean said and then calmly turned to Seamus. "You about ready?"

"Excuse me for caring about you and trying to protect you! You're my son and – "

"I've already said my piece on that. I'll ring you later in the week to give you an update. You about ready, Seamus?" Dean grabbed one of the bags and started out the door.

"Yeah, sure. Nice seeing you both again," Seamus said as he grabbed the other bag and then walked out behind Dean.

Once they were in the lift, Dean turned to Seamus and snarled, "Nice seeing them?"

"Yeah, sure. It's a good thing that she was willing to come when you needed her."

"She's just trying to control and manipulate me. Again."

"She loves you and she's scared, that's all. She doesn't get any of this." Seamus paused to wave his hand around to encompass all the magic. "It can be scary, I'm sure."

"Stop defending her!" Dean yelled as he dropped the bag and grabbed Seamus's shoulders, pressing Seamus against the back wall of the lift. "Stop it! If she'd been willing to help me, she would've come this way right away instead of locking it away! If you cared, you wouldn't take her side!"

Seamus took a deep breath as he stayed still, pinned behind the wall and Dean. Despite the serious topic of conversation, Seamus wanted to lean forward a hair and press his lips against Dean's, taste him and get even closer. He wanted that hair between his fingers and that tongue in his mouth. Feeling himself grow hard, Seamus reached out and pushed Dean away. "Don't much appreciate the attack, mate. I care about you, I think we've established that. Don't rightly need you telling me that I don't. I know you miss your mum, though, and I know how close you always were. I'm trying to help you with that."

Dean stepped back and raked a hand through his hair. "If she'd just step outside herself."

"She will, I'm sure she will. You should've seen her when I asked her to come, not a single moment of hesitation. She just grabbed her coat and we were off. She loves you, she's just scared and acting out with it."

The lift dinged and interrupted their conversation. As they stepped out, Seamus said, "Give her some time, mate. Just a bit of time."

"I'm tired of giving time to everyone. I want time given back to me."

Seamus couldn't help it, he stopped walking and just held on to Dean, rubbing small circles on his back. "I know, Dean, I know. We'll get it back to you."

He could feel Dean press his face against Seamus's scalp and breathed deeply. "Promise?"

"Promise. Wouldn't want you to miss out on the match with Vati and Ron, would I?"

"Yeah," Dean agreed and then let go. "Let's get something to eat."

"Want to go somewhere or you want me to cook?"

"I'm just getting out of hospital, I'd rather you not put me right back in it, thanks." Dean laughed and the slung his arm around Seamus's shoulders. Seamus slipped his own arm around Dean's waist, tucking his hand into the back pocket of the trousers.

~~**~~

After knocking on the door, Dean could feel his stomach fluttering. When his mum opened the door, Dean grinned at her and asked, "Can I come in?"

"Of course. You still live here." She stepped back and he entered the flat.

"Mum," he started but she interrupted.

"What did I say wrong this time?"

"I don't live here, mum. I'm living with Seamus." She snorted, the sound of disgust echoing about. "I do and right now? That isn't going to change. I don't live here anymore. You want to yell and ignore me, fine, then I'll go back to Seamus's and keep ignoring you, too. I'd rather we talk this out, though. I miss you."

"I never yelled at you."

"No, just at my Healer and Seamus and the rest of the people trying to help me instead of hiding everything I was. Everything I am."

"You're not that sort anymore!"

"I am, mum, I am and you need to deal with that. I'm sorry that I scared you so much before. I'm sorry that you are so scared that you can't accept that I'd rather be whole and at risk than live a half-life here. I'm sorry that you're scared but, mum, this is my life and I want to live it. I'm not going to leave magic, not again. I had it ripped away from me and you just continued the job of it." Dean reached out a hand and touched his mum's shoulder. "I want it back, much as I can get. If you can't deal with that, then, well, I don't know what to say about that. I want you around but not if you're always trying to control me and hide everything. You need to deal with this as much as I do."

Dean's anger faded away as she gave a small sob. Hugging her close to him, he whispered, "I love you, mum, but I have to live my own life too. You need to forgive me for scaring you."

"You're not going back to what you did before, are you?"

"Was thinking of working for a magazine doing the same as I did. Lav, one of the girls I went to school with, is willing to hire me to help her at her magazine." Dean squeezed her tight. "I want to go back to it."

"And to him?"

"And to him. I'm falling in love with him, mum."

"He hurt you so much before. He almost got you killed."

"He didn't much as he wants to think that he did. Partners are just that, partners." Dean pulled back and wiped her tear tracks with his thumb. "It's not anyone's fault but the people we were after unless you add me to the mix for not waiting and just charging in."

"I …"

"I'm falling in love with him," Dean repeated firmly. "Just him, without the history or anything. You used to like him, didn't you?"

"Yeah," she admitted quietly.

"Well, then, something for us to remember and focus on. He blames himself, too. He's a good man. He cares for me."

"I know that from his messages," she said and then caught herself, face shutting down.

"What messages?"

"In for a pound, I guess. He's been giving me updates on you this whole time, he didn't want me to worry about you."

"He did, did he?" Dean felt the anger growing again. It hadn't been Seamus's place to call his mother. "I need to head out. Want dinner later on in the week?"

"Of course." She reached out and hugged him. "I love you."

"Love you too," he said and then left the flat to head back to Seamus's. The wand in his pocket, regardless of whether he knew how to use it or not, felt familiar and comforting as he made his way. As he rode on the train, he wondered if, perhaps, he should try that spell of Seamus's that moved them from place to place. He remembered the words but not the magic and… and it was a bad idea, clearly. Besides, he'd be at the flat in a couple of minutes and those couple of minutes were important to him so that he could calm down.

When he entered the flat, he yelled out, "Seamus? Got a minute?"

Seamus came out of the bedroom, towelling off his hair. "Course I do. What's up?"

"You talked to my mum."

"When?" Seamus looked a bit shifty to Dean, it was quite clear that Seamus knew exactly what he was talking about.

"You called her and told her how I was doing even though I told you not to."

"She deserved to know about you."

"It was my choice! You had no right!" Dean pounded a hand on the small table by the door before storming into the kitchen. "No right at all! I said not to do it and you just went ahead and did it!"

"I did it for a reason, you know!" Seamus followed him into the kitchen. Dean, to keep from doing something he'd regret, grabbed the kettle and poured out a couple cups of tea, hands shaking the entire time.

"What reason was that, Seamus?"

"I love you, you fucking arse!" Dean turned around, forgetting about the tea in his hands as he stared at Seamus. Seamus, for his part, looked gobsmacked at himself.

"You don't love me."

"I do, yeah."

"You love who I was. You want me back the way I was and that isn't going to happen." Dean started to leave the kitchen when Seamus grabbed his shoulder.

As always, I'd love to hear what you thought.

Chapter 16