Aug. 19th, 2011

wook77: (star wars: shut it)
So, problem employee turned in her notice after the previously discussed issue. Which I totally expected so I was well-prepared with knowing the resume/interviewing process was about to happen. Day before leaving for Star Trek: Las Vegas (more on that later), we put the ads out and the resumes poured in.

Thus, you get to continue along with the sequel: Adventures in Hiring v2.0. For v1.0, see here. There's plenty of crazy.

I'm rather cheap for this so I only listed with the unemployment office and craigslist as they're both free to list jobs.

We've got baristas with no accounting history but they know how to make mini-donuts. We've got 7th Grade Math Teachers. We've got former Controllers. We've got Circle K Managers. We've got so many random people. No one super bitchy yet which is a plus. Instead, there's just a whole lot of unqualified applicants.

We did the first interview this morning. The lady wore so much perfume that I barely kept from gagging. Three hours later (and lunch), I'm still tasting her perfume on my tongue. I have a major headache from the perfume.

Here's a hint - if you're looking for a job, do not wear perfume. You don't know if the hiring person is scent-sensitive or not. If they are and you wear perfume, you're out of the hiring pool. If they aren't and you don't wear perfume, you simply smell normal and human. See, win/win to not wear perfume. The sad part is that this lady interviewed very well for the most part but the perfume was just too strong for me to consider having that in my office all the time.

Another hint - a resume should be formated in a certain way. If you have random columns that I can't figure out the logic behind, you are not going to get an interview. If you still have the brackets where Word wants you to fill in the blanks, I will think that you do not know how to use Word properly and will not hire you. I simply have too many resumes coming in to try to spend more than a few minutes on a resume that makes no sense and/or looks appalling.

Third hint - if you use all caps in your cover letter to emphasize how GREAT and AMAZING of a JOB CANDIDATE you are, I am going to think that you are neither GREAT nor AMAZING. I'm going to think that you like random caps and compose unprofessional correspondence for my professional job.

Final hint - stop with the family status in your resume. Seriously. I do not want to know about how many children you have. I only want to know about what qualifications you have to perform the job I am advertising for.

January 2012

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